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Lifestyle/Kink


Manykin
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I'm really surprised to see how many of you treat dd/lg as a full blown lifestyle, because for me it's more of a kink. I don't really have the ability for it to be a lifestyle, Im underage, Live with my family, but even if I didnt I'm not sure how I'd feel about it. In relationships I like complete equality, I see myself as a protector and care giver, but without a power disparity. Sexually it's a completely different story, power is great! But I'm not sure how well Id jive with being daddy 24/7, I just wanna be Andy sometimes. But I don't know, I never did live like it, and I never learned much about it either.

 

What's it like to live like that? How does it compare to a non dd/lg relationship? Do I even fit in here if I'm not all about that?

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Of course you fit in here :)  Everyone is different, and we welcome everyone.  Off handedly I'm aware of plenty of members that don't treat it as a lifestyle.

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Of course you fit in here :)  Everyone is different, and we welcome everyone.  Off handedly I'm aware of plenty of members that don't treat it as a lifestyle.

Cool! But you do? Can I ask a few questions about it?

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Of course!

Okay! Would you ever go back? Like, now that you've had this kinda relationship is it the only kind you ever want to have, and a more vanilla one would just be lame? And when you're outside how does interacting work? Like if you're on a date at a restaurant or something in public, how does the dd/lg dynamic play out?

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Okay! Would you ever go back? Like, now that you've had this kinda relationship is it the only kind you ever want to have, and a more vanilla one would just be lame? And when you're outside how does interacting work? Like if you're on a date at a restaurant or something in public, how does the dd/lg dynamic play out?

 

I have absolutely no issue with people in vanilla relationships.  For me at least, it's just the way that I find most comfortable interacting with my boyfriend.  I've always been that way.  It's been the reason most of my past relationships have failed... the other person eventually leaves me for being too childish and needy or just gets frustrated.  It's just something ingrained into my personality.  Obviously though, not everyone is like me, so that's just my own personal experience.

 

As far as when we're out in public?  We're more cautious about things.  He wouldn't call me "little lady" or I wouldn't call him "daddy" in front of a bunch of people at the store.  But I do let a lot of my inner child out whenever I can.  It's mostly a compromise, I try to be true to who I am while still attempting to blend in with society.... not sure if that's a bad thing or a good thing though?

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Guest DominantBlogger

For me I found it was just how I naturally interact with my submissive on a daily basis.  It isn't always black and white.  But there are always shades of DDlg in our relationship.  Sometimes darker and sometimes lighter.  We live together 24/7 and I have kids from my previous marriage that live with me full-time.

 

But 24/7 isn't ever what people think it is... 

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Okay! Would you ever go back? Like, now that you've had this kinda relationship is it the only kind you ever want to have, and a more vanilla one would just be lame? And when you're outside how does interacting work? Like if you're on a date at a restaurant or something in public, how does the dd/lg dynamic play out?

I don't think my Daddy and I could ever go back to a vanilla relationship because this dynamic is just who we are. He is very much the responsible caregiver and I'm very much a child at heart that needs guidance and care, its not our lifestyle solely because its a kink, its out lifestyle because its who we are. As far as interacting outside of the house, he'll still call me princess and will still act as my caregiver but I don't call him Daddy in front of strangers or people who don't know about our relationship, but this isn't because we're uncomfortable with people knowing- personally we don't care, but we know others will be uncomfortable hearing me call him Daddy. -shrugs- You gotta be considerate.
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Okay! Would you ever go back? Like, now that you've had this kinda relationship is it the only kind you ever want to have, and a more vanilla one would just be lame? And when you're outside how does interacting work? Like if you're on a date at a restaurant or something in public, how does the dd/lg dynamic play out?

 

For me, a partner has very specific qualities. What I am looking for in a partner is someone that watches out for my well being and accepts that I am going to be who I am going to be. It is not a requirement for my relationship to have a D/S dynamic, but it is a requirement that they deal with the fact that I'm always in diapers and have a childlike personality.

 

I can fully accept a vanilla relationship, just as long as they like me for me.

 

On dates, I often find myself just being me, but I don't end up calling him daddy. But he calls me Peppito because it's a pet name that doesn't rile any feathers. We go on dates just like any other couple.

 

Personally I find my husband to be a controvercial subject. Sometimes he's a wonderful daddy that I love to death and we go on adventures and everything is awesome. Sometimes he's a big thoughtless lug that, while not abusive, should really get a job and provide for me. Living with a partner 24/7 is great, but also annoying, but also great, but also really fucking annoying. You have to be very patient and very good with psychology to make a relationship work.

