Whats wrong with me?

[Guest Juggalo king]

Hey guys lately ive been depressed even more than normal and i believe its because i can never find a good little or girlfriend like all of my relationships last about a week max and i just feel like im not able to love now like theres no littles where i live and no girls here likes me they either dont care or hate me i just dont know what to do maybe i should just give up on looking for a little here cause im never gonna find one yup bartlesville OK has no littles so id suggest not looking here like whats the point of being a daddy if i cant hold them if i cant do anything with them it just seems im not really a daddy now im just a normal guy

[Guest You're adorable.]

I totally understand you. But you should realize that searching for a little or daddy/mommy on this site is not as easy as it seems. Just like in real life, you have to go through a bunch of people to find "the one", whatever that might mean. Also note that some of the littles (as well as daddies/mommies of course) are not really looking for something serious and are there "just for fun". So I strongly suggest you to not get discouraged by it.

What i would try to do is to go slow. With all my relationships with littles, I gave it at least a month of talking to each other. I know that for some this might seem like a lot of time, but to really know a person you need more than one month in my opinion. 

As for not being able to love. For me, love manifests itself far later in a relationship. You can't really define love and it's different for every person, so if you are like me, then of course you will not feel love after a week. It's normal and understandable. Again don't get discouraged.

 

And I totally agree. Being in LDR i can totally understand your pains. Not being able to hold, kiss or talk to someone in person can be hard for some people, while I also met people that handle it pretty well. All I can say is that you are not alone in your struggle. Just try to do what all of us do. Keep looking until you find what you want. Some find it fast, some might never find it. But it's always forth to try.

Edited May 1, 2018 by You're adorable.

[Tinka]

Hello , i came to add and comment on something different because almost all have been said perfectly by the member "You`re adorable" . 

You mentioned somewhere that they don`t care or hate you.

Of course someone can`t hate a person in a chat, but i get what you mean, you see no response in your efforts of communication.

 

With all the respect and good intentions, i notice that you haven`t put a single dot in the text you wrote. 

Now keeping in mind that we are in a forum where every introduction is being done via text, a lot of people "have" only our texts to figure out if they like us or not.

And texts (messages) might be divided into 2 categories (at least for me). 

1) what do we say

2) how we say it

 

When we send a pm to someone, we represent ourselves in it. The way we write can determine a bit, the impression -others will have of us.

If i will write a message of 2-3 words without dots, exclamation marks, question marks (and why not , emotes some times).

If i write a long message without structure, or dots. 

If i create 2 whole lines of "HAHAHAAAAA" 

all these things sometimes are a hint of how could you be as a person. Positively or negatively forming an opinion.

 

Of course the rest of their impression will be formed from the things you say , and since i have never seen your conversations with potential littles, i can`t form an opinion.

 

Try if you want to change a bit the way you write. In real life this wouldn`t matter because someone could look at you in the eyes, your body language etc.

Here, we only got our hands our keyboard and thoughts. Portray them nicely. 

That is my opinion, but i also truly agree that it takes time to find someone who you like and who likes you. Be patient. 

[CaresAlot]

Couple suggestions:

Work on the way that you write.  You don't write one long sentence.  Some will see that as a reflection of who you are and that you don't have a good grasp of English.  Don't use chat speech like "u" instead of you.  It doesn't leave a good impression.  Add more to your profile, let people know who you are and things you like.  When you don't expend that time makes you look rushed, that you are going to only do what it takes to get by.  Its like going on a date, that initial first impression goes a long ways.

 

The one thing I here from lots of Littles is "what is it with these guys that come in and start telling me what to do and that I have rules.  He doesn't know me and he's not my Daddy and will not be."  You don't find a Little and take the title of being a Daddy.  First you have to take the time to get know her, both Big  and Little sides.  Learn who she is as a person and also what her expectations are in a relationship.  You have to do the same thing in letting her see who you are and what you are looking for in a relationship.  This is a really broad group and each Little has thing they are looking for and things they do not want.  Once y'all know that you are able to meet each others expectations, then you can progress from there and establish rules or whatever y'all are looking to do.  It takes time and effort to become a Daddy.  You don't give yourself that title, you earn it by getting your Little to want to give it to you.  If you push yourself on Littles, they are going to be gone.  If you just want to call yourself a Daddy, you will most likely fail.

