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Dad issues?


Lala Blue

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I saw a lot of times people talking about ddlg like it has something to do with dad issues but I don't understand why?

I always had a really good relationship with my father and I love him so much and he's one of the most important to me.
Why people say that ddlg has something to do with dad issues?

 

I'm confussed!

Edited by Lala Blue
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Guest Looby-Lou

Because for some people it is (or partly is) a Dad issue.  For others it totally isn't.  There's no right or wrong.

 

And it doesn't have to mean someone had a bad relationship with their Dad, or no father figure growing up etc.  Like yourself, I have a wonderful Dad, and that definitely IS why I love having a Daddy in a  DDlg dynamic.  Basically I want to recreate the loving, fun, safe, disciplined relationship I had as a child with my Dad.

 

Everyone has their own experiences, history, emotions, etc.  Sometimes one person's way of living the kink is confusing to another person. That's just the way it is. It doesn't mean someone is right and someone is wrong, just different to each other.

Edited by Looby-Lou
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Because for some people it is (or partly is) a Dad issue.  For others it totally isn't.  There's no right or wrong.

 

And it doesn't have to mean someone had a bad relationship with their Dad, or no father figure growing up etc.  Like yourself, I have a wonderful Dad, and that definitely IS why I love having a Daddy in a  DDlg dynamic.  Basically I want to recreate the loving, fun, safe, disciplined relationship I had as a child with my Dad.

 

Everyone has their own experiences, history, emotions, etc.  Sometimes one person's way of living the kink is confusing to another person. That's just the way it is. It doesn't mean someone is right and someone is wrong, just different to each other.

I didn't think it in that way. Thanks so much for explaining!  :heart:  ^_^

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Because of the term daddy. Not that hard to see why people link daddy with father. Plus, yes, a lot of people involved in ddlg do have issues with their relationship with their father. But then if you take notice of Freudian followers, or a vast number of people, basically every female carries issues with their father to their relationship. And every male carries issues with their mother to their relationship.
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I am confused. In a previous post you stated that you have known about ddlg since 2015. I find it surprising that you have not encountered the "daddy issues" concept until now.

 

For a bunch of personal reactions to the idea, check this thread:

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/32032-littles-with-daddy-issues/?hl=daddy+issues

I did! But at first was thanks to a friend and after that even if I saw it I didn't get really into the "daddy issues" part until now. And thanks for the information!

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Guest Professor Optics

Honestly, I don't really think it comes from daddy issues. By observation, some littles have great relationships with their fathers, and still enjoy the aspect of being under someone elses care. I believe this stems from a more biological aspect, as opposed to a mental/emotional one.

 

Of course, some littles use it as a way to make up for not having that strong father figure around. Mostly, however, I think it stems from the fact the feminine energy is naturally submissive, and masculine energy is naturally dominant. In this case, opposites attract, because feminity desires the presence of a strong, dominant and naturally masculine figure, who can make them feel safe, etc. D/s as well as the subsets, such as DDLG, helps to facilitate an environment where someone predominantly femine can find someone predominantly masculine.

 

So i don't believe it has anything to do with "daddy" issues. I think if the relationship with your father is healthy, then you have had first hand experience of being around someone who is predominantly masculine, a leader and someone who allows you to feel safe. If your relationship with your father isn't healthy, I think it then stems from you desiring that dominant figure to take the lead, and facilitate an environment where you can feel safe, because if you're primarily feminine, that will be the natural course.

 

In my eyes, the term "Daddy" doesn't necessarily define a father, but rather someone who can facilitate an environment where you can be comfortable in your feminine, provide for you, take charge when faced with problems and overall allow you to feel safe, becasue ultimately, feminine energy desires the strength and protection of masculine energy. Same goes with "Mommy" or any other CG-related terms that may be floating around.

 

NOTE: I do not say that being feminine means you're a woman, or being masculine means you're a man. We all have a varying levels of both, and it all depends on which one you identify with being the most dominant, natural state for you.

Edited by Professor Optics
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