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Cheesy Jokes/Pickup Lines


PizzaOnARoof
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Im not sure if a thread like this exists, but judging by how straightforward/lackadaisical the personal ads/guys in general on this site are. Allow me to shed some light on what can be a difficult situation: Breaking the ice! Not everyone is good at it, certainly nobody is a pro. So why not start with a run of the mill cheesy pickup line/joke.

 

What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?

Namaste 

 

Why dont cannibals eat clowns? 

Because they taste funny

 

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

He was a fungi 

 

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it 

 

What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships 

 

What did one tomato say to the other tomato during a race?

You better ketchup 

 

What did one peanut say to the other peanut when he caught him hiding under the table

I cashew

 

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

We'd better get some support soon, or people are gonna think we're nuts! 

 

Why does a chicken coup only have 2 doors?

If it had 4 itd be a chicken sedan 

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Now we're into pickup lines, my personal specialty ;) 

 

I seem to have forgotten my phone number, maybe I could get yours?

 

Im lost, can I have directions to your heart?

 

I was wondering if you have an extra heart, mine just got stolen. 

 

Was your dad a boxer? Cause girl, your a knockout! 

 

Besides being beautiful, what is it you do for a living?  

 

Kiss me if I'm wrong, but the sun rises in the west. Right?

 

Sorry, but were you talking to me? [No?] Well then start. '

 

Did I see you on the cover of Vogue? 

 

 

Feel free to comment yours, if they're good I might add them :p 

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Well someone needs to say the most classic of pickup lines: Are you from Tennessee? Cuz you're the only ten I see. :p
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Guest infinitecases

I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves  :D

 

I wish your name was Avogadro, because then I'd already know your number

 

Do I sense a bijection between us? Because I'd like to inject my homomorphism onto you :D 

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Me: Did it hurt--

Her: Don't try that--

Me: When you crawled your way out of hell to get here?

Her: That deserves a beer.

 

(With a friend, not a potential girlfriend)

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