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Daddies with depression


Loola
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Hello,

 

I was just wondering if anyone had any experience with daddies with depression.

 

What is the best way to support them as a friend?

What is the best way to support them as a little?

Does is affect the DD/LG dynamic as little has to take on more of a care giver role to help the daddy?

 

I'd love to hear any other stories and experiences that you have about care givers with depression as well, I'm very curious

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Guest ADudeHasNoName
When I started getting sick, I struggled with depression and anxiety. Being chronically ill really puts stress on relationships, and makes care taking very difficult. What helps from a little would be reassurance that even sick and struggling with depression...that it's not their fault and that they still provide support and care.
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Around Christmas time last year my Daddy started to feel depressed and down most of the time. He didn't want to go to the doctor for a diagnosis or for medicine to make it better so I didn't force him to since we are both adults and can make our own decisions. As Daddy's best friend I just made sure I was there for him if he needed to talk to me about anything and I didn't go out of my way to offer advice or anything like that unless he specifically asked me to. I reassured Daddy that I was always going to be there for him and wouldn't leave/abandon him. I think it was quite easy for me to help Daddy since we live together, but for people in LDRs I don't really know how you would go about helping unless you just reassured the person that you were there for them if they needed to talk and you reassure them that you are there to support them and always make sure where they are/who they'll be with so that if something dangerous does happen, you can contact someone in time. 

 

In regards to whether it affected our DD/lg dynamic, I can't say it did really. I did do things sneakily sometimes, like I would act little for Daddy on purpose instead of it being natural so that when Daddy did something nice for me he would feel proud of himself and such. But I only did that when Daddy was really low, to help bring him out of it and distract him. I would also make sure that Daddy took his pain killers regularly and would make sure he ate breakfast and such, things that normally I would leave up to him.to take care of. I think doing little things like that helped since I was looking out for Daddy without making him feel like i thought he needed extra care since he felt bad. But I think I must have helped since Daddy is now feeling 100% better and has a much healthier outlook on himself and life :) 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest QueenJellybean

I'm going to be a huge nerd right now, and literally post my article "How To Deal When Daddy's Down". I wrote it when my own Daddy had just lost His mother. I hope it helps!

 

If you are anything like me, finding DDLG was a long, sometimes painful, and arduous process. But when I did, being little was like coming home. I have never been happier or felt more at home in my own skin.

 

But being a 24/7 little/middle makes situations where I have to be big difficult. Most of the time, I’m safe. Daddy can take care of it, I can slip into middle space and still function, I don’t live on my own, and I work at a pre-school. There are very few situations where it’s necessary to be Big.

 

Trauma and loss is one of the big ones.


Especially when it has to do with Daddy or another Caregiver.

 

When someone dies, life becomes totally different. When someone in Daddy’s life dies, it’s hard to feel like you can be little and still help. But you can be.

 

1. Be a good listener. Sometimes, just sitting, holding Daddy’s hand, and talking can be helpful. The best thing to do in grief situations is not to do most of the talking; just listen.

 

2. Stay little. Be true to yourself. If you matter as much as your caregiver says you do, they’ll need you not to change yourself in order to please them. Just be more sensitive to the fact that they are going through a difficult time. Maybe you being little is exactly the distraction they need!

 

3. Be respectful of space. Some caregivers might prefer to have space when something tragic happens. Give it to them. Offering to be there when they need it is enough, but everyone grieves differently. If they need space and you are afraid of how you will cope away, find a safe little friend to hang with.

 

4. Play house. I love doing this when Daddy is sad. Do your chores without being asked. Make dinner for Daddy (as sloppy and simple as it might be). Fold his socks and boxers. Wash the dishes. Pretend to be Mommy or Daddy for a bit.

 

5. Physical intimacy. I don’t mean just sex. I mean hold their hand. Squeeze their arm. Curl into their side. Kiss their nose. Treat them with care and use your proximity to show them that you care. Unless, of course, they request not to be touched. Always remember consent.

 

You are NOT less because you are little.

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  • 3 weeks later...
I was about to make a post on similar lines to this, just how are you supposed to be a care giver if you can't even take care of your self? All I have ever wanted to do in life and in relationships is go protect and look after people, so my current state makes this difficult
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I was about to make a post on similar lines to this, just how are you supposed to be a care giver if you can't even take care of your self? All I have ever wanted to do in life and in relationships is go protect and look after people, so my current state makes this difficult

Basically this.

Myself & my little or ex little or whatever we are now ( we still hangout and fuck and she calls me daddy idek ) we're both "severely depressed" and sometimes i just can't even take care of myself so i focus on taking care of her i know it's not the best to put myself after her but idk man i just sorta pushed my own issues to the side because i thought she was more important ? 

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I guess I don't have to worry about it due to a complete lack of Responsibility's, I'm just worried about not being able to give a potential future little what they need
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