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Relationship Help?


LittleGreenGirl
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Before I get into this, I would like to say that I love my daddy. More than anything, honestly. We've known each other since 2012, dating since 2013, and married since earlier this year. But I need advice, and I'm wondering if I'm overreacting. 
 
My daddy role-plays, sexually, with his close girl-friend. 
 
We live together, and watching him text away while he's next to me really bothers me. I've tried to ask if he has any feelings for her, but he denies it and says, "She's like a sister to me."
Another thing is that he can get pleasure from what he's doing, while also giving her pleasure. And they are open about it. I looked over his shoulder when he was RPing [note: I know I shouldn't have done it, but, I'm nosy and he won't tell me anything], and she was telling him that she's "sorry for being horny" because she's ovulating? Then daddy goes on to say, "we can keep up the RP if you want", and watched as he asked to make it slightly more sexual.
Because of being paranoid, I took his phone while he was sleeping just to see if he was cheating. [note again: I know this was a stupid thing to do, and it could cost me his trust, but I was so terrified he was trying to cheat on me]. She and daddy were talking about a foursome that involves them, me, and her significant other.

I wouldn't be so upset if he just told me these things. This morning I asked him about it, and he quickly defended himself by saying he always tries to back out of it whenever she brings it up. But, he was talking to her about it as much as she talked about it. Telling her, he can "work me up to not be so shy" so I can have the foursome with them. 
I would never be bothered if he said he wanted an open relationship, or anything else. But, he never talks about it. He just likes to fantasize with his girl-friend. It kills me when he doesn't tell me anything. It's like we're slowly drifting apart, and I can't do anything. It's ripping me to pieces.

Am I overreacting to this? I honestly feel like I'm overreacting, because everybody RPs and stuff, but when they make comments about foursomes and stuff like that, it scares me. I just want him all to myself. We literally just got married in June.
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you are completely valid in your feelings. if neither of you has ever talked about being in an open relationship or anything else like that then this behavior isn't fair to you. Showing affection for someone else even in just a roleplay sexual way is kind of rude especially if he does it when he's with you.. i dont have any advice to give but if i were in your position i would be furious and hurt. im sorry :( you guys are married though and that means commitment of the highest level i think you should have a serious talk about it. 

:heart:

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Guest pacibrat

No, everybody does not role play sexually with their friends.  I don't. Never have, never will.  A friend is a friend and if someone is talking like those two are, that seems more like flirting.  I really don't have any good advice to give.  You just have to decide how much you're comfortable with and willing to tolerate.  It doesn't sound like he's going to stop this anytime soon even though he KNOWS you're uncomfortable.   You should be his first priority.

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Guest PianoPlayer

You say you got recently married. Unless he spoke to you about foursomes or a poly/open relationship before marriage, then be blunt with him and remind me that the vows you took were between him and you, and no one else. 

I would guess for most monogamous couples, random RP with anyone else would be considered cheating. You are definitely not overreacting

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I consider the thing cheating if anyone RPs sexually with somebody else rather than their significant other. I would go crazy if this happened to me you are absolutely not not not overreacting. He should tell you everything because hiding only makes the situation worse and makes you sad. He should have known this. I would tell him that I don't want him to talk to that "girl-friend" if he continues to talk to her that way. I'm so irritated sorry if my words fail.
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Guest cupcakechua

that is cheating he is just very flirty and horny that's why i want to be fully knowing the person first before i get hurt its just my opinion.

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This confused me a bit, but I can also relate how it may feel for you if you guys were exclusive and had a monogamous relationship. From your own words, you said you would never be bothered with it if he wanted an open relationship. I would suggest to have a talk about whether or not opening up your relationship, if he doesn't want it, set some ground rules, because that wouldn't be fair towards you. This seems to me the simplest solution. I do wish for you that everything works out though.

 

I also wanted to add towards that misconception of yours, that not everyone RPs and this is considered cheating in a monogamous relationship.

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Sorry but yeah, he's already cheating. Hate to be so blunt, but there's no pretty way of saying it. He's cheating on you, and it's all the more disgusting in my opinion, that he's doing it so happily right in front of you.
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Guest Urthurs

All men have a craving to have sex with other, especially attractive, women. However, the men who has respect for and you know actually cares about their partner ignores it. RPing and and flirting with their girl-friends is not something everyone does...
He has 0 respect for you. You seem very passive. He's doing it because he can get away with it. Sounds like he takes you for a fool even. A foursome would only be an excuse so they can fuck eachother.

Edited by Urthurs
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Update

I've talked to him about it, and he went through his messages one by one with me. He explained everything very thoroughly, and even showed older messages where he's denied her ideas of sexual advances and such. 
Though, he won't stop talking or RPing with her because he's known her for a very long time. Like, I've known him for 15 minutes compared to her. I won't deny him any kind of friendship, but I will be demanding he stop anything sexual. 

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