 

You'll get there someday :)

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Guest DominantBlogger

Okay! Would you ever go back? Like, now that you've had this kinda relationship is it the only kind you ever want to have, and a more vanilla one would just be lame? And when you're outside how does interacting work? Like if you're on a date at a restaurant or something in public, how does the dd/lg dynamic play out?

 

I can't imagine ever not engaging BDSM and the dynamics involved to some extent in any future relationship.  However, my relationships are all different in their scope.  My primary partner is a little and though I really only could imagine being a Daddy to her, I have been the role of 'uncle' to little friends who were in between relationships.  It's not the same and it shouldn't be the same.  But, there are aspects, as you can guess, that are very similar. 

 

When it comes to how the dynamic plays out in public remember that the physical aspects of any BDSM dynamic are just the fruit of the mental.  What i mean is...  It isn't all cages and pacis and sexy time and whatnot...  To me, at least, the most important parts of the dynamic are unspoken.  The way I make sure she is always furthest away from the street when we are walking on the sidewalk.  Or the way she wants me to order for her at a restaurant.

 

It's the little things that matter.

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For Papabear and me it's all ddlg with more of a d/s flavor in the bedroom, and mostly ddlg in our daily life just because of our dynamic. For day-to-day I wouldn't say ddlg overpowers our relationship at all, it's just the tone of it. We have plenty of vanilla! We're both very studious, so we talk about ideas a lot, just after he'll feed me applesauce hehe. http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/119/0/d/tiny_heart_by_sanitydying-d4y13ou.png

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I live the lifestyle 24/7 but like DM said it really isn't what people think it is etc. I'm always little because it's part of who I am and my personality and I'm not afraid to show it. Sure some days I don't feel little etc or I have to be an adult but little me is still there. I can't really say much about calling someone daddy or sir or anything because my sir would only come over and we never went out (part of the red flag thing). But I wouldn't be ashamed to do so or hide it at all unless he felt uncomfortable with it. I think my immediate family knows sort of that I'm a little but they have never heard of the term and no nothing about bdsm but they see my pacis and sippy cups and they really don't care lol.

 

I don't think I could live without the lifestyle since I found it I feel so comfortable with myself.  I was in special education and they'd always test me and say my mind was of a 3-5th grader when I was in high school. I felt stupid and childish because of the way I was. I had to grow up fast in certain ways so once I found the lifestyle and learned about little's it clicked and made me feel at home because of my mindset and because I don't feel like I got to enjoy my childhood. I enjoy everything of the dynamic- not just dd/lg but d/s in general. So without I don't know. I hated all of my vanilla relationships because it was just.. boring? The kinks involved (pain etc) are something I wouldn't see myself without because of what it gives me (stress relief etc).

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For some, it's only a kink and it's fine. As long as you find someone who wants the same thing from the relationship and that you're both happy this way; it's the only thing that matters.

 

For me it's more of a lifestyle than just a kink.

I really love being in a D/s relationship 24/7. We're not always DD/lg, I'm not always little and we do lots of things together like other couples. But I like the fact He's always the 'D' and I'm always the 's'.

Having this kind of relationship really makes me happy, and I feel I can really be myself.

The D/s dynamic is always there but living the lifestyle doesn't mean we don't do regular stuff too.

 

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  • 1 month later...

Started off as a kink for me but slowly became much more. My little Kimi that I have been with for 8 years were both into it sexually at first  within our first year together. But slowly it evolved, I have always noticed she was into kid movies more then other types, and she still drew in coloring books,drank from bottles and such over the years with her but it never really hit me. She then came across the definition of the ddlg lifestyle somewhere on the internet. I did not even know it but I was playing the daddy role long before I know what it meant. But now that I understand it more I try my best to be a good daddy for her and Kristi.

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Okay! Would you ever go back? Like, now that you've had this kinda relationship is it the only kind you ever want to have, and a more vanilla one would just be lame? And when you're outside how does interacting work? Like if you're on a date at a restaurant or something in public, how does the dd/lg dynamic play out?

I'm not sure. It really depends. I mean, I've always been needy and childlike, it's something that Daddy always said he loves about me. He loves how carefree I can be. I'm not even sure if it's much about the relationship with me or if it is an expression of myself. I can be a very grumpy stressed out adult, so allowing myself my little side keeps me sane. It allows me to let go for a little while.

That said though, I think vanilla relationships are fine, but honestly, even if it weren't for DDlg, I'm sure my relationship still wouldn't be vanilla. It would would just be more kinks and quirks. ><

At a restaurant, I've always tried to get the people I'm out with to order for me. Daddy has gotten me to do it several times now, but it was before the dynamic. Anniversary date though? I will be asking him to let me be little ^^

Other ways it does currently play out in public, I will say Daddy when people are not super close, and he will say princess. We hold hands a lot. He does kinda allow me do what I want in public. The worst part is going in a store with the itty bitty little carts (like Kroger), I'm so much in little space I can't help it and he just laughs and lets me fool around with the cart. ><

Other than that, I mean I'm sure we seem vanilla in public.

