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Relationship help


AngelLove

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Alright, so I’ve been on and off with this guy Jose since january, he’s the perfect boyfriend, he treats me well and takes care of me and I have feelings for him.. but he’s extremely vanilla. He handles me when I’m in little space, but that’s it. He just “handles” me. I’ve tried but he’s completely against being full on ddlg dynamic. I love him but I’m torn on it, I don’t know if I could have a future with someone who can’t be into ddlg. And having a caregiver isn’t in the equation, he’s too jealous for that. Should I settle or should I keep looking for a daddy? Any advice is welcome
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Guest Aetherr

you need to decide, though is sounds like you have if you can settle, like i said it sounds to me like "the perfect boyfriend" is not enough which really must suck

 

what i suggest is if you consider giving him more time to adjust or gently nudge him more into the dynamic he might slowly learn to either enjoy it himself or at the very least is willing to get into it for your sake, if that does not happen or does not seem likely to happen you might want to have a talk with him about the caregiver thing, or go separate ways, the one thing i so suggest though as someone who was vanilla until recently is let him know why you two won't work but don't give him the option of getting into it for your sake, it will make him uncomfortable and you will know he is only doing it to keep you

 

i know there is a lot of hypothetical guesswork in there but i do think its important he get a fair chance if he has not already had one and if not that he knows why it will not work

 

 

either way i wish you luck

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"Perfect boyfriend" doesn't sound like this guy then. Do you 100% need DDLG in a relationship or is that just what you think right now? If you do need it, then you might very well have to leave Jose. I think you know the answer here but don't want to admit it to yourself.

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I went through the same thing with my daddy i'd give him time to adjust and maybe even teach him more about being a daddy/care giver, he might come around. Either way I hope things work out!

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Thank you all for your advice, as much as it hurts I can’t be with him. I’m going to leave him permanently
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Thank you all for your advice, as much as it hurts I can’t be with him. I’m going to leave him permanently

 

 

I was going to say since you posted here, it means you aren't really happy and that you should find someone that makes you happy and still eat your cake as they say :)

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