Jump to content
DDlg Forum & Community Spring is Here !

I Don't Know What To Do


Guest greenhoney

Recommended Posts

Guest greenhoney

My Daddy and I have been having problems due to our long distance relationship. We live in the same city, but due to my situation with my parents I can barely see him. i talk to him through IM on skype (no calls or anything) and that's pretty much it. 

 

Last night, I tried to come to a compromise with him. Instead of trying to demand things, I wanted to come to an agreement for the time being. He asked what I wanted and i said some time every day or every other day where we have cuddly talks and stuff. He said he didn't know if he could do it, and I asked him to just try. I was completely willing to do or listen to whatever he wanted, but he got upset. We've had fights about this in the past, where he just insists he can't do it, or that it takes too much effort. He started getting mad at me, typing in all caps, he called me a bitch etc. 

 

Long story short; he refuses to compromise. He says he can't do it. 

 

i'm heart broken, honestly. It'll be a while before we can really start seeing each other and eventually move in together. I try to tell him we have to make the best of what we have, but he insists. 

 

Has anyone ever dealt with this before? How did you get through it? 

Edited by greenhoney
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wait wait wait.... you want to move in with him even though he can't even chat with you? In my opinion it doesn't sound like he wants to make any effort for you and the relationship is probably not going to work out. That has been my experience anyway. It is rediculous that he called you a bitch because you are asking for some affection via chat...

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you honestly thinking of living with someone that you are so incompatible and unhappy with? Please think more clearly about the situation. He is not what you want. He is making it loud and clear. "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS" . He just isn't right for you. Long distance or in the same room, it's no different. If your relationship doesn't work over calls and messages, do you seriously expect it to work in the same house every single day?
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest greenhoney

he says he can do it irl, and there have been times where he's proved it. we've been together for nearly two years, and we talk consistently pretty much every day. but when it comes to being mushy and affectionate online, he just insists he can't do it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with the other responses, please be glad you got the early warning .... this is not the right daddy for you at all.  Learn from this, stay safe, don't compromise yourself. While I can understand frustration at not being able to see or hear you, it is not okay that he yelled at you like that - not okay at all.  

Edited by DaddySweetDaddy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another issue with this is that you do seem to be trying to turn him into something he clearly isn't. If you are constantly trying to get him to do things, which it seems you are, does that honestly feel ok to you? Is that a good relationship to you? You only seem to be talking about compromise that you want him to make. Why not compromise yourself by not pressuring him into forcing affection from him when he's not comfortable with it online? Sounds like he's just not someone who can do that, and your consistent badgering is making him angry, which makes it even less likely.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest NewYorkDaddy

My Daddy and I have been having problems due to our long distance relationship. We live in the same city, but due to my situation with my parents I can barely see him. i talk to him through IM on skype (no calls or anything) and that's pretty much it. 

 

Last night, I tried to come to a compromise with him. Instead of trying to demand things, I wanted to come to an agreement for the time being. He asked what I wanted and i said some time every day or every other day where we have cuddly talks and stuff. He said he didn't know if he could do it, and I asked him to just try. I was completely willing to do or listen to whatever he wanted, but he got upset. We've had fights about this in the past, where he just insists he can't do it, or that it takes too much effort. He started getting mad at me, typing in all caps, he called me a bitch etc. 

 

Long story short; he refuses to compromise. He says he can't do it. 

 

i'm heart broken, honestly. It'll be a while before we can really start seeing each other and eventually move in together. I try to tell him we have to make the best of what we have, but he insists. 

 

Has anyone ever dealt with this before? How did you get through it? 

Any reason why you can't use public transportation to meet? I understand maybe chilling at your house would be difficult but are dates out of the question?

 

What's his schedule like? What is yours like?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went through something similar to this. I dated a fantastic guy who was always busy due to a good job. He made alot of effort at first then he just 'couldn't' see me, text me or give a shit about me. He totally used me and I gave him 2 chances. The 3rd time I deleted his number and blocked him and it hurt like hell. Still does. I truly thought I was secure and he destroyed me with excuses and then silence. He didn't have the guts to tell me it was over.

The moral of it is. If someone is showing you their true colours believe it.

 

And name calling etc is a giant red flag. Do your self a favour and walk away. Its not about schedules or anything its about effort and respect. And hes giving showing you he cant give you either.

You will be amazed after a few weeks how much happier you will be away from his excuses. Your simply worth more then this.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just sounds like DDLG is a passing thing for him. He doesn't want to do anything that requires effort, or would require him to do anything or show effort. Like everyone else is saying, sounds like it's a no good situtation, and you should find someone who wants to make time for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You live in the same city but you can't find any time to meet up, even in a public place for an hour or so? :/

 

You have to think about what you really want and need. You shouldn't have to push him for small things, and you really shouldn't try make him into something he's not. If he's not into talking like that over text then he's not into it and you can't force him.

 

If you can't see him, and he need a relationship irl, then it's not going to work. And if he can't text like you need, then it's also not going to work. I'm sorry, but I just can't see this working out in the long run. You need to think about if this is what you really want. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey greenhoney.... 

I have been through this... i even have a post about what happened at the end of our relationship...

 

A person who refuses to hear you out and says that someone is "too much" to even ask for, will find many other things in the future to invalidate you. 

 

Things got way worse for me, to the point where I'm in counselling for it. So please take a step back and access if theres any other things he's told you he can't do or won't do for you, even when the are completely reasonable requests. Things like quality time are NOT unreasonable for you to as for. You deserve it, without even having to ask for it. 

 

I won't tell you to run or to stay, thats for you to decide. But remember that emotional and mental abuse are very real. 

 

If you tell him how he makes you feel, and it becomes what you did wrong, and you walk away feeling guilty and invalidated ... it abuse. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A daddy who can't compromise is not a mature person. So how on earth can theY then care for someone. To not even try either. That's pathetic. Sorry for the rant.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You deserve better! You should NOT settle for measly heart crumbs. Online vs in person does not matter...A good person DOES NOT treat a person they love that way just because of the communication medium. Edited by boomslang
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Distance doesn't matter. If it's meant to be a serious relationship you have to be there even when you are a thousand kms apart.

Sorry, but distance absolutely CAN matter. If it is important to someone, then yes it matters. Like me. Sure, if something happened that took my Daddy and i thousands of miles apart, i would stay with Him. But I would know for certain that we would do all we could to get together again as soon as possible. We could not survive long distance. If it works for you, great, but it absolutely doesn't work for everyone.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...