My Dom is a Switch I don't know what to do?

[JJBlue]

My Dom is a switch and they want me to be more Dom when they are in little space. Which I understand but I'm not Dom at all and I'm struggling with the idea, I was hoping for advice on what I should do

[Little Illy]

(I don’t know your genders nor orientation. I will be using hetero male.female pronouns as a default - but in no way devauling other orientions, etc)

 

You two need to sit down and discuss it. Maybe there are baby steps you are comfy with;

 

- Giving you a different title when he is feeling submissive, but not something over the top. So instead of Mistress, maybe Miss.

 

- Maybe make a rule chart for both of you, and when he is feeling submissive, that is when you look at it and see what he has done. If he hasn’t done anything suggest something, don’t command. “Maybe you should go clean that up... you haven’t done it the past two times....”

 

- If he needs punishment, maybe fix it into your little side. “You know, I think you should go clean my little things (clothes, stuffies, packs, etc). This isn’t like a spanking or corner time, and you can been in your head see it as a ‘haha you have to do my chore now!

 

- If he needs rewarded, incorporate it! Have a little day that you decide the events! Wanna go for a picnic, to the zoo, get a me stuffie? You decided the outings but act freely.

 

- Etc

 

If you’re willing to work this out, communication is paramount. Not everything will feel right nor will everything work. But if you two want to truly try, compromises are always around the corner. My Daddy always wanted a Kitten/Little, but I am a Puppy/Little. Yet without him realising he would steer me towards kitten stuff (which is almost offensive), so we sat and discussed. Then we found out Daddy actually didn’t want a Kitten, he thought he did because of porn. What he wanted was a Primal, and behold! Daddy has a canine streak in him too! So talking these things out, doing research and being open minded (him just as much as you) could make this work.

 

Now... that is if you even WANT to try. You need to be honest, mostly with yourself. Are you comfy ever trying to assert some form of control over your Dom? Are you willing to try? If your answer is a hard no, you need to tell him immediately. Because that means, in a huge portion, you two are NOT compatible. Because if he stays with you, that means he has to suppress a big side of himself. And I can say from personal experience: I grew to hate the man I was with because he made it so I couldn’t even mention my bisexuality. I resented him, and if he suppresses his side, he will, one day, feel the same.

 

And, as crappy as it would be, finding this out now verses five years from now is far healthier. Especially if you sit and talk as partners, as friends, lovers and whatever else you may be. Don’t make ultimatums, but be HONEST with what you can and cannot do. It might mean you two have to find more suited partners, but he’ll! He could because a really good little space friend. You’re never know.

 

Long story short - Communicate and BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND HIM.

Edited August 7, 2018 by Little Illy

[Guest Prat]

Well your dom is a switch and if you're not a switch then you're hardly compatible and if you don't feel comfortable with switching then it's really not going to work..

[Kaiser]

Your "Dom" is literally, by definition, not a Dom.

 

If you want a Dom, then look elsewhere. Really, how hard is that?

[WhysperKit]

Your "Dom" is literally, by definition, not a Dom.

 

If you want a Dom, then look elsewhere. Really, how hard is that?

 

A Dom can be a Switch. 

 

But if your Daddy is asking you to be more Dominant while they're in Little Space, there's one of two answers. Yes or no. If you aren't Dominant, no. If you think you might be a Switch and want to give it a go, yes. Otherwise he'll just have to make due without a Dom and you without a Daddy half the time.