Punished for watching a series and need opinion

[angelcaramel96]

Edited August 12, 2018 by angelcaramel96

[CymoP]

If I believed the subject matter of a TV show could potentially have a serious negative effect on my littles mental health or that it could trigger any previous mental issue/damage and revert any healing then I would also not allow my little to watch it.

 

In the past I have allowed my little to watch movies/tv shows but I have pre-watched it and told her which parts to skip. The tv show will still make sense because the subject matter which has been skipped is obvious, but there isn't the needed to watch those particular scenes.

Edited August 12, 2018 by CymoP

[Guest You're adorable.]

Hmm....Hmmmmmmm.....

 

Well... I don't think that anyone else besides you and your daddy can tell whether or not it is or is not okay to watch it. But from my point of view, what you watched is absolutely irrelevant. What's important is the fact that you have broken your Daddy's trust, as you very well explained. In my opinion, it's pretty simple. Your daddy set a rule for you (that you both have agreed on, I assume) and you broke it, so facing punishment is a sensible thing to do.

 

You and your daddy know your triggers the best, and he forbade you from watching it because of that (again, as you explained very well).

So, regradless of the series, I am going to give it a no. If you really wanted to watch the series, you should, for example, have watched it together with your daddy to minimalize the risk of triggering something and not breaking a rule that was set beforehand or agree on some other kind of compromise.

 

What I am happy about is that you understand what your mistake was and will be able to learn form it in the future. I hope the punishment will not be too harsh.

[SharkPrince]

The bottom line is before you are a little you're a fully grown adult person (assumably). Rules should always be first agreed upon, because if you're going round breaking it and lying it's not a rule you were comfortable with in the first place. You can always watch shows like this outside of little space anyway

[Guest Aetherr]

The bottom line is before you are a little you're a fully grown adult person (assumably). Rules should always be first agreed upon, because if you're going round breaking it and lying it's not a rule you were comfortable with in the first place. You can always watch shows like this outside of little space anyway

 

easy enough to say but i know of a few perfectly happy couples where the little/sub is easily triggered by certain things and usually doesn't have the sense or forethought to learn if something is going to be upsetting or not

or the little/sub deliberately doesn't look into things to place that duty on the dom its leaning more into TPE from what i have managed to understand

[SharkPrince]

easy enough to say but i know of a few perfectly happy couples where the little/sub is easily triggered by certain things and usually doesn't have the sense or forethought to learn if something is going to be upsetting or not

or the little/sub deliberately doesn't look into things to place that duty on the dom its leaning more into TPE from what i have managed to understand

 

But this doesn't seem to be either of those situations as the original poster is clearly unhappy about not being able to watch it, and having seen the first season knows the basic themes of the show

[Guest Dean]

You are an adult. As an adult, you can watch what you want, when you want, and how you want. You can even watch porn if you want.  You also don't have to be in little space to watch things, so just watch it in your adult space. As for triggers, you should be and are probably very aware of what yours are. If you think that something in the show could trigger you or if you feel it is starting to trigger you, take a break from watching or skip that part of the show. Again, you are an adult.

 

The other part of this is that you are in a relationship that involves a power dynamic. You shouldn't have been dishonest with him. Honesty and communication are key in any relationship. 

 

As for rules, you both need to agree on them. It sounds like he made a rule that you didn't agree with. Even though he had your best interests (to him) in mind, you (obviously) didn't agree with the rule even if you verbally said so. Rules can never be one sided and must be agreed upon by both parties. It is a relationship between adults and communication (again) is one of the most important parts of any relationship. 

 

Bottom line: Watching what you want is fine. Being dishonest about it is not.

[Guest Arc]

Of course it's okay to watch it. As adults we are capable of deciding to watch whatever we want. However, you did break a rule that was set for you and in my opinion that's what's not okay. If you did not like or agree with the rule you should have discussed it with your daddy rather than just going ahead and doing as you wanted. Communication is so important and it's not that hard to do.  You could have even come to a compromise where he watches it with you or he tells you what parts to skip. There is nothing wrong with watching the show imo but there is something wrong with lying and breaking rules.  

[Guest little_ballerina]

If you don't want to agree with something, talk about it and settle it one way or another right there and then.

