Needing Advice

[switch_ddlg]

I'm a switch and married to/living with my Daddy Dom who's home maybe 36 days a year if that. With his permission I have had a little of my own for quite a while and this relationship between the little (I'll call her Kitten) has been online and Long Distance. She will be moving in with us (