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Pacifier Problems


PrincessStuffieLover

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So I’ve been interested in pacifiers since I began ddlg, and I bought a child’s one at first but dumped it before I moved in with my bf, he knows about ddlg but really dislikes pacifiers and anything else of the sort (including toys, I’m only allowed to have stuffed animals) he controls most of the finances and it’s been almost a year and im still interested in pacifiers, maybe even more so than before (i obsessively drool over them online at this point) should I just go behind his back and try to purchase one for myself? I’ve talkked to him about my desire several times and the last time we did he told me to drop it or we’d have to break up
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He should love you despite your curiousity on pacifiers. Your partner is supposed to love you and let you grow as a person while doing the things you love, he should not be threatening to leave you if you like binkies. You are who you are, own it. You should show him that you bought a binky and just say "This is what I like. This is what makes me happy. This makes me feel little and I am a little. If you really love me, you would let me do this and not shame me. If you don't want me to be happy, then you don't deserve me" sure, not exactly like that, but you catch what I'm saying. You know the saying "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" this applies. I know that my Daddy does not like diapers, but I have asked him several times that if I was suddenly curious (not like I am, I was just testing him) in diapers, would he leave me? He said he would never leave me but he would discuss and be willing to explore it with me but also express that that is not an interest of his and would not enjoy it. 

 

We are NEVER consistently the same person for years upon years, we are constantly evolving, especially in BDSM. He needs to accept your growth, put up or shut up, or leave. He is not a good boyfriend and I'm so sorry that he has been that harsh on you. He cannot isolate your growth because that will only cause you to become unhappy and be ashamed of yourself, much like you already are feeling. 

 

You haven't mentioned that your boyfriend is trialing being a Daddy, but you are a little... perhaps a closet little from what I'm taking from this? Even a good boyfriend, without the title of a Daddy, would let you grow and nurture you, not shame you into a corner and make you feel ashamed of yourself for your evolution in a bit of abdl curiousity. 

 

All in all, I recommend speaking to your boyfriend in a mature setting on what you want, why you want a binkie, how it makes you feel, why he isn't okay with it, why he isn't letting you evolve as a little, why it puts him off SO MUCH that he feels the need to break things off with you? Do not settle for someone who doesn't accept you for who you are. A lot of problems can be solved with a bit of communication. 

 

I hope things go well. :)

Edited by ♥Squishy Princess♥
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I don't want to come across as rude.... but are you really okay with someone not accepting you as you are and trying to control what you do? If someone only allowed me to have certain toys I would not be okay with that. And threatening to break up if you kept asking for a pacifier? That is extreme. Really, really extreme. I personally could not be with someone who only liked certain parts of me because that is not love in my opinion. You either love every side of someone, the good and the bad, or you don't like them. You can't pick and choose and manipulate them being into what you want because that is not loving them. But that is just my opinion.

 

It's up to you, but I would suggest thinking about what is important to you. Relationships are about both people and finding a way to make things work but it sounds like you're giving all you can for him and him not making any compromise. Do you want to feel loved and safe to be who you are, or do you want things to stay as you are and have to change for someone?

 

Again, this is just my opinion. I believe in loving someone entirely as they are rather than just parts of them, and I believe in supporting your partner in what makes them happy. 

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I would feel so neglected and non priority if my boyfriend ever said anything like that. 
Your boyfriend should love you for being you! A pacifier shouldn't make him want to break up with you. That doesn't sound like an equal relationship where both voices and needs gets to be heard. I'm sorry to say, but if I were you, I would leave. There are better guys out there.

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I think think you're relationship can even be called ddlg because you're "Daddy" doesn't like anything little related. If you can't even have stuffies then he's not the right guy for you.
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He really did not have a good reaction to you, to threaten to break up over them.  Papa used to hate the idea of pacifiers, but he wasn't going to stop me from using them privately, and I respected that he didn't like them, so didn't use them around him.  He's gotten more relaxed to the idea, because he's okay with me sending him pictures with my binky now, but I still haven't used them around him.

Have you discussed with him why you want a binky and gotten answers as to why he doesn't like them?  Maybe he would be willing to let you suck your thumb, or have a binky, just not around him.

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