 

This isn't about what other people think about your Daddy's decision, whether it was 'right' in some objective way (agreements are private) -- it's about being accountable to what you agreed to (with this tv show but also by agreeing to allow your Daddy to make such decisions for you in the first place). It's about you breaking those agreements by being sneaky afterwards (doing the thing you agreed not to) and then being deceptive on top of that (the attempt at lying). It's also about leaving your Daddy feeling disrespected and powerless (in his relationship generally and to protect you specifically).

 

Being little isn't an excuse or some mitigating factor in taking responsibility for our agreements (and relationships). You don't want it? Then don't agree with it! Make him understand why. Even in a TPE with sub littles, typically your DD wants to know all about your thoughts & feelings and will consider them as he makes his decision. If you don't want your Daddy making these types of decisions for you, don't agree to that relationship dynamic. I think any discussion about the tv show after the fact is misdirection. This whole thing is incredibly disrespectful, but then I'm not a brat -- perhaps it's different for littles with a brat element (that the Daddy wanted/accepts).

 

When I rub up against a rule -- I'm not allowed to drink alcohol, for example, so when out with friends and they offer me a drink and I say no, I remember why Daddy made this rule (my protection/safety -- bad things can happen to drunk girls) and it makes me feel good, not bad. I get the warm fuzzies (Daddy loves me feeling) rather than feel like I'm missing out. It sounds like maybe you need to get better at predicting what's going to give you the fuzzies and what's going to feel frustrating to miss out on and learn how to be less passive at expressing how you feel about it at the time. Talking about how much the show means to you after you've been doubly deceptive (sneaky & lied), is really too late.

 

Just learn for next time, predict better, don't be passive (express your thoughts and feelings) and if you get it wrong (it's harder to go without than you thought), suck it up and hold to your agreement or talk to your Daddy again about it, tell him it's tempting etc, get his help before you do anything bad. More communication, more openness is always a good thing in relationships but in any relationship with any kind of 'loving power dynamic' (one has the right to make decisions/punish but ultimately for mutual benefit etc), communication & openness become vital in keeping things functional/balanced/without resentments etc. You've got to be able to trust one another.

 

For some us we're in a D/s type dynamic 24/7 even if we're not being little 24/7. Rules therefore can be 24/7. I guess it will be different for different littles depending on their exact dynamic (some might only have rules while regressing and could watch the tv show when not being little). My relationship doesn't work that way. Sounds like OPs doesn't either.

[Knoxdom]

I personally have very strong opinions about the show and its subject matter, and while you as an individual and an adult do have a right to watch what you want, and rules restricting what you watch can only exist with your consent, I'm also of the opinion that nobody should really watch that show because it romanticizes and glorifies some things that really should not be romanticized or glorified in the slightest, so I'm torn. 

If it genuinely is a trigger risk and it has a negative impact on your mental health then I think it's a reasonable rule. It's completely possible to like things that take a serious toll on our mental well-being. That being said if you never agreed to the rule or never agreed that it is his place to determine what you can and can't watch it sounds like that's a point that you need to discuss in an adult manner, rather than just ignoring it.

[kittyboo]

Littles are adults who can watch whatever the hell they want.

 

If you didn't agree with the rule you should have said so and if you did say that but he said it was a rule anyway then that's wrong. You could have just watched it together if he was that worried, you watched season 1 and were fine so meh. Lying is silly, you both should have communicated about it better.

[XmochiX]

This is the kind of rule that I, personally, would not tolerate. Even if I do identify as a little, I should be able to watch whatever the hell I want and so should you. I have enough common sense to know that if I find a scene in a movie triggering, I turn it off and find something else to watch. Your Daddy should trust you to do the same.

[Guest DeOriginalMittens]

too many people to tag, though I agree with You're adorable and little_balerina most of all. The statement stands, if she's an adult and watch whatever she wants, and is adult enough to make a decision, she was adult enough to agree on the rule. She could of said, no, she didn't. If you say something asinine as: "Well she was pressured" Then you're wrong, she's an adult. She can't feel pressure because she can make concise decisions on her own. IF SHE CAN'T then obviously she can't make concise decisions on what to watch. I know many people who HATE horror films, it scares, them, gives them nightmares, and terrifies them through the night. But they still do it. Many go into depressions and paranoia over time from it. They can't regulate themselves, and even if it is seen as their choice, it could be an addiction, or in a medical term people won't confuse.. habit. (try listening to linkin parks breaking the habit, might make things a bit more clear about how addiction is a habit that is difficult to break.). So the point stands, if she's an adult and can watch it, she is an adult and can determine rules. Which honestly pushes aside any notion you have of a person controlling or manipulating another individual because.... They have the choice to say no and still don't. So according to anyone making said claim, is basically saying mental control and manipulation doesn't exist. 

