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When does being little turn into a chore?


Guest Sae
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This is a question for littles or Caregivers.  :3 I just thought I would ask to see what people thought are on this topic.  I guess also just as a good place for other people to even just come and read later one. I have my own opinions and I'll post them in a second to each question. 

Also for other users who are middles like me, just talk about your middle space compared to your little space. :3 

 

Do you ever feel like getting into little space is a chore? Like you need to otherwise you aren't a little? How does it make you feel?

Do you think there's a point when little space and being a little causes more tension for a relationship compare to happy goodness?  

Do you think there is a time to be a little, and time to not be?

When does little space become too much? 

Do you feel like sometimes littles use little space as a way to leave all their adult responsibilities? 

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Personally, I wouldn't say that I necessarily need to go into little space to feel like a little. I guess I just always feel like one, regardless of if I'm actually in little space or not. It's just always something that is in the back of my mind. Sometimes when I go into little space I can feel super duper mega awesome little-tastic, and even the slightest most minor things can make me feel even more like a little  :)  Other times, I only partially go into it and am not quite in touch with it  :( 


 


I know that sometimes being a little can cause tension in a relationship, like for example when ghosty (my daddy for those who don't know) is working and I keep bugging him about random things. That can sometimes cause tension, but I've been trying to get better about respecting that he needs to work. I try to stay focused on something else so he can focus on work. However, I will say what causes tension depends largely on the people in the dynamic. Obviously, what works between him and I might not work between other people.


 


I totally think there's good times to be a little and bad times to be one. Although, I will say that I think about it more in terms of how I let the little inside of me come out. Obviously when I'm home with no responsibility it's a great time to be a little, …and of course other times like when I'm at say a doctor's office it's probably not a good time to bring out my little self. It's not always easy to direct it one way or the other though. Sometimes it's hard to prevent entering little space, and other times its hard to enter little space.


 


As far as using little space as a way to leave your adult responsibilities? I know some people do use it as a way to escape those responsibilities, but I try my hardest to still maintain any responsibility that is necessary. It's not always easy, and I am guilty of doing it from time to time, but I like to think that I try my hardest not to. I guess I like to think of little space sometimes being a way to cope with the stress of adult responsibilities, but not really as a way to avoid them. I think that using it to avoid responsibilities would of course be irresponsible.  


 


Despite all of that, I can't say being a little has ever become too much for me. I know for some people it can be difficult to balance their little space with the rest of their adult responsibilities. I think that knowing how to balance the little side and adult side of yourself is very important aspect of being a little.


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Guest Rainbow

great prompt Sae! this is feeling pretty close today..

 

Do you ever feel like getting into little space is a chore? Like you need to otherwise you aren't a little? How does it make you feel?

no i don't think i ever feel that way. i don't need to force it, it just comes and goes. sometimes it's trouble on the pocketbook.

Do you think there's a point when little space and being a little causes more tension for a relationship compare to happy goodness?  

recently i've been able to really let go and be little more and so it's made it harder for me to take care of big girl responsibilities, and that puts me in a bad mood and i feel bad that daddy has to deal with that. he's so strong and takes care of so much, sometimes i feel like he's missing out on an equal partner. of course, he tells me not to think that way.

Do you think there is a time to be a little, and time to not be?

unfortunately, yes. work and school if that's you.. we all have responsibilities. also for me, and probably many out there, being around family and friends who don't know, you have to rein it in at different levels depending on how comfortable you are with them.

When does little space become too much? 

when little space is trying to push out big girl time when life is needing big girl time.

Do you feel like sometimes littles use little space as a way to leave all their adult responsibilities?

i think in general, we probably all are being genuine and just can't help it when tantrums and sensitivities strike. the important part is how we help the situation to the best of our little abilities.

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Do you ever feel like getting into little space is a chore? Like you need to otherwise you aren't a little? How does it make you feel? If getting into little space felt like a chore, I don't think I would be much of a little. Being a little chooses me, I don't choose it. It's a natural extension of my personality that I embrace and moderate based upon what is required of me. I embrace my littleness based upon my needs for that day and my papa bear's behavior. It's never a chore and is generally a private, intimate sphere that I am able to escape into in order to reconnect with my childlike nature and sensitivity. It tends to relax me and give me a sense of peace. For instance, my papa bear has started brushing my hair before bed and that little reminder of being a baby brings me such immense peace and fills me with such tenderness towards both him and myself. Little space is a safe haven where I am able to be the child I never was allowed to be. It is where I am safe, protected, and pure. 


