I was never quite sure what I desired out of my partner let alone my papa bear figure. Vaguely, I knew that I required a partner with intelligence that was equal to or greater than my own. He would need to have the wisdom of experience but without the inevitable gloomy personality experience causes us to have. He needed to lack this element for I possessed it tenfold. I also knew that I would need to respect him but that he would need to respect me, just as much. In my papa bear I found everything I was ever looking for, regardless of whether I knew it or not. I found the teacher I always was to others but never received myself. He care so much about me and the things I care about that it routinely moves me. For instance, he will be excited to read this post, and to understand my thoughts of the day. That level of care matches my own and thus invokes my devotion. There's nothing more beautiful to me than an individual who has a great capacity to love.
He guides me with love and gently pushes me in the right direction in all things. It's his understanding that is most rewarding and the way he loves, and lavishes me with attention, unconditionally. When I contemplate his person, my heart still lifts with joy because to me, he is truly good, a characteristic difficult to find in this world and one that I value above anyting else. I think that's why I often teasingly refer to him as 'little papa bear' because to me, he is also something pure and wondrous. He may call me angel baby but to me, he is also an angel, because he is filled with compassion and kindness. I once wrote that "he fingers my hand as gentle as a young girl winds her first ballerina box" and this stands as a testament to his entire character. His goodness, his carefulness, his understanding, makes me strive to be better. He doesn't need to place demands on me because who he is merely demands me to be good. I think that's a quality hard to find in a significant other and definitely one I would never conceptualized if I hadn't met him.
He teaches me things and fills in the holes of my personality effortlessly. We mesh like two puzzle pieces. From the first time I met him I could only describe the feeling he invoked in me as one of 'peace' and 'sanctuary.' When I'm with him, nothing else exists. When I'm away from him, I contemplate him from afar and revel in the glow. As a child, I never experienced the level of comfort and safety he provides me with. I know he is mine and that I am his for good because we are both hopeless romantics who are constantly working to show the other how much they are cherished.
He calms all of my troubles, and cares for me, in all things and in all ways, without me asking him to. He always knows what I need on an intuitive level but I am certain that this fact isn't just because he is my papa bear but also my soul mate. He knows me better than I know myself and I likewise know him just as well. Though he has shaped who I am, I have also shaped who he is and caused him to be more kind, carefree, and loving while he has allowed me to be content, carefree, and more practical in nature. He isn't just my papa bear but my best friend, my soul mate, my teacher, my father figure, my mother figure, my lover. He is everything, and it's always been central to my character to have someone to look up to and love. I hold him in the highest of lights but know that he holds me in one just as high, at all times. To me, it's the striving to main this light that is so pivotal to DDLG.