 

To the Original Poster: No, I am not saying that last thing is what is happening, I am basically using their logic and saying they are wrong for disagreeing by using their logic against them. (will be attacked for this later but honestly, don't care what anyone but my partner thinks of me, hate me all you want, makes no difference to me, I am free from superficial behavior and attacks.) I think your daddy did what was right, I agree with him. 

 

To those who can't understand what I am getting at, don't reply. if you can't understand what I am saying or meaning, then you can't formulate anything against it or for it and may be corrected, then you'll get upset at being corrected at what I ACTUALLY meant, and then just get defensive and only call names or make fun of, instead of proving a point which just proves you to be jerks.. 

[Siphy]

It's a very difficult subject as some littles and cgs struggle with PTSD, and other things that may result in a serious negative effect triggered by something they should avoid. In my experience a lot of the people who have a difficult with certain things or topics also have a difficulty staying away from their triggers as well, some even doing it for self harm reasons or to put themselves down.

 

In my opinion if the little has a fragile mind, and would get seriously hurt from watching something, then they shouldn't be disallowed, they should actively be helped to avoid it. If a little loves being submissive and dominated, but has serious triggers when it comes to subjects like rape, then they would seek out movies like 50 shades, but could potentially end up really scared and hurt afterwards. Being proactive, knowing your partner, and helping them lead a healthy every day life is an important aspect. Rules like never watching R rated content might be okay for some couples, but most of the time that's an incredible restrictive and potentially harmful rule that boarders on abusive.

[neko]

I personally wouldn't watch the show (again) because the last couple episodes get extremely violent and gross

 

However, if you want to watch the show and don't want to be told what you can and cant watch, you should be talking to your daddy about it instead of puropsely breaking a rule you dont like.

[xBabydollx]

I believe a little can watch the show. I watch it. I love horror, blood, gore, paranormal, supernatural and all the creepy awesome stuff films have to offer. The "themes" of the show doesn't bother me in the slightest. Not everyone in the world is so easily triggered, and I think ppl forget that. Not every little is always in littlespace either, so things can be separated (littlespace vs "big" space). If someone feels triggered, it is very easy to turn something off or not engage in it in the first place. Not everything is meant for everyone. As for the situation with ur Daddy, I hope it is something u can learn from. It's never ok to lie to a partner, and if u agree to a rule it should be expected to be followed through, otherwise it shouldn't have been agreed to in the beginning.

[Maarloeve]

holy young gillian anderson, batman!

 

i'd say if you were specifically triggered by s1 then s2 might be a bad idea. otherwise, we are all adults here.

[Chi]

this whole thing is super cute <3

imho i don't think you should be punished but i'm not your daddy so what do i know hehe

 

although i regret my mistake by watching 13 reasons why season 2 final episode by myself and not with daddy like he asked, i ended up feeling sick and scared >)<

[LittleKitten13]

I think that 13 Reasons Why, both book and show, need to be watched only when ANYONE watching is in a good place mentally, regardless of caregiver or little.

 

EDIT: Papa says it isn't little friendly though.

Edited August 19, 2018 by LittleKitten13

[Little Illy]

[Trigger Warning]

 

I didnt read all of the responses but I feel the need to point out one BIG thing here:

 

Maybe he has forbidden her from watching it due to her own mental illness or associations. 

 

13 Reasons Why was an attempt to spread awareness about the increasing trends in suicides in young teens. It was meant as a way to show how name calling, bullying and all of the essential crap that happens in grade school can lead to serious mental discourse. It was meant to be a motivator for young minds to seek help before things get to far, even if they are the ones bullying someone else. It was developed like Inside Out - as a narrative and a argument of awareness.

 

However. The show has absolutely failed in this regards. It has been analyzed and deemed that it does more mental harm than good. That when teens watch the characters "realizing the errors of their ways" it is reinforcing a concept that is lethal: that killing yourself will FINALLY allow people to open their eyes to their horrible actions. It doesn't stress the importance of reaching out, instead it highlights revenge in the most rudimentary guilt trip ploy. It feels like it was produced by a teenager in that the show got bogged down in the make believe issues instead of clarifying the issue that is VERY REAL in our society today. 

