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Contracts!


DaddyJsPrincess
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So I asked Daddy if we could look at our contract this weekend, since our arrangement has evolved quite a bit since he first wrote it. We've been trying to find time for a while actually and we've never quite gotten around to it lol.

 

Our contract still has a lot of harsh M/s kind of structure in it and that isn't what ended up working. I'm not expecting huge changes since everything still works for the most part, but I'm still excited to update it, since that's like the last thing to make us like officially official :p

 

And it got me to wondering how many of us here have behavior contracts with our littles/caregivers. Coming from a M/s dynamic where that was pretty common, it occurs to me now that I haven't heard many littles or caregivers refer to a contract here and now I'm curious :)

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Clover and I have a very extensive contract. For both of us, this is a very serious journey, that has evolved into a total power exchange relationship. It's also something I've learned about my natural dominating style; I love organization, paperwork, and ritual. It's just something I enjoy.

 

There's a lot of talk around the various kink scenes about how much ritual is "too much", but it depends on the people involved and the dynamic shared. If having a 100 page contract and a detailed Household wiki works for you? By all means, go for it! That's what works for us.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest curious-babydoll

Papa and I don't have contract or at least not anything written. We both have our rules and the fact we are strictly monogamous but nothing written or "official contract" or anything. We might once we are in person. 

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A 'contract' in the sense we're talking about is more a record of what's agreed by both of you, not being legally enforcable but something to which the crossing of means a lot to you as it covers what both of you are looking for and supplying the needs of each other.

It's sensible to review them cos our needs can change.

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Guest buddhagirl

Daddy has written rules for me that I have signed and we review them together regularly. He revises as needed, especially when he sees me struggling with something specific like being hard on myself or not getting enough sleep. Daddy doesn't have any written rules, of course--that would be absurd, but I have boundaries and needs that he respects because he loves me.

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Guest QueenJellybean

Hi there! Daddy and I have a contract, and we've had one since my collaring about a year ago! It's more for my benefit than His, and we like to be reminded of the rules and expectations. Life can be really busy and crazy sometimes. 

 

Basically, we have three different categories. What's expected of me. What punishments are acceptable. What rewards I may earn. 

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  • 1 year later...
  • 6 months later...
I always wondered about the contract thing. Why do people do it? They aren't legally binding or anything at all. If the contract is broken, then it's just broken, you can't actually take something like that to a court. So why do people like them? I'm sorry if this sounded rude at all. I'm just genuinely curious.
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I always wondered about the contract thing. Why do people do it? They aren't legally binding or anything at all. If the contract is broken, then it's just broken, you can't actually take something like that to a court. So why do people like them? I'm sorry if this sounded rude at all. I'm just genuinely curious.

In my opinion, a contract is protection for the Dom. If they agree to a TPE relationship, hard limits are discussed, and the relationship fails... if the sub has marks (from a consented to play session that the sub later regrets because the relationship failed) it protects the Dom from a potential domestic violence charge, to an extent.

 

I personally don't see the contract as a legally binding agreement so much as a protection. Not to mention someone else can call in a domestic violence call. My husband and I have TPE relationship and while visible marks aren't part of our play... IF someone saw them and called in a concern, I would want something in writing to show along with my verbal consent to protect him.

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