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Lust (mind) - - - - Love (heart)


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Sex is a powerful weapon. It feels good, draws you closer to another person, and when there is chemistry, it intensifies the relationship. But, sex also complicates things too.


When you are physical with someone, and they are giving you those oxycontin, ‘feel good’ emotions that happen when you are intimate with someone. These ‘feel good’ emotions can often mask some red flags, and developing issues in a relationship. So how do you differentiate whether it’s sex or love? Here’s a couple of ways.


Ask yourself if sex is the center of your relationship or a cornerstone? Here’s the difference. When you love someone, and you are very compatible, this will often make the sexual interactions with them more intense and add a layer to the relationship.


But, sex won’t be the primary thing that feeds the relationship. Sex is mental and then physical. In a relationship where you are building love, it’s different. You will want to have quality time to do other things with your partner in addition to the physical aspects.


These moments help you build a strong foundation which will add to the sexual component of your relationship.


On the other hand, this is how you know sex is the center versus the cornerstone of the relationship. Sex drives the relationship. The interactions are limited to sex. You don’t have shared moments that you can relate to where sex isn’t the primary activity or the experiences you have with one another. In fact, it may seem that if sex isn’t involved, the other person’s time spent with you is limited or there are gaps of time in them being around you.


As much as most of us can relate to having a bit of fun and an intense sexual experience with someone, these aren’t often the relationships that ended up being serious ones for us. It’s because connections are built on other factors in addition to sexual chemistry. As much as you may think you can get someone to love you more through ‘good sex,’ time and time again this hasn’t proven to be the best strategy for a long-term relationship.

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