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The leniency of rules.


LilSubbi
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From what I've read and experienced myself, DDLG is the least severe form among power exchange relationships because littles have such a tender heart and daddies/mommies have such strong, loving and nurturing instincts.

 

That said, I'd really like to know how other DDLG couples go about steps they take before punishment (if any).

 

My daddy has always been quite lenient and it works for us. Especially with the occasional brattiness, he makes sure he warns me (2~3 times before he proceeds to consequences, so that when he does, I am well aware what I did wrong -- It is different with more serious infractions though, like lying, coming home past bedtime, etc. Then I can expect punishment straight away.

 

Do you (as a daddy/mommy) proceed to punishment right away if your little breaks a rule, or do you warn him/her first, or perhaps, do you not punish at all?

 

How about the littles? Do you feel more safe if you get punished as soon as you break a rule, or do you value to be warned first, or have you and your daddy/mommy agreed to a relationship that doesn't involve punishment?

 

Curious how others live the lifestyle. :)

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To  me there are differences between rules that just more around what you're expected to do within the relationship and those which may be connected more with either good habits like getting regular sleep or anything that may put you at risk.

For things like chores, I prefer a single reminder because it gives me opportunity to show I can change my attitude (sometimes even the best people can just forget) but if still haven't, then I'm punished because it's clear I'm disrespecting you as I'm very clear about what you expect from me but I am just deliberately not doing it where as anything that's not healthy or putting myself at risk then I'm just punished.

For me I just find consistant fair punishment helps in keeping to good habits and keeping to agreed responsibilities and I learn better through that than long-winded lecturing although I may be also asked say to think about what I did and how I may avoid it after any punishment.

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In our home, clear rules are established and while there are some places where warnings are given - for example, I have a sailor mouth, Daddy is trying to help me to a no cursing point. I get warnings, because it's been natural for so long of me to curse. However, inversely, if I'm just disrespecting him, I will be punished momentarily after he has had a change to calm, think of a good punishment for my crime, and then I do said time. For example, last night I was being a very bad, disrespectful girl, and throwing my sippy cups onto the floor, sticking my tongue our and generally taunting him. After he calmed down, I was given a swift spanking, and then set in another room for time out for 10 minutes.

 

In general, I would say I prefer the later. Being punished swiftly for the 'crime' I've committed, because I feel like for me, it sort of snaps me out of the bratty, or otherwise space I might have slid into. Whereas with warnings, I sort of brush them off, as "Well, I still have 2 more," sorts of deals. Of course, this is not very often that it happens - but there are times when it does.

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Guest Pouty Kitten

I need and desire order so when I do break a rule, Daddy instantly punishes me. There will be times where He will warn me and Daddy uses His best judgment when making that decision.

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Guest buddhagirl
My daddy is super kind, so he tends to want to be lenient and give me warnings, but he's found that it's not very effective with me. He's learned that it's more effective to discipline me right away. That being said, there are some warning words that Daddy uses that let me know if I don't stop my misbehavior immediately, the next thing that will happen will be a paddling or slap across the face. Last week, when we were on vacation, I didn't get what I wanted when we were having sex, & I was kind of complaining about it afterwards. I see now that I was acting spoiled and bratty. Daddy patiently listened and then told me to shut my mouth. When I opened it to speak again he slapped me across the face. He handled it perfectly! If he had let me continue I would have just wound myself up more and more until he had to give me a much more severe punishment. So, I think quick and to the point is better than warnings for me.
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Guest curious-babydoll
Since Papa and I are long distance punishment is harder... Sometimes we have to wait until we can both be their to do the punishment. A lot of the time I have to write lines with proof, I've had to wash my mouth out with soup, early bedtimes... Nothing to bad but Papa really doesn't like punishing me but he knows I need it
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  • 4 years later...
Guest Sugarsnap

I like my rules to have categories, because it makes better sense to my brain and I think it allows for reasonable leniency. The other important thing is consistency, because flip flopping is confusing. I'm a gal that needs crystal clear expectations.

 

Green - Things that get warnings, but no punishments

 

Yellow - Things that get warnings, followed by a punishment

 

Red -  Things that get immediate punishments

 

A green rule could be something like swearing, for example. Maybe swearing should not be encouraged, but it's not earth shattering if it happens. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
My daddy never really punishes me...I almost wish he would. Because rules to me as a little are supposed to give me stability. Wheres the stability if they aren't inforced and I know I can break them or forget them and he will almost never even bring it up.
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