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Questions to ask potential daddy's


premer89
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I am new to the lifesytle and I am exploring my little side. But I am afraid of bad/abusive daddys . What questions do you suggest I ask so I can get to know them better ( I am bad at recognizing red flags)

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Your fears are totally understandable and it's good you're trying to be careful. I think it's just a tough question to answer. My best advice is to avoid people who make you uncomfortable and take everything slow. Get to know the person first before getting too much into dd/lg play. Often if someone wants to jump into play right off the bat it can be a red flag.
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I would ask him what he's looking for. Almost more important than his answer is if you feel that he's just trying to say what he thinks you want to hear. That's flat out manipulation and it's unfortunately common.

 

It also depends on what you're looking for. Do you want an online only Daddy? A Daddy who is into kink or SM or sex? Do you want someone active in the online community? Someone who will spoil you? Someone who will just cuddle you? Make a list of traits that you like and traits that you require and try making a list of questions to see if he has those traits and, if so, why and if he's happy with them.

 

Rather than asking him questions, you can also invite your potential Daddy to ask YOU questions. You can get to know him just as well by what he asks you and how he treats you in that conversation.

 

Good luck in your search!

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I would ask him what he's looking for. Almost more important than his answer is if you feel that he's just trying to say what he thinks you want to hear. That's flat out manipulation and it's unfortunately common.

 

It also depends on what you're looking for. Do you want an online only Daddy? A Daddy who is into kink or SM or sex? Do you want someone active in the online community? Someone who will spoil you? Someone who will just cuddle you? Make a list of traits that you like and traits that you require and try making a list of questions to see if he has those traits and, if so, why and if he's happy with them.

 

Rather than asking him questions, you can also invite your potential Daddy to ask YOU questions. You can get to know him just as well by what he asks you and how he treats you in that conversation.

 

Good luck in your search!

Thanks this is great advice I never thought of having them ask me stuff!

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A friend of mine on fetlife gave me these questions suggestions

 

*How many s-types have you been with?

*What relationship dynamic are you looking for?

Why did your last relationship end?

If you are involved in your local community how did you handle your break up there?

Why did you enter M/s D/s relationships?

Describe yourself as a Dom/Master/Daddy

Describe a weekend with you as your sub/slave/little girl.
(and by the way if all he comes up with is play I would consider that an issue)
Describe your expectations.

What ritual or protocol in your last relationship had the most value to you? why?

If I am stressed out and find it difficult to have the correct headspace during a planned evening what will your reaction be?

If I need to cancel to be with my mom/child/job how will you react?

If I am upset/angry/sad and need to talk how do I approach you?

If I am outright PISSED at you how do I approach you? (this is important)

What's the longest relationship you've been in, and describe it.

What is your relationship with your family like (especially his mother).

What are your goals (can be anything from d/s wise to life wise).

Do you need this dynamic and why?

If we have kids or have kids collectively (from past relationships) how do you see that working?

What's your biggest fantasy?

What fetishes do you have?

Do you like to micromanage or are you more relaxed in your approach (what's your style).

How do you view submissives and what does submission mean to you (the answer to this would probably tell me most of what I need to know).

Is the idea of "punishment" important to you? If so, is it simply a part of play, or is it discipline and how will I know the difference?

Is it important to you that I have a career?

Do you believe that both members of a household need to have a career or do you think you would like to support/be supported by the other?

What does "service" mean to you?

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  • 7 years later...

wow, these are amazing questions! id love something like this for the sub to answer too. very important to know! Thank you!

 

A friend of mine on fetlife gave me these questions suggestions

 

*How many s-types have you been with?

*What relationship dynamic are you looking for?

Why did your last relationship end?

If you are involved in your local community how did you handle your break up there?

Why did you enter M/s D/s relationships?

Describe yourself as a Dom/Master/Daddy

Describe a weekend with you as your sub/slave/little girl.
(and by the way if all he comes up with is play I would consider that an issue)
Describe your expectations.

What ritual or protocol in your last relationship had the most value to you? why?

If I am stressed out and find it difficult to have the correct headspace during a planned evening what will your reaction be?

If I need to cancel to be with my mom/child/job how will you react?

If I am upset/angry/sad and need to talk how do I approach you?

If I am outright PISSED at you how do I approach you? (this is important)

What's the longest relationship you've been in, and describe it.

What is your relationship with your family like (especially his mother).

What are your goals (can be anything from d/s wise to life wise).

Do you need this dynamic and why?

If we have kids or have kids collectively (from past relationships) how do you see that working?

What's your biggest fantasy?

What fetishes do you have?

Do you like to micromanage or are you more relaxed in your approach (what's your style).

How do you view submissives and what does submission mean to you (the answer to this would probably tell me most of what I need to know).

Is the idea of "punishment" important to you? If so, is it simply a part of play, or is it discipline and how will I know the difference?

Is it important to you that I have a career?

Do you believe that both members of a household need to have a career or do you think you would like to support/be supported by the other?

What does "service" mean to you?

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