Do you think there's a point when little space and being a little causes more tension for a relationship compare to happy goodness?:  I definitely feel that this is possible but in general, if the dynamic was degenerating to such a level I believe both parties would have to reevaluate their needs for the relationship. If the tension is daily, then one must wonder whether or not being a respective little or papa bear is not a good fit for either individual. I believe that people should not abuse this dynamic so it becomes one in which one individual provides all the care and nurture while the other reaps the benefits. As with any relationship, constant work and effort is required in order to assure your loved one that you respect, love, and appreciate them on a daily basis. Being a baby personally makes me strive all the more to please and make my life run as smoothly as possible for my papa bear's sake. Being a baby makes me happy and I wouldn't be able to be one if it didn't provide my papa bear with the same joy. It is a given that there are many moments when you have to be a big girl whether it's at work, school, or when talking through an issue with your papa bear, but, it's also never forgetting that there's that side of you that requires and thrives upon nurture and unconditional love. I am in need of those two things whether I am little or not, and I therefore require a partner who is able to provide me with such things and more importantly, loves being able to do so. It's the balancing act of one individual who loves to receive love and another who loves to provide it but who are both still able to switch these roles accordingly. If my papa bear, didn't want to be a papa bear, then it would immensely hurt me and tell me that he wasn't willing to accept a part of my personality which is a red flag for any relationship. This dynamic should be a natural extension of your personalities and love for one another and should thus never be considered a burden or tension. It shouldn't be a point for which you belittle one another but rather lavish pride upon because it makes each of you better and happier.  I love papa bear becomes he loves I'm a baby, and I'm a baby because I love my papa bear. 


 


Do you think there is a time to be a little, and time to not be? Of course. I am not little when I'm not with my papa bear. Only he is able to unlock this facet of myself and my papa bear feels similarly. When we are together, I am usually a little but I keep myself in check depending upon the situation and the environment. Obviously, around his parents we will act a bit differently, or when confronting an adult responsibility such as buying a house, etc. I will immediately leave this mode if I feel that there's something between us that needs to be discussed and or addressed or when I become angry (Which is rare). Though when I am sad, my sadness is often little like but I will become the habitual serious me if there are things to thoroughly expand upon between us or a minor issue to work through. Such things obviously require the care, responsibility, and wisdom of full adulthood. Actually, during these times when I'm 'too much' of a big girl papa bear will ask where his baby is and become saddened when her absence is obvious. :p In general, I consider being a little a response to my serious, jaded personality that I acquried after years of unsavory experiences. Thus, that side of me functions through the real world while my special, true, happy side is reserved for my sweetheart. 


 


When does little space become too much? I can only see it as too much if you never embrace your responsibilities or are unable to hold meaningful discussions with your partner that reflect upon your experiences and mistakes. Being a little should not stop you from growing and evolving with your partner but should condition your growth in small ways. I'm a little, but, that doesn't mean I sit around coloring, and playing with barbies all day. I pursue literature, philosophy, psychology, history, I write my sweetheart mature, romantic poems that hint at deep metaphysical and psychological implications, I make decisions, I go to school, and I have a job. Someday soon I will have a career. On the flip side, these things don't mean that I'm wizened and hard. No, I also like to watch Disney movies, cry easily over the slightest hurt, wear bows in my hair, write little colorful notes to put on the fridge for my papa bear, pack his lunch, make baby noises, be undressed, try with all my might to make my papa bear proud and be hugged and kissed all day in that way that only papa bear can provide. 


 


Do you feel like sometimes littles use little space as a way to leave all their adult responsibilities? In a sense. My little space is a reaction to the fact that I didn't have much of a childhood. In fact, for years I sneered at the idea of immaturity and naivete....Actually, I still do. My little space with papa bear is my way of finally realizing that I can be safe, protected, and provided for. As old as I am, I feel the innocence of being a child due to the luxury of being cared for so unconditionally and thoroughly by papa bear. He absorbs my fears, and provides for me in a way that my parents were unable to. So in many ways, my little space is a privilege that only one person encounters. It is me saying that I unconditionally trust and love someone enough to let down a guard that I've had up since I was a child and didn't ever let down around my actual parents. It's reverting to that clean slate and being able to delight in the fact that my life is so much better than it was. It's me recreating myself and my past. Papa bear gives me something I was never able to have and I try my best to thank him for it everyday of my life, for all that he does and is. 


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Do you ever feel like getting into little space is a chore? Like you need to otherwise you aren't a little? How does it make you feel?

I don't think little space has become too much for me. If it did I'd probably question if it's right for my dynamic, I mean if it's no longer feeling natural or a safe space for me, then it may have lost its point. That's just my opinion though. I feel like roles we take on should be natural and make us happy. Of course there are points in one's life, like stress or long periods of depression or other mental illnesses, that make achieving little space tougher. Similarly I can imagine a Daddy or Mommy in those positions to feel overwhelmed by it too.

