Jump to content
DDlg Forum & Community Spring is Here !

Irrational fear of meeting long distance


Guest AlisonS23

Recommended Posts

Guest AlisonS23
I had no idea where to post this so I posted it here... but does anyone else have any irrationally map fear of meeting people after a long distance relationship? So I’ve been in a few long distance relationships as well as in person and I’m not sure if this fear is because I’ve been in a few extremely abusive relationships both emotionally and physically or what. But no matter what or how long I video or call or talk to someone and it’s long distance I have this overwhelming fear attached. I obviously understand not everyone is out to hurt others and getting to that trust is great but that fear never fully subsides. I think my first time even video chatting with a long distance relationship I actually shed tears I was so afraid. Any other daddies/Little’s or anyone at all have these issues too? I know this is something I need to work though on my own. It will take time. But I’d like to hear others experiences pleaseeee. Thanks friends! Edited by AlisonS23
Link to comment
Share on other sites

LDR alone can truly be a very scary experience. Its one that still to this day society tries to turn a blind eye to and in some cases shun as it is not a typically "normal" relationship story. So therefore your fear is perfectly normal. Part of the flaw of humans are that we have very acute fight or flight instincts, similar to a deer. The fear comes from our overly active imaginations conjuring all of the negatives, only fuled by loved ones and haters adding gasoline to the flame of fear.

 

Now unlike deers we as humans do have the opportunity to choose to fight. You could choose to go against the doubters, fight the fears, and go to in the least visit him. The choice is up to you. Its scary, but follow your heart and you will never be lead astray

Edited by Teddy Bear
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest AlisonS23

Aww that’s super cute! Thank you kindly for the advice. Yeah I mean I have met long distance daddies in the past. So I’ve chose fight so to speak but it’s just so damn hard for me. I really wish it was more fluid ya know? It’s almost off putting how much anxiety I have about meeting. Or even getting super close to someone really.

 

 

Also I suppose I do this weird thing where I push people away before they push me away as a defense. Anyone else have some experiences similar?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Kerjin

For me, LDR's are a bit of a conundrum.  Firstly, there's the whole Internet Full of Scammers thing going on. I've recently become single again after the ending of a 4-year mundane relationship. I decided to go out and look and see what was available online as far as dating, etc. I joined a half a dozen dating sites and within 2 weeks had been hit upon by no less than 8 scammers that worked into the "I don't have enough money for groceries, can you please send me $300 so I can buy food" thing. That's NOT saying anyone from here did that at all. Matter of fact, this has been the only place where I've met real people.

 

That being said, I always demand, when starting a new relationship, that we Skype as soon as possible, to cement the "Reality" of the relationship.

 

But, that still doesn't stop the nervousness that I feel when meeting someone face to face the first time, especially after having been in an LDR for a while. So yes, I too feel nervous and a little scared. What is the chemistry is off? What is, even though we've shared our hopes dreams and desires for the p[ast xx months over Skype, what if they turn out to not like me?

 

Trust is the hardest thing to build and the easiest thing to destroy.

 

Stick with it little one, although it may not get easier, the rewards far outweigh the troubles.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest AlisonS23

Thank you kindly! I agree with you on a lot of levels. As far as what if the chemistry is off because seriously it’s like living with someone. You don’t know their true colors until you live with them 24/7 kind of thing. Same can go with chatting online. You chat with them for a few hours each night on video but outside of that you have no idea how they act you just go off what they tell you and stuff.

 

Also the trust being so hard to build but easy to destroy is very true. I made the awful mistake (for many reasons I can sorta justify) of telling a small lie that turned into a huge lie after another huge lie just to keep a guy from leaving because I didn’t trust he’d not hurt me in the end. My initial thought was make this guy love me so he doesn’t hurt me or tell him the truth and he will hurt me. Moral of the story I was super hurt in the end anyway and very very dumb for thinking that. Glad I’ve grown from the experience and I’d not do anything of the sort again...but buuut trust is key. And sooo hard to build. So easy to destroy. Like what if someone else is doing that same thing I did? Can’t shit a shitter.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I currently rate being alone higher than a LDR daddy/little situation, so I just don't see that ever happening with me.

 

vanilla dating someone that lives 7 miles away but has no interest in pacis   >   having a little over the phone.

 

Perhaps something of a CG nature which doesn't require me to stop dating someone else. Which also means to expect zero naughty pic/vid requests. :)

 

Like what someone already said, someone can present themselves in a completely different persona than what you would experience face to face.

