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Dating advice: brat trust/time?


anguish

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I am falling for a woman I am dating who is a little but has NOT said it aloud, so I only figured it out last night. She used babytalk all night. Anyway, we have only been talking for two weeks. We only went on one date and she is seemingly too shy to go out again soon, preferring her room for coloring and playing with her stuffies than spending time as a big with me.

 

I've never been in a DD relationship but as a male nurse and am really good with children, this is in within my toolset. How do I approach dating someone who barely leaves littlespace?

 

Everyone posts to be patient and let her warm up to me, but how long might this take? she is keeping me at such a distance it reminds me of when my exwife was cheating, so it triggers me. I don't want to say that to her because it will guilt her into letting her guards down.

 

Ahh, advice?

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Have to ask, why are you trying so hard to get with someone that isn't showing much interest? That's nothing to do with being an LG, that to me is simply a sign she's not really into you
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Have to ask, why are you trying so hard to get with someone that isn't showing much interest? That's nothing to do with being an LG, that to me is simply a sign she's not really into you

It's not that, she has already said she loves me once. I wrote and erased my post a few times today and left that out. She has bad social anxiety and warned me she needs to take it slow. But a week later she said she loved me so my feelings became stronger.

 

We talk often but it's about animals stuffies music snacks now on her end. It started as more traditional, about our lives.

 

We spend a few hours at night talking but it devolves into what I'd call babytalk. A bit of pouting and neediness. In a childish voice.

Edited by Tortoisehell
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You love each other after two weeks, and you've only met once? I'm struggling a lot with that. At that point it's only a word, not actual, real love. Not sure what to tell you, to be honest.
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Then let me help you.

 

I did not say we were in love. I said she said 'I love you' and it triggered romantic feelings in me. I did not say she meant it in that way. It's my feelings only I speak for here.

 

I asked several questions you aren't answering that have nothing to do with what you want to know.

 

The one I want to know most is

 

How long should one expect it to be until eentering a comfort zone of an abused sub personality?

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As long as it takes is the best answer I can give you. Everyone is different, you can't put a date on that or set a time limit. What's for sure is that you need to be consistent and work hard on earning her trust and let her take her time. Be supportive but not pushy. It's probably not going happen tomorrow or next week or next month or it might even take several months until she's comfortable. Edited by Prat(Praetorian)
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As long as it takes is the best answer I can give you. Everyone is different, you can't put a date on that or set a time limit. What's for sure is that you need to be consistent and work hard on earning her trust and let her take her time. Be supportive but not pushy. It might not happen tomorrow or next week or next month or it might even take several months until she's comfortable.

Alright. Thank you.

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Yeah it's really hard to say. Sometimes it doesn't take long at all, and sometimes it takes weeks or months. All you can do is be there for her and allow her to set the pace since she is the one overcoming the abuse issues. I know you said it triggers you bc of your exwifes habits, but try to remember she isn't your ex. She has her own difficulties to overcome. It may not work if you can't be patient or if you can't handle the arms length kind of distance she needs right now, and that's okay too. 

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