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Concerns about a new DDlg relationship


princessfreckles
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A friend of mine who is very new to DDlg has made it clear that he wants to be my Daddy. I want to make it official because we have so much in common. However, I have some reservations.

 

1) My last Daddy ghosted me about 6 weeks after meeting in person. How do I know that we're not moving to fast?

 

2) While he's done some research on his own, and joined a kik group with some people more experienced in the lifestyle (I'm also in the group), but I'm afraid that it's more than he can handle. What if he loses interest or decides it's not for him?

 

3) I could see myself really falling for him, and I've never fallen for anyone before because I've ever had the chance to fall. No one has wanted me. Ever. What if he decides he's no longer interested in me? *I've never had a real relationship. Like a boyfriend. This is all very new to me* 

 

I appreciate any advice and encouraging words. 

 

 

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Why don't you guys just take it slow then? No one's saying you gotta jump into all the big DDLG things at once! 

 

Ease him into it so that if there's something that isn't for him, he can identify it and let you know instead of throwing in the towel all together. If you throw 17 little things at him at once, if there's something he doesn't like, it might turn him off on DDLG all together. 

 

I really think if you guys take your time exploring it together, I think you'll have a better shot. 

 

Try scheduling Daddy-Little dates instead of trying to integrate it into your whole lives. Show him things like pacis, bottles, outfits, etc., that you like and see how he feels about them or if there's something that he'd like to bring in. 

 

Communication, boundaries, and respect are super key here. 

Edited by meows senpai
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Guest Georgia-Daddy2
What if he's completely up to being a daddy forever? What if you're everything he's ever wanted? What if he's the forever daddy you want? Saying what if can be good or bad but you never know until you try.
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Why don't you guys just take it slow then? No one's saying you gotta jump into all the big DDLG things at once! 

 

Ease him into it so that if there's something that isn't for him, he can identify it and let you know instead of throwing in the towel all together. If you throw 17 little things at him at once, if there's something he doesn't like, it might turn him off on DDLG all together. 

 

I really think if you guys take your time exploring it together, I think you'll have a better shot. 

 

Try scheduling Daddy-Little dates instead of trying to integrate it into your whole lives. Show him things like pacis, bottles, outfits, etc., that you like and see how he feels about them or if there's something that he'd like to bring in. 

 

Communication, boundaries, and respect are super key here. 

I've shown him my middle stuff. Outfits, skirts, knee highs, stuffies, etc. He actually loves all of that. Sadly he's long distance so we can't do dates irl. However, he does seem to be invested in me as a little because he asks questions and does send me pictures of stuffies he sees at the store when he's out and about. I told him about me as a little about a month or so ago, and we've talked about it more and more since then. So, I'm not throwing it all at him, at least I don't think so. Sorry I didn't explain it better. I'm not too great at posting my own topics in forums. 

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I've shown him my middle stuff. Outfits, skirts, knee highs, stuffies, etc. He actually loves all of that. Sadly he's long distance so we can't do dates irl. However, he does seem to be invested in me as a little because he asks questions and does send me pictures of stuffies he sees at the store when he's out and about. I told him about me as a little about a month or so ago, and we've talked about it more and more since then. So, I'm not throwing it all at him, at least I don't think so. Sorry I didn't explain it better. I'm not too great at posting my own topics in forums. 

 

Oh no, your explanation is fine!

Glad to hear you guys are communicating well. 

Hmm me and a LD girlfriend would schedule movie/anime dates where we'd sit on skype and message back and forth while we watched something. Maybe you guys could try that? Or you could try skype playdates? hmm I respect LD DDLG relationships a lot. It must be really tough. D: 

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Guest PianoPlayer

1) My last Daddy ghosted me about 6 weeks after meeting in person. How do I know that we're not moving to fast?

 

2) While he's done some research on his own, and joined a kik group with some people more experienced in the lifestyle (I'm also in the group), but I'm afraid that it's more than he can handle. What if he loses interest or decides it's not for him?

 

3) I could see myself really falling for him, and I've never fallen for anyone before because I've ever had the chance to fall. No one has wanted me. Ever. What if he decides he's no longer interested in me? *I've never had a real relationship. Like a boyfriend. This is all very new to me* 

1. If you're moving too fast you're going to feel uncomfortable. The type of discomfort which tells you 'he's pushing me' rather than 'I'm happy with how things are developing between us' 

 

2. Well there is always a possibility someone could lose interest. In any relationship you trust the person to do certain things, and in a ddlg relationship you trust that the person has a firm desire to be a daddy or little

 

3. Similar to what I just said, it's possible that someone can lose interest in a relationship. Life is full of risks though, and if you never take a chance you'll be safe but probably have a somewhat unfulfilled life

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I've always wondered about a trial run with things. Like caregiver bootcamp. Is that a thing? Like hey lets try this for 60 days amd on day 60 we will compare notes honestly and see if it's something that should continue. Obviously, there would be some very specific rules in place for both parties but maybe an idea?
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There are no guarantees in life but there are things you can do to minimize the heart ache. My advice is to take it slow and make this man earn every thing you give him with his actions. talk is cheap. If he really cares about you and your heart he will understand. remember your feelings matter as much as his do

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First of all, never compare present or future partners with previous ones. Also, stop putting so many "what if's " in the way.

Take it slow. Get to know him. Don't look too far into the future, and don't look for problems before they present themselves.

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I've always wondered about a trial run with things. Like caregiver bootcamp. Is that a thing? Like hey lets try this for 60 days amd on day 60 we will compare notes honestly and see if it's something that should continue. Obviously, there would be some very specific rules in place for both parties but maybe an idea?

That's what my Daddy & I did and we're just about to hit 4 years. :)
Mind you, our situation was different because we were already together long before we ever found out about DD/LG, but the 60-day trial was still extraordinarily helpful for us.
 
Princessfreckles, the best advice I can give to you take your time. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is any good relationship.
Also, giving your heart the chance to fall is one of the scariest things you will ever do; but when the right arms are able to catch you, it will be worth every bit of pain and discomfort. Remember, hun - you are worth it <3   
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Guest pacibrat

Life is about taking chances.  If we guard out heart with a huge lock and keep everyone out because we've been hurt before, we'll never find the right one.  I completely get it though.  It's easy to say, I'll never try again because I might get hurt.  Still, we all deserve the love that we need in our life.  I'd take it slow and give him a chance. I wish you two the best. :)

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Just feel it out. The speed at which you proceed is deeply individual, so the only two people that matter is you and the person you're interested in. If you're both honest with yourselves and each other, and you're both comfortable, then that's exactly the right speed you should be going at.

 

1) One person isn't the other. It sucks that this happened, but I don't think the speed mattered to the end result.

 

2 & 3) That's always a possibility, but isn't that the risk for any relationship? Essentially "what if the person I like changes?" - No one knows, not even the person you're interested in.

 

The future is uncertain, but never taking action because of the fear you *may* get hurt will leave you worse off than trying everything with a decent chance of success. When it's not life-threatening, especially when it's social/emotional, don't be afraid to fail. Mood has this tendency to be relative, so even people with objectively bad lives have good days, and people with great lives have plenty of bad days. Living in fear of bad days will not prevent them, and will just ruin your good days on top of that. Just accept both sides of the coin and take risks.

 

Also, mind you, he has to worry about the same things with you. What if you get bored with him? Since it's your first relationship, what if you later find out you desire a different kind of relationship and leave him? The best thing you can do is giving it an honest shot. The rest, future will tell. But I can guarantee that no matter what happens, you'll feel better for at least having tried, than if you let fear paralyse you into never committing to any relationship, ever.

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