 

From what I see, your issues are self inflicted.  Good news about that is its fixable.  Learn and chat with Littles and Daddies about what works for them and what has crashed and burned them in relationships. Read and read some more on things in this forum.  There is a ton of good information.  The smarter you are about this forum, the better Daddy you can be.  Anything worth doing, is worth doing right.

 

.

[Guest Arc]

Definitely work on how you write. I kept finding myself getting lost in the first line of your text, and having to read things multiple times in order to understand is not good. If you're talking to people online how you write things is your first impression, and you are not giving a good one like that. However, that is something that can be fixed if you make a conscious effort. 

 

If your relationships are only lasting a week maybe you should try being friends for longer. That makes me feel like you are rushing into things, especially with how you mention love. It generally takes longer than a week to love someone. I may be wrong, but that is the impression I get from what you have said. If you know someone for a while and talk to them before entering a relationship you have a better idea of if you are compatible or not. That time also gives you a chance to discuss wants and expectations, because littles and daddys vary so much that you can't immediately tell if you are compatible. So my suggestion is slow things down. 

 

But... If you are in such a state maybe you need to take a break and focus on yourself. You can't rely on other people for your happiness. If you cannot be happy without a little or other partner than you should be working on that first. And the part about not being a daddy and just being a normal guy? Well... sorry, but primarily you are a normal guy. Just like when away from my partner I'm primarily just a normal girl. We are people first and you should realise that. So take some time about, learn what you need, and try again with a clear mind. 

[Raw]

I think you're having problems using your frustration for the right cause. Instead of turning it into sadness and hopelessness use it as a motivation to be the person you want to be. With all due respect, you don't seem happy with yourself at all. This might be why you think that women hate you, when in reality you're just projecting your insecurities onto your partner. Think about it.

 

What could you do better next time? What were your mistakes in your past relationships? Do you love yourself? 

 

Don't get me wrong, you don't have to be "perfect". Aslong as you're relatively happy with yourself, people will notice and things will work out a lot better. It's hard work but you're doing it for you. 

 

cheers

[Guest Little Otter]

Dont get discouraged! What I suggest is maybe just putting yourself out there, let others see your personality rather than focusing on finding someone. If you post here frequently, let people see who you are youre bound to attract the right person for you. Idk exactly what youre doing to meet women, but I find in life a lot of ppl focus on getting in a relationship rather than socializing and allowing themselves to simply get to know people. You get lost in a bit of a haze that way, and people dont get to know you very well before engaging them. And inevitably, youll find you wont click with someone as anticipated. Thats ok! Youll be incompatible with more people than not, thats just true for everyone! Good luck I wish you the best.

 

Edit: sry didnt see this was in CG cafe, just saw it on the side bar. Idk how to delete my post, but I do think thus advice applies invariably for littles, cg's, or vanilla.

Edited May 1, 2018 by Curious Otter

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

Edit: sry didnt see this was in CG cafe, just saw it on the side bar. Idk how to delete my post, but I do think thus advice applies invariably for littles, cg's, or vanilla.

 

Otter, you're fine to post wherever you want.

 

Juggalo, perhaps you will find this topic useful: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/11936-how-to-write-a-daddy-dom-looking-for-a-littlemiddle-personal-ad/

[Guest Kaiser]

OP:

 

 

1) Take a minute and pause. Catch your breath.

2) Don't look for a relationship just to be in a relationship.

3) Don't look for a princess, just because she is a princess. Way too much instant Daddy/princes type posts in the personals forum here. Get to know the person first.

 

Just be yourself, don't worry so much about tracking a partner down, and it will eventually happen. For the right reasons.

Edited May 1, 2018 by Kaiser

[LittleKitten13]

Okay wow, you are actually less than 2 hours away from where I live (I live somewhere in Kansas), and I've gone to Bartlesville for shopping before.  I love Hobby Lobby and it's almost the closest one.  I'm not available, I just thought it was interesting that WHOA you actually live somewhere with a name I recognize.

Also I think everyone else has offered you pretty sound advice.

[Guest Little Otter]

Okay wow, you are actually less than 2 hours away from where I live (I live somewhere in Kansas), and I've gone to Bartlesville for shopping before.  I love Hobby Lobby and it's almost the closest one.  I'm not available, I just thought it was interesting that WHOA you actually live somewhere with a name I recognize.

Also I think everyone else has offered you pretty sound advice.

 

Hehe I wasnt gonna mention it, but I know Bartlesville too. I'm in OH, but I work very closely with a company there called DSR. SMALL WORLD.