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WHY do you want to tell your friends about your little side?


tiemeupwithyourlove
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I bet you've seen the topics (not pointing out anyone in special) and now my question is why you would want to tell someone? 

 

I feel uncomfortable telling someone who didn't ask because it'd feel like shoving down my sex life in other people's throats, but then my Daddy is totally open with it and wouldn't hesitate to tell the cashier if she asked who the children books were for. (Been there, done that.) 

 

How do you feel? Would you tell your friends and why? 

 

(Edit: DD/LG is of course much more than just sex.) 

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I'd like to tell my friends because it'd avoid a lot of hurt feelings if they knew that when I'm acting little, I'm not just being a derphead it's something I often can't control which is a part of my personality

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There's a bit about this is When Someone You Love Is Kinky. They use the analogy of talking to someone who can't know that you're married. It's difficult to have a conversation sometimes. If you find that it doesn't come up organically and you don't find yourself biting your tongue time and again, then, you know, it probably isn't important for the person to know. But I can't imagine having a friend who didn't know this about me, which is why I don't have those types of friends. It does make it difficult to talk to certain acquaintances and I know that they'll never become real friends because we couldn't really talk about my life in the kink community.

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I've told a few people and all of them are my closest friends. My DDlg relationships is way beyond the bed room though so I would feel very uncomfortable not being able to confined in them. 

If it was just sex I wouldn't feel the need to tell people. Since that's not the case and he is my 24/7 Dom it makes certain people knowing a little more necessary. 

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At the moment I only have a friend in real life that knows about my DDLG relationship, and thats only because shes into bdsm herself and we wanted to go to a play party and she was asking me what kind of dynamic I like, and I brought up DD/lg.

 

I think in most cases its not something that needs to be shared. I think some people just want to be open and honest. I think thats fine, but i think people also do need to look at it in a more realistic way. :3  

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I'd like my close friends to know...I'd be able to talk more openly about my relationship, and I could be in littlespace around them without having to hide that facet of my personality.

Oddly, my best friend does know about my D/s relationship, but not the DDlg part. Somehow, the darker sexual stuff is more acceptable than the Caregiver/little dynamic, something I'll never understand!

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Guest Pouty Kitten

I want to tell my friends about my lifestyle because I want them to know how important it is to me. If I'm practicing DDlg 24/7 then it's a huge part of my life and I feel like I'd be hiding something from them. It's also a good way to weed out people that aren't accepting of my dynamic. I don't share my sex life with them (unless asked, of course).

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  • 4 months later...

I have a sad tale to tell and a warning to others. I told my best friend and at first she accepted it. she would even help me find my pacis when I had lost them. Then I don't know what exactly changed but she basically told me I was a freak and a peodofile and it cut so so deep. we are still friends but not nearly as close as we used to be. I hate it. It hurts and honestly I regret telling her and letting her in.

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I tell them just so they understand why I act the way I do. Sometimes, a lot of my friends are always wondering. For me, this is more than just sex, it's a way of life. I'm usually always in little space. I love it so much. I mean, I don't go telling everyone about my sex life and the why I act the way I act but I usually tell my close friends or the people who I see a lot and trust. Also I called my Daddy...well Daddy...several times in get together's with friends so a lot of my friends know I'm a little. I have like two or three friends who are actually into this too and I'm very happy. 

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Guest MyDaddyMyWorld
I feel no need to talk about the specific details of my relationship, but that would be true if it were more "vanilla " if someone asked I would tell them. If they showed no interest, I wouldn't see any reason to .
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I've just recently told my best friend. she knew I was into bdsm and had a daddy kink. she would joke with me about it.

It also helped that she's a very accepting/non judgmental person anyways.

But she had a lot of questions about it. And I was happy to answer them because it meant that she wanted to know more about it and learn.

I think its important to have someone in my real life know. I will be meeting my daddy for the first time either this weekend or next. And I'm surely not going to tell my (actual) dad that I'm hanging out with. So that way, if anything bad happened (not that I think it will) someone actually knows where I am.

I also like having someone there that I can just talk to and be open about. She's the only one who knows I have a daddy. Everyone else thinks I'm single and have given up.

Although sometimes she'll make fun of me, but I know its not in a judgmental way.

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Guest FizzyPop

I don't feel that there is a 'need' to share this with just anyone. If you trust someone and want to tell them or they ask, I understand that. Then again to each their own. I have told a few close male friends I would trust with my life, they haven't judged me. Other than that, I choose to keep it to myself. I have seen online on forums and on blogs over time both Daddies and littles get ridiculed for their dynamic. I know people hear the title and instantly judge what they don't understand-as a lot of people in today's world seem to do on various topics. It's up to each person to choose how open they want to be with it.. and not to expect everyone to accept it with open arms. I am known as a 'kid-at-heart' by mostly everyone who knows me. I am okay with people who know me well, thinking just that about me :)

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I personally don't feel a need to tell anyone however I did want people to talk to. I would never tell my friends that I know in real life but instead I told my internet friends, ever since I met ever single one of them I knew that I could tell them anything and so I told them this. Now not everyone is going to take this and be like "Oh cool!" so it's up to that person to decide who they WANT to share it with...no one needs to know what you do, I think.

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To me the reason why I talk to some of my friends about my little side and why I have a caregiver is I just tired of holding in what for me at least is the major side of my life and thankfully most of mine themselves are little so it means we can organize things like get together and also we can look out for each other as having similar 'child-like' traits it's not hard for people to try to advantage of you so at least that way if one of us spots a potential problem, they can alert you before anything happens.

It's about caring for each other.

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