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What does love mean?


Guest Notme

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Guest Notme

What does the word ‘love’ mean in a DDlg sense?

I wonder if CG and littles can tell me what it means if we ‘love’ our CG or little? Is it the same as loving someone in a vanilla relationship?

What is the type of feeling that tells you that you ‘love’ your CG/little?

My daddy started saying he loved me after we’d ‘seriously’ chatted on kik and phone for about a month (we’d chatted on and off very casually for about 2 months before that). I feel that I love him too and he has encouraged that. I know some people say the word to get something, or appease someone, but I don’t think it’s like that because of the timing when he says it). I don’t really want to ask him to explain what he means yet until I understand my own ‘love’ feeling.

The thing is in both my long relationships that were marriages, it took quite a while to ‘love’ them while dating. Yes I had feelings, but in the vanilla world, it’s called lust for quite a while (well usually).

Does love mean that type of ‘let’s have a relationship and eventually move in together etc etc etc? Or is it a different type? I know the moving in ideas etc is a discussion that should be had together and that will happen. But I want to work out the feelings side so I can have a prepared discussion.

 

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Guest You're adorable.

"What does 'love' mean?" 

 

This is a topic that was explored by maybe everyone. Poets, philosophers, scientistcs, simply all kinds of people. So some definition of love in my opinion just ins't possible if it wasnt' already postulated by someone. :D 

 

You asked what love means in context of DDlg, but I don't think that this is the way to look at it. Everybody has different notion and/or definition of what love is for them. In other words, it's very subjective. I do understand why are you asking this though. When I was asked the question "Do you love me?" some years ago, my answer was "I am not sure". Of course that was not a good answer as lots of people get very upset after you tell them that and this was no exception. 

 

So after this, I was looking more into what love actually is and if i am or i have ever felt it. The problem was for me that there was no exact definition, which to me was a problem. None of the definition was actually quite right and didn't fit for me. Needles to say that I was frustrated. But as years went by, I just told myself "Who cares, actually". And I think that's right. 

 

Maybe I went a little astray, so I am returning back on track now. So..... I don't think there is any difference in love in DDlg relationship as compared to normal relationship. Because unless you agreed beforehead that your relationship will be purely platonic, your relationship should be in no way different in the romantic aspect than the vanilla ones are. At least in my opinion. I think that your doubt, I would say is because your definition of love is somehow different and you are not really sure if he means because of that. I understand that, I have also had my doubts about people that started to say "I love you" over the text. I mean, unless you meet someone in person and talk face-to-face, I am not sure how you can love him/her. That is my opinion on the matter. 

 

So to summarize, I don't think that his kind of love is any different than the kind that you have in mind, it's just that he approaches love differently or it's easier for him to fall in love than it is for you. Of course, as I always encourage couples to talk since it's the cornerstone of any relationship, you should definitely have that kind of talk. I am just saying that the fact that he approaches love differently does not mean that his love is not honest or it's somehow different from yours.

 

I hope this makes sense, since my brain is boiling from the heat, so if it doesn't, then sorry :D

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Guest Notme

Wow Raging Storm. Your post is an amazing response and not what I expected (but in a good way).

 

I guess it is the case that those 4 letters together can mean so many things.

 

I do think that, at least in my experience, the L word is a huge no-no in the vanilla dating world at least in my age group (it is full of jaded divorced people though - of which I am not). It is refreshing to find people who don't shy away from their emotions just to conform with the idea of the 'right' way to do things.

 

My daddy does say it in person so I have no doubt that, whatever it means to him, it is his true feeling.

 

Thanks heaps for your thoughts  :)

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Guest Professor Optics

In my opinion... Love is accepting the person for who they are with all their quirks and imperfections. You want to love them in such away that they don't have their freedom restricted and let them be who they are with no judgement. Being there when they want you, not trying to change them and supporting them when they do want to change is a strong way to indicate love for them. Being their cheerleader, their friend, their partner, their princess. Just being the person that helps let them be a better version of themselves.

 

As YA mentioned, love is subjective. I think what i said in the last paragraph is the fundamental basics of what love is, and beyond that everyone's definition of love is different. There are as many definitions for love as there are people on this earth. I think it's more a case of whether or not you feel ready to approach your relationship romantically with all that it entails, or whether you want something more casual or platonic.

 

In the context of DDLG, that is something I'm not a 100% sure either. If a little told me she loves me, I would be uncertain whether she means it in a "I want to be with you for the rest of my life way" or whether she just loves me as a child loves a parent. That's where communication comes in, and it's best to find out what your partner's definition of love is, what they mean in this context and what they want out of this relationship, and see if it matches with yours, or if you'd be able to match theirs.

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In a caregiver capacity, I can come to love a little in possibly the same amount of time as OP mentioned (3 months)

 

But I would definitely not be 'in love' with that little.

 

Caregiver love can be easier to come by tgan romantic love since you have to deeply care, but there's no falling in love aspect.

 

And cg love can turn into romantic love in time. Its possible that there is caregiver love right now. Romantic love... possibly but one with shallow roots

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Guest Notme

Thanks for those thoughts. I think he has caregiver love, wish is lovely. And that's probably what I have too, but I do find my self wanting more non CG/l interaction. This doesn't have that fluttery 'falling in love' feeling but craving connection on more levels.

It's such a loaded word!

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This brought me back to when I was with my first daddy and the whole thing just didn't feel real and it took no time for us to start saying "I love you" to each other. The entire relationship felt more like a roleplay than a relationship so I came out of it learning a lot.

With my Daddy now, I told him I loved him on this past New Years Eve (I may or may not have been drunk XD) and we were just friends then, but we were extremely close friends. I'm a person who believes that friendship love is the most important(at least in this point of my life) and since he was one of my closest friends I had been dying to say it to him but I was scared of how he'd react. Thankfully it turned out to be okay when I told him that night. Now that he's my Daddy I think the love we have for each other is part of what keeps us so strong. So for us it's more of a friendship love, but an extremely close one. He's my Daddy, one of my best friends and what keeps me going most days so when I tell him I love him I mean it from the bottom of my heart and as a way to show him how happy I am to be his little:)

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in my opinion love feels like something that happens when there's attraction, then from attraction it turns into commitment- if you're talking about the romantic type of love. I actually believe in there being a 'spark' and there's some people who you can't love in that way no matter what.  Caregiver/little love is similar but different, caregivers love to care for little but little loves to care for caregiver in different ways. It's almost therapeutic for the both of us. it's love when you can make sacrifices and learn to not be afraid to just love someone without really expecting anything or being afraid of what could happen; I would a lot for my partner to make him happy because of that love. most importantly, I believe love is an action 

Edited by arineunha
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I think that the overall basis of love is caring more about someone else than yourself, regardless of anything else that goes along with the term "love."

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