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  • 1 month later...
I'm feeling quite comfortable in the lifestyle, feeling more little at times than others, but I'm not sure how to incorporate it into the bedroom. I get dressed sexy/cute for King but I'm not sure what else I can do. Ideas? Sometimes I feel like if I'm little I'm too young for sex. Should this have its own thread? We do play with some BDSM but I don't know where the crossover lies.
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I don't think DDLG is ever quite 24/7. There are times when both of you will lapse into more 'normal' behaviors particularly when going about daily life. To me, DDLG just signifies a special, private relationship that emphasizes nurture, caretaking, and lots of attention on both ends. I don't think I could ever not be a little because I was one even before I found the appropriate term to define that characteristic in myself. Although, I once purposely sought partners who claimed they could provide me with a 'papa bear' my true papa bear came out of a vanilla relationship. I never really truly knew what it was to be a little until I met him. Likewise, he never planned on being a papa bear. We simply brought out underlying facets of ourselves that meshed perfectly together. We are always exploring who we are together but at the core, papa bear needs to be needed and so do I and this dynamic works for who we are as individuals. I don't think we could be anything other than a papa bear and a baby. I never stop and consider it to be a kink for I just see it as a different approach to life and I'm not afraid to behave as a baby with my papa bear in public or otherwise but I know where to draw the line too. It's easy enough to do so because a true papa bear should be the love of your life, your best friend, your teacher, and your life partner similtaneously. 

 

With that said, DDLG as a whole is not something I can personally turn on and off. It happens quite unexpectedly. When I was in relationships that lacked this element, I often felt lonely, and would attempt to incorporate aspects of it quite unintentionally. The way DDLG shapes your lifestyle really depends upon you and your partner. I require lots of love and attention, but, I am also aware of my responsibilities and obligations outside our home. I can slip into big girl mode if necessary just like papa bear can pull back a bit if need be. DDLG is a special place of intimacy and unconditional love that I feel we both are able to escape into. It's a way we provide one another not only what we want, but, need out of a relationship. The sexual side is inconsequential compared to the dynamic of caring and being cared for in that special way that can't quite be provided by anyone else.

 

I don't really think of it as a lifestyle. It's just simply who I am and who my papa bear is. In fact, I often ponder whether or not he is so caring, nurturing, and understanding because he is a papa bear or if he is a papa bear because he is nurturing, caring, and understanding. It's the little things that add up from being spoiled emotionally, to the rare treat because you're his 'baby princess.' Although I am submissive, I care for him just as much as he cares for me but in different ways. I think it's important as not just a little but as a partner to give as much as you receive. I respect my papa bear which means I desire for him to guide me and show me the way through decision making, but, I am also his equal in the sense that I enrich his life and perspective as much as he enriches mine. Any healthy partnership would exemplify such a quality. Just as any healthy partnership requires understanding, patience, and unconditional love. I think it's the last one that defines the partnership to me. I want to always know that I will be loved no matter what but even if I am, that doesn't mean I will slack in any capacity. I want to be worthy of that unconditional love and to make him proud of me at all times. I think in every relationship you should expect excellence not just from your partner but from yourself and strive together to achieve that. To me, DDLG just places the greatest emphasis on such a belief system so it's a natural fit for me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel like ddlg for me is somewhere between a lifestyle and a kink. Like it definitely is something we do outside of scenes, but it's not constant. We never officially were like, "hey let's be in an ddlg relationship" but our relationship naturally fits the parameters of one quite often: in the way we care for eachother, keep care of eachother, how we behave, how we flirt and so on. My Daddy's life goal has been to be able to take care of me - emotionally, financially, physically and such. And my goal has always been to make Daddy happy and proud. I think you can be in the ddlg lifestyle without being 24/7 daddy/little mode. 

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As someone new to ddlg, this is a really interesting thing for me to think about, as I haven't really had a real daddy yet. I love the idea of a 24/7 ddlg relationship, but I'm not sure how I'd feel about it after a few months of actually living it. I am submissive, I am a little, I have embraced that most definitely, but I don't feel little 24/7. Actually, I don't feel like any one thing 24/7. I change a lot as a person, and while I have traits and feelings that are constant, I'm not quite a creature of habit like many people are, if that makes sense. It might have something to do with me being the type of person who gets a little spooked by serious commitment (for reasons too heavy to explain here). I have a hard time staying in a vanilla relationship for more than six months, let alone a ddlg relationship. This is definitely something for me to think about.
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