 

Someone could totally hide the fact that they were a TRUMP SUPPORTER in an LDR situation.  lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest AlisonS23
Hahaha yeahhhh Trump supporter is an automatic out for me and yeahh I hate the fact that some people are one way and another in person but it happens all the time.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

being sort of a nihilistic tyler durden makes me unpopular with both parties. but the advancement of smart phones promotes the idea of the single serving friend. when finished, use the block button.
+1 postcount 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pushing people away is my worst flaw. I do that with everyone, family, friends, strangers alike. I am always giving strangers 1 chance that they do not deserve, testing everyone. I can easily leave those who are good, but i find it the hardest to leave or forget about those who are bad.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest AlisonS23
New order, you don’t want to hear my political stances but I feel our sarcasm reaches the same level soo I enjoy that that!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Kerjin

You keep on keeping on AlisonS23. All in all, you'll find most of us are real people, with real wants, needs and desires and who are not afraid to share opinions and thoughts. The occasional one, however, those myopic little asshats whose lives are so pathetic that the only excitement they can get is when they step on (read: troll) someone else, just to cause pain and discomfort (Not to be confused with consensual pain and discomfort, that's a good thing!)

 

Anyways, I hope you can work through your anxieties and, should you need a sympathetic ear, please feel free to PM me.  :)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Kerjin

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155842214138579&id=728023578

 

 

I hope that link works because it’s how I feel when meeting someone they might actually turn out like this vs what they say hahahahaha

 

This is just me being silly for the mister part.

 

Oh. My. Fucking. Gawd.

 

Ok, sorry, I'm back now.   :D

 

Honey, if you skype with them, and can hold a conversation with them via Skype, you've got nothing to worry about.

 

Let me share something with you. The Internet brings out the worst in people because there are little to no repercussions for their actions. They can do, say, be anything and it's all, for the most part, anonymous which means that there's a crucial element missing from normal human interactions. In face to face interactions, where we see AND hear the person we are interacting with, there's a feedback loop built into human communications. First off, it's the facial expressions, the body language and the tone of what's being said and the words being used. Those are the 4 external parts. The internal parts, those are what being anonymous overcomes. See, normally, we worry about what people will think of us, we become embarrassed if we say something that upsets or hurts another human being and, lastly, is the threat, or perception, of physical responses to our words.

 

So tl:dr, as far as meeting someone face to face, the fear is because you're going to be real. Face to face. Even Skype is a more comfortable way because one can simply disconnect if a conversation is going awry. And that's all based on human communications and the missing parts. It truly is just an irrational fear, a real one none the less, but one that's not grounded in anything. Just remember, and this is based on your Avatar, but you are a beautiful girl. Anyone would be thrilled to know you and, if they've already gotten to know you, has already fallen for your idiosyncrasies.    :p

Edited by Kerjin
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest AlisonS23
Thank you kindly friend! Yeah I’ve had a Skype experience where they hung up on me because I was super upset and just crying haha I mean I can understand sorta why. But I Skyped them so I could calm down not to be hung up on and told I was over reacting. Anyway... anyone know how to read micro expressions? I took a class on this and it comes in handy to tell when a person is fibbing and stuff. Just because it’s subconscious expressions.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Kerjin

Thank you kindly friend! Yeah I’ve had a Skype experience where they hung up on me because I was super upset and just crying haha I mean I can understand sorta why. But I Skyped them so I could calm down not to be hung up on and told I was over reacting. Anyway... anyone know how to read micro expressions? I took a class on this and it comes in handy to tell when a person is fibbing and stuff. Just because it’s subconscious expressions.

 

Ok, on the first part, anyone who would do that to you, or any other little, is not, and most likely will never, be a Daddy/Mommy, In My Not So Humble Opinion. This is Rude, Disrespectful, Hurtful, Mean and just downright asinine!!!!! Ok, stepping off my soapbox.

 

Microexpressions:  If you're fast enough to read and process them in real time, that's a wonderful thing.  Most of us can not read and decipher them fast enough to make use of them during a conversation. That being said, it is possible to get a hint of what's going on by subconsciously capturing and decoding the microexpressions, which will result in a "feeling" of what is going on. This, however, is something that takes quite a bit of training and practice to do.

 

What you need, IMNSHO is a chance to be yourself with someone you trust, namely a Daddy you can trust. That trust is something that's hard to build, even face to face. For me, it's almost been completely broken by 5 failed relationships, each of which ended because of lies.

 

Find yourself someone who's a Daddy and become friends with him, no strings attached, no expectations, nothing and allow him to help you by being your friend first.  Remember, a friend is someone who knows you and likes you anyway.   :p

 

It sounds to me like the failures of the past are weighing heavily on you and have set up a negative feedback loop in you.  Perhaps subconsciously you're expecting something to happen as it did before in the bad relationships.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest AlisonS23

yep! I want a partner I can take on the world with. Best friends... that also enjoy some kinky shit. Haha I love to laugh and chat have a good time.

 

The micro expression class I took taught you how to decipher them by slowing clips down as well as taking pictures and comparing the different ones. But yes! In real life it’s very very hard to read them that’s why people that do work in jobs with such high paying salaries.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...