I agree with ddlgdoodles, I think that if being little begins to feel like a chore, or if you become unwilling to go into little space, then maybe it isn't right for the dynamic anymore and is signalling a shift in the way the relationship works. Personally, being little isn't a chore for me, it's something I enjoy doing because it makes me feel more secure in myself and is something that happens naturally for me. I never set out to go into little space, i just fall into it naturally. Maybe when someone is feeling pressure to be little it isn't actually because there is any outside pressure, but rather that they are putting unnecessary pressure on themselves to be little, so it stops being natural. 

Do you think there's a point when little space and being a little causes more tension for a relationship compare to happy goodness?  

I don't think so; at least, for me, that's never happened. I think that with any relationship there needs to be a degree of give and take - sometimes Bigs need a bit of TLC too! And if one partner, specifically the little in this case, is demanding all of the attention, then I can see it taking a strain on the relationship. I think that it's important to be able to be little by yourself as well as with your Big so that this doesn't happen.

Do you think there is a time to be a little, and time to not be?

I think that it's fine to be little at any time. But, there are degrees of littleness that are acceptable and these depend on who you are with/where you are with. For example, I am usually always little whilst at home with Daddy but if we have a visitor, like Daddy's best friend, then I can get away with being mischievous but I can't talk in my little voice and I can't drink out of my sippy cup. If I want to play with my toys then I go into a different room to do it. Similarly, if I'm around our families then I have to act more like an adult. Also, formal situations such as in a work interview are a no no for being little! A good rule to check if a situation is good to be little in is if you are questioning if it's okay to be little in the situation, then it probably isn't!

When does little space become too much? 

I don't think that it has ever become too much for me and my Daddy. I can only really see it being a problem if you are purposely being little to avoid having any responsibilities - then I think that it might be a signal that something is not right in your relationship and it needs to be looked at and discussed in a mature way. 

Do you feel like sometimes littles use little space as a way to leave all their adult responsibilities? 

Yes; this isn't a problem though, at least I don't think it is. I've just finished my first year of university and am soon going to be moving into a real house where I'll have to pay real bills and I've been aware that I've been going into little space in order to relieve my exam stress and worries about moving. I think that people show and cope with their stress in different ways, and I deal mine by regressing in age. My Daddy, on the other hand, relieves his by working on his computer/riding his skateboard. It just depends on the person, but using little space as a method to cope with stress and to relieve the pressure of responsibilities isn't a problem, it's healthy. It only becomes a problem if you completely avoid your responsibilities instead of dealing with them when you feel more prepared.  

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Sorry I'm late! <3

 

Do you ever feel like getting into little space is a chore? Like you need to otherwise you aren't a little? How does it make you feel? :octo:  <3  No I don't think so.. When I'm around people I like (romantically or not) I kind of always feel like a little. Like most days it seems like my default. But if I'm pissed or anxious or something else like that I tend to act my actual age.. which still isn't very old

 

Do you think there's a point when little space and being a little causes more tension for a relationship compare to happy goodness? :octo:  <3 I haven't had many ddlg relationships (because I was usually afraid to bring it up) but when it has come up definitely. It's okay though because I could see how they could get irritated having to deal with my little self.. Not everyone is cut out to be a good dom

 

Do you think there is a time to be a little, and time to not be? :octo:  <3 Yes! Depending on where you are in public you can sometimes be a little. Also you don't always have to be a little at home and if there is a problem and you and your daddy need to have a serious talk you should try to also be serious and come out of little space for a moment

 

When does little space become too much?  :octo:  <3 Honestly I'm not sure..

 

Do you feel like sometimes littles use little space as a way to leave all their adult responsibilities?  :octo:  <3 Absolutely, but mostly I think its used because that's just who we are. Littles. So we need little space

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Do you ever feel like getting into little space is a chore? Like you need to otherwise you aren't a little? How does it make you feel?

I have depression and I have moments when it is physically and mentally impossible for me to get into little space. Its like I'm stuck in a gap between being myself and being little and I can't reach either of them. It hurts me a lot and makes me feel like crap when I get like that.

Do you think there's a point when little space and being a little causes more tension for a relationship compare to happy goodness?  

As long as both parties are communicating there shouldn't be tension.

Do you think there is a time to be a little, and time to not be?

Yes. The time to be little is when you have taken care of most of your responsibilities as a adult, when you're alone and in a place you deem safe. That's when I go into little space. A time not t go into little space is when you're interviewing for a job, or you're at work, when you're around people who aren't aware of you as a little. Those are super bad times.

When does little space become too much? 

It becomes too much when you can't attend to you're responsibilities when you need to. 

Do you feel like sometimes littles use little space as a way to leave all their adult responsibilities? 

Not really. I see it as a way to relax and unwind from them but not leave them

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