 

So with all due respect to those who do not have a strict rule system or who aren't in a TPE, but limiting viewable shows can easily be normal depending on the agreed upon dynamic. As for this specific show - her Daddy knows WAY more about her than anyone one of us. This show could cause her mental damage versus a casual viewing experience. 

 

My opinion of the show is that it is destructive and needs to be taken down immediately. As a person who has lost 6 people to suicide and a survivor myself, I am disgusted with this series as it does nothing but glorify death in its own backwards way. I don't know if any of you all had someone commit suicide in highschool, but it wasn't this great revelation. There was one day where the entire school was shocked. Another 2-3 for those friends closest to get the help they needed to deal. And then a following day after the funeral when the entire school would almost be silent. But then, high school moved on and no one spoke a word. This happened 11 times in my school system with people my own age. There is nothing glorifying about it. There is none of this "oh em gee, I see what I did now! I was so wrong!" Its just the devastated friends and family trying (and most of the time failing) to get their head back in their grades, because they are forced to, and to brush it off. As all the adults would want from you. "Don't dwell, she would have wanted you to be happy." We weren't supposed to think about it, to truly talk about it other than "yeah I am handling it okay." What really and truly happens to a school plagued with suicide is the realization that... no one actually cares. Asides from immediate friends and family, the person fades almost immediately. Sure they get a photo in the yearbook, and mentioned at assemblies and celebrations. But no one truly holds that person in their heart. The school body forgets and moves on. Until the next one. I have a tattoo on my ankle with 3 candles for those 6 I lost. I purposefully got them because those friends fade; Ashley, Chase, Cierra... names are forgotten, faces can never be remembered. Even now, as their good friends, 7-10 years later I can't remember three names, but I remember the memories. It is appalling that they still mean so much to me, but I don't know their last names and get their first names confused sometimes.

 

THIS is the reality of suicide. THIS is what happens. Not that bullshit on 13 Reasons Why. Not when suicide is an actual epidemic in your school. Not when it isn't a pretty young girl. Not when it isn't exploited. Suicide is horrible, is disgustingly sad and alters your entire perception of yourself and the person who passed. Suicide is a cancer in its own rights, and this show does nothing but help spread it.

 

Because this does nothing but give the depressed student, the bullied student, the abused student, etc an excuse to end things. Not understood? This will show them who you are. They are horrible to you? This will make them feel badly about it. Teachers did nothing? Now they will truly feel powerless, just like you did. Parent's neglected you? They don't have to worry about that anymore. Don't want to live, yet don't want someone else to get hurt? The world will see and that person/those people can't hurt anyone else again.

 

This show caters to the mentally ill and misunderstood and basically says "suicide will make everyone understand what they did or what has been done to you." Which is NEVER the case. Never. And to promote this is to inherently tell someone in that position that suicide is the best option. We are presenting this to CHILDREN! High school is hard enough, why the fuck do we want to give them a popular TV series saying all of those deep and dark insecurities... are true. That death is when everything comes to light. That death makes everyone re-evaluate their ways. That death makes your experience matter more.

 

I digress.

 

If the OPs relationship with her Daddy means he screens what she can view, there is nothing wrong with that. As for my opinion about the trainwreck of the show, it is above. I am terribly sorry if I offended anyone as that is not my intent. I just feel very strongly about a show depicting something I grew up living in.

Edited August 19, 2018 by Little Illy

[Guest Aetherr]

 

[Trigger Warning]

 

I didnt read all of the responses but I feel the need to point out one BIG thing here:

 

Maybe he has forbidden her from watching it due to her own mental illness or associations. 

 

13 Reasons Why was an attempt to spread awareness about the increasing trends in suicides in young teens. It was meant as a way to show how name calling, bullying and all of the essential crap that happens in grade school can lead to serious mental discourse. It was meant to be a motivator for young minds to seek help before things get to far, even if they are the ones bullying someone else. It was developed like Inside Out - as a narrative and a argument of awareness.

 

However. The show has absolutely failed in this regards. It has been analyzed and deemed that it does more mental harm than good. That when teens watch the characters "realizing the errors of their ways" it is reinforcing a concept that is lethal: that killing yourself will FINALLY allow people to open their eyes to their horrible actions. It doesn't stress the importance of reaching out, instead it highlights revenge in the most rudimentary guilt trip ploy. It feels like it was produced by a teenager in that the show got bogged down in the make believe issues instead of clarifying the issue that is VERY REAL in our society today. 

