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Would it offend you?


Guest ♥ Lee ♥

  

29 members have voted

  1. 1. Is the being called Daddy/Mommy a stipulation?

    • I have to be called Daddy/Mommy
      1
    • I don't care if I have an alternative name
      28


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Guest ♥ Lee ♥

I'm in a polyamorous relationship. I've been thinking about getting a second caregiver. I have a Daddy that I love very much and he will always be my Daddy but, his situation makes it really difficult for him to give me much attention let alone helping me get into little space at the moment. But I don't want to have two people that I call Daddy because the word means a lot to me and it's already got an owner. 

 

Would it offend you if someone wanted you to be their caregiver but couldn't call you Daddy? Like is being called Daddy part of the reason you want to be a Daddy and not being called Daddy would be a deal breaker?

 

(This would also apply if I had a Mommy but I currently don't.)

 

Sorry if this is confusing lol

Edited by ♥ Lee ♥
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Guest Mr.Stuffykins

In this case it comes down to what type of relationship you are willing to have with this other guy. If its platonic then I dont see why it would be offensive. However, if you want him to be romantically, emotionally, and sexually invested then I would find it difficult to maintain committed to someone that does not call me daddy, sir, master etc. 

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Guest Sillylittlemouse
I don't think it should matter what you call someone as long as you care about them and show it! Everyone has different names for their partner(s). Some littles may even call a mommy or daddy a pet name!
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Guest ♥ Lee ♥

In this case it comes down to what type of relationship you are willing to have with this other guy. If its platonic then I dont see why it would be offensive. However, if you want him to be romantically, emotionally, and sexually invested then I would find it difficult to maintain committed to someone that does not call me daddy, sir, master etc. 

He could be called anything but Daddy. Sir, Master or any other domly name would be fine. It's just calling someone Daddy couldn't do.

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Guest Mr.Stuffykins

He could be called anything but Daddy. Sir, Master or any other domly name would be fine. It's just calling someone Daddy couldn't do.

Then it's fine! Because i wouldn't really consider myself your daddy - id be a caregiver or baby sitter. The term daddy should be reserved for the one you are committed to in every sense of the word.

 

So in layman's terms:

No, I would not find it offensive nor would I consider it a deal breaker.

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As I was typing, I actually had to stop, think a bit more, and erase what I had written.

 

What I'm curious about, if your Daddy isn't able to do what a Daddy normally does, but this other guy IS able to do Daddy things, should you not refer to that person as Daddy? I know it can be hard to change that, but if one person isn't filling the role, and another is, I would think that person who IS filling the role deserves the title. But that's just my opinion. You may need to take a step back with your current Daddy, step outside of the DDlg lifestyle with him, as he isn't able to BE that Daddy that a Little needs.

 

EDIT: But this is just me, and I'm not poly, so it's much harder for me to identify with even the thought of having more than one partner, let alone Little.

Edited by Leo_Ascendent
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Would papa or bear or some other variation of daddy be acceptable for you? Or is that too similar to daddy for you to be okay with using?

 

Overall I think it should be easily accepted by most caregivers

 

Going along these lines, the easy way out of this would to not have a DDlg lifestyle, per say, with this person. You could have a Pet/Owner, Master/Slave, Sir/?? with them. It would be similar in many ways, but just different enough to not make you uncomfortable. 

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Guest ♥ Lee ♥

As I was typing, I actually had to stop, think a bit more, and erase what I had written.

 

What I'm curious about, if your Daddy isn't able to do what a Daddy normally does, but this other guy IS able to do Daddy things, should you not refer to that person as Daddy? I know it can be hard to change that, but if one person isn't filling the role, and another is, I would think that person who IS filling the role deserves the title. But that's just my opinion. You may need to take a step back with your current Daddy, step outside of the DDlg lifestyle with him, as he isn't able to BE that Daddy that a Little needs.

 

EDIT: But this is just me, and I'm not poly, so it's much harder for me to identify with even the thought of having more than one partner, let alone Little.

 

If that person was able to fulfill my needs then yes I would consider having him as my Daddy as a role, but I wouldn't call him Daddy as his nickname. That's all I'm saying.

 

 

Would papa or bear or some other variation of daddy be acceptable for you? Or is that too similar to daddy for you to be okay with using?

 

Overall I think it should be easily accepted by most caregivers

 

Yeah, any variation of daddy would be perfectly fine. It's just that specific name/title I have given to him and I wouldn't want to make it less special by giving it to someone else and vice versa.

 

Going along these lines, the easy way out of this would to not have a DDlg lifestyle, per say, with this person. You could have a Pet/Owner, Master/Slave, Sir/?? with them. It would be similar in many ways, but just different enough to not make you uncomfortable. 

 

That would be great if that was the dynamic I was looking for but I really just need someone to help care for me and look after me. I need the caregiver/little dynamic.

Edited by ♥ Lee ♥
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If that person was able to fulfill my needs then yes I would consider having him as my Daddy as a role, but I wouldn't call him Daddy as his nickname. That's all I'm saying.

 

Well personally, if I were someone's Daddy, but they refused to address me as such, and saved said name for someone who isn't fulfilling that role, yeah, I'd probably feel some sort of way. But that's just me. I guess it would come down to the other person really, that would be the suggestion I would give, is if/when you find a second partner, just ask them the same thing you asked here. Our opinions/thoughts won't amount to much in the end, it'll be the other persons.

 

I hope for the best, however!!!!

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Guest Volkmane1985

For me it doesn't matter what I'm called, I think that's partly why we're a Daddy/Caregiver (or insert name Little has for her DD/CG).

 

Also as I'm a guy who is only interested in a monogamous relationship, I wouldn't want to be with/find a Little who had someone else.

 

However that doesn't mean people shouldn't do what they want to do :)

Edited by Volkmane1985
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  • 1 month later...
Guest Andyy95

Well it really depends on the person ... Poly relationships can be very fulfilling , but there's always the ''balance scale'' in ppl's minds ... With a lot of ppl it'd be hard, cause As much as u'd explain it to a potential daddy, all he'd see it as is him being #2 and never really being on the same level in your heart as your current caregiver. But ofcourse that all depends on the individual and with what kind of mindset a dd approaches a poly relationship.

 

It's very common for a someone who is monogomous to try a poly relationship just cause he really likes a person ... The way I see it that's just selfish and inconsiderate, but not gonna get into that. 

If on the other hand the dom is experianced in poly relationships and is very comfortable with such commitment , than it shouldn't be an issue at all.

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I honestly couldn't care less what I'm called. The reason I'm in this scene is that by definition, these relationships are on a much deeper level than with the average other person, which I crave. I love that balance of general enthusiasm, openness, roughness, and genuine love/care. That bond is primary, and as long as I feel that, I'm entirely satisfied.

 

Sometimes I feel like people care too much about defining their relationship, especially because the reality is we all have slightly different images of what certain definitions entail. The BDSM world has about a million sub-cultures, DDLG one of them, and we can see how ambiguous it is from the fact that no two relationships within the sub-culture seem to be alike. The only meaningful distinction to me is taking the role of Dom/Sub, as they are different/descriptive enough to be meaningful. The rest is just two people finding each other, hopefully able to satisfy each other's unique demands/wishes, working at making it work like any other relationship.

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Might be easiest if you find a Mommy ^_^

Nah, I'm kidding. It really only depends on the person and how things are communicated.

Good luck finding someone special. ❤

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