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Dealing with flakes or ghosting daddies


cheshirekitten
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Hello,

 

So I am starting to feel like I'm cursed or something. Everytime i meet a Daddy I really start to enjoy talking to or want to build a strong ddlg relationship with. They just poor and disappear! Idk if it's the physical attraction or I say something wrong. There's never arguments or anything they just always have something come up like they are sick or dealing with a family matter but then I never hear from them again. I don't go very deep with my little side right off the bat and try to have normal conversation to really get to know them. Does anyone else have this issue?

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Trust me this happens on both sides.As a Daddy, I have had it a few times for no obvious reason. Everything is going brilliantly, then.......gone! It is never nice to have someone do this to you. Unfortunately it is seems to be part of the real world that has spilled over into our community. The world is missing out with this instant gratification culture. Many of us pursue pleasure with such breathless haste, that we hurry past it.

 

I believe it is far nicer to politely and firmly decline interest than to ghost. It seems to be part of what has to be just put up with these days, unfortunately, so when it happens, you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go out and find the person who will be there for you, because ultimatley they are the one you should be with. It is a sad reality, but finding the right person will be worth it.

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Guest Mister Grey

This is a daily struggle not only for many little but many caregivers as well.  The fact is that its not just the DDlg community but just across the board in any setting of interaction across the net.

 

And I don’t know if this makes it any better, but this is the same thing that happens when you meet people IRL, everybody has their own motivation, they are looking for one night stands, or wanting to get married next week, they are cheating, lying or shy and awkward, or just everything else.

 

The net can maybe make it easier to too all the bad things, but the struggles of finding someone to connect too in a meaningful way, friendship or otherwise, is always a constant, online or offline.

 

keep your head up.

 

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Thank you for the responses. It has happened both online and most recently IRL which idk kinda stings more than the online instance. I have dealt with it outside the community but for some reason idk I guess when you open up about your little side and they express the interest of being in that caregiver role it kinda adds a weird extra kick when they just disappear... I am sure Ill crawl out of this slump eventually but right now Im just not feeling so cute or good because of it.. Ill just go through the motions and keep going forward for now. Thank you both

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It's commonplace. Don't invest so much hope into people you've not known very long. It's easy to do. They say all the right things, make it sound like they're looking for the same thing you are, and get you all wide eyed and excited, lol. Sadly, it's very often an act. Nothing more. We've almost all been through it. Just try chill out a bit, and don't attach emotion so easily. Easier said than done, but entirely necessary, or you're going to be upset time and time again.
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It's commonplace. Don't invest so much hope into people you've not known very long. It's easy to do. They say all the right things, make it sound like they're looking for the same thing you are, and get you all wide eyed and excited, lol. Sadly, it's very often an act. Nothing more. We've almost all been through it. Just try chill out a bit, and don't attach emotion so easily. Easier said than done, but entirely necessary, or you're going to be upset time and time again.

All very true. And yes very much easier said then done. I have been working on that. I tried not to invest as much but I still have to improve on not getting that emotional attachment early on

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Lot of times we keep doing the same thing time after time.  You need to take a step back and think about the guys that have come and gone, their looks, attitudes and how much of themselves they are investing in a relationship.  Are the guys you are investing in the ones that tell you look so cute, you're a sweetie and that's such nice hair.  Or are you finding ones that let you into what they like, things they do and they want to know about what you like, where you've lived and other little (small) tidbits.  They want to know you and build a relationship.  First guy is fun and run guy (but he seemed so nice to me). Second guy not as fun at first, but he is going to get to know you and care about you.

Next time, find a different kind of guy than the one you would normally pick.  Its hard because you have to leave your comfort zone.  You keep getting the same wrong kind of guy so change that type you normally go with and your chances of a better outcome will improve.  This all based on what Einstein said "Insanity is doing the same thing ove and over again and expecting a different result."    

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