 

So with all due respect to those who do not have a strict rule system or who aren't in a TPE, but limiting viewable shows can easily be normal depending on the agreed upon dynamic. As for this specific show - her Daddy knows WAY more about her than anyone one of us. This show could cause her mental damage versus a casual viewing experience. 

 

My opinion of the show is that it is destructive and needs to be taken down immediately. As a person who has lost 6 people to suicide and a survivor myself, I am disgusted with this series as it does nothing but glorify death in its own backwards way. I don't know if any of you all had someone commit suicide in highschool, but it wasn't this great revelation. There was one day where the entire school was shocked. Another 2-3 for those friends closest to get the help they needed to deal. And then a following day after the funeral when the entire school would almost be silent. But then, high school moved on and no one spoke a word. This happened 11 times in my school system with people my own age. There is nothing glorifying about it. There is none of this "oh em gee, I see what I did now! I was so wrong!" Its just the devastated friends and family trying (and most of the time failing) to get their head back in their grades, because they are forced to, and to brush it off. As all the adults would want from you. "Don't dwell, she would have wanted you to be happy." We weren't supposed to think about it, to truly talk about it other than "yeah I am handling it okay." What really and truly happens to a school plagued with suicide is the realization that... no one actually cares. Asides from immediate friends and family, the person fades almost immediately. Sure they get a photo in the yearbook, and mentioned at assemblies and celebrations. But no one truly holds that person in their heart. The school body forgets and moves on. Until the next one. I have a tattoo on my ankle with 3 candles for those 6 I lost. I purposefully got them because those friends fade; Ashley, Chase, Cierra... names are forgotten, faces can never be remembered. Even now, as their good friends, 7-10 years later I can't remember three names, but I remember the memories. It is appalling that they still mean so much to me, but I don't know their last names and get their first names confused sometimes.

 

THIS is the reality of suicide. THIS is what happens. Not that bullshit on 13 Reasons Why. Not when suicide is an actual epidemic in your school. Not when it isn't a pretty young girl. Not when it isn't exploited. Suicide is horrible, is disgustingly sad and alters your entire perception of yourself and the person who passed. Suicide is a cancer in its own rights, and this show does nothing but help spread it.

 

Because this does nothing but give the depressed student, the bullied student, the abused student, etc an excuse to end things. Not understood? This will show them who you are. They are horrible to you? This will make them feel badly about it. Teachers did nothing? Now they will truly feel powerless, just like you did. Parent's neglected you? They don't have to worry about that anymore. Don't want to live, yet don't want someone else to get hurt? The world will see and that person/those people can't hurt anyone else again.

 

This show caters to the mentally ill and misunderstood and basically says "suicide will make everyone understand what they did or what has been done to you." Which is NEVER the case. Never. And to promote this is to inherently tell someone in that position that suicide is the best option. We are presenting this to CHILDREN! High school is hard enough, why the fuck do we want to give them a popular TV series saying all of those deep and dark insecurities... are true. That death is when everything comes to light. That death makes everyone re-evaluate their ways. That death makes your experience matter more.

 

I digress.

 

If the OPs relationship with her Daddy means he screens what she can view, there is nothing wrong with that. As for my opinion about the trainwreck of the show, it is above. I am terribly sorry if I offended anyone as that is not my intent. I just feel very strongly about a show depicting something I grew up living in.

 

 

 

 

i honestly could not agree more, thank you for telling this story!

 

as someone who has also had numerous suicide attempts, being told your death will be an eye opener to others does not and will not help, being told it will get better and you will become stronger and wiser for the experience does (in hindsight)

 

the best thing you can do in a toxic environment is get away from it and that is why this little's daddy did the right thing considering the unique situation here!

Edited August 21, 2018 by Aetherr

[SamL]

Bottom line: Watching what you want is fine. Being dishonest about it is not.

 

Well said.  Reminded me of that piece of 'apropos for the times' political wisdom, it's never the crime, it's the cover-up.

[sopiedarling]

Personally I think 13 reasons why should be taken down from Netflix. It has romanticized suicide imo. I think no matter what nobody should watch it. I might get some hate but that’s just what I believe.