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ddlg relationship help


putriputrie
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so I have a daddy for few months now. He always been there for me, whenever I'm down or happy. I tried to end this relations for few times because i feel like i'm not good enough for him and I have bad anxiety where I cry almost everyday without any reason. So today, we chat like usual and I asked him what's his plan for today since he has a day off. He told me that he's going to take his daughter to the mall. I can't believe my daddy has a daughter that is only 3-4 years younger than me and he never tell me. He said that he thought he told me before. I don't know what to do now, I'm scared that his daughter will found out. Please help me, what should I do now? Should I leave my daddy that I really love or should I continue this ddlg?

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  • 2 months later...

Hi, I'm not sure if I should say my name or not so I won't,, just call me Kitten. My Daddy and I have been having problems. A lot if them. First, he is always working. He's either in a meeting or working late at the office and can't talk. He gets home late but we can't talk then because I have school. Him not talking to me makes me feel neglected. Am I wrong? Then he makes me cry and feel guilty.. Every time I try to tell him this he gets really angry and won't talk to me. I literally cry every single night because all I want him to do is show me how much he loves me. He can't physically see or touch me yet so I don't think he understands. I need help.. I don't know how to fix it... Is it worth it? Please please please help me

 

I think this is something you should put into its own thread.

 

If you both have conflicting schedule, I would be hard pressed to call it neglect. Neglect is purposeful. If he's doing it purposefully, then it's neglect. Otherwise it's just poor schedules and you'll have to work through that. 

 

Now the other issue is that if he is making you cry and feel guilty, that is an entirely separate issue. What is he doing that makes you cry? I speculate that you try to bring up talking and then he doesn't want to and you guys get into a fight, he gets mad, he stops talking to you. And the cycle repeats itself. Unless there is an open line of communication, the relationship is going to fail. Relationships are built on communication and him severing that line of communication by being angry for whatever reason is severing the only line your relationship really has. Out of everyone on this forum, only you know your partner more than any of us. 

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Mr bones and rice..

 

He makes me cry by yelling and saying bad words to me.. Maybe he gets so angry because I word it wrong.... I don't feel neglected but maybe forgotten.. I feel like he forgets that I am small and I need him for everything. I can't make a decision without asking him first but with him working and all it's just a lot harder than it used to be. Then MY bad decisions stress me out and I need him more...... What should I do? What should I say to him? How do I fix it?

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Guest MyDaddyMyWorld

^^ you need to start your own thread. This is for the original poster. Not fair to take it over.

 

To the op, maybe he never talked about his daughter because he knows how overly anxious you are. Try not take this the wrong way, but you sound like maybe you are quite high maintenance. That's very difficult for anyone to deal with, even daddies.

If you keep trying to break up for that reason, he won't know whats happening in your head from one minute to the next.

Maybe hew trying to figure out if it's worth talking about his child if the relationship is so unsure.

People are usually very protective over their children, and he didn't feel confident enough to talk to you about her.

If this continues, it also sounds like you might behave in a jealous insecure way about him spending time with her. She is his daughter, she comes first, or she certainly should, and you need to be adult enough to accept that, especially if he only sees her occasionally.

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I'd have to agree with the above. Do you feel, sorry to say, jealous that he went out with her? Would you feel comfortable if you went out with your own father for lunch, etc and didn't include him? Though the names "daddy" and "baby girl" (whatever) are used in both relations, they ARE different meanings.

As for her finding out, why would that be a big deal? What goes on with adults in their private lives are their own business. You'd never chastised your parents for their relationship lifestyles, do is doing she would with her father's and yours.

There will always be the little things that we dislike with our partners, even in the best relationships. Be supportive, but honest. Tell him you're upset that you didn't know VERY clearly about her and then show hon you want to be okay with things (unless you're not and then you have to make a choice). A grown up choice, against your general character, but it must be done.

Little are strong too, and you would be okay alone if you need to be for a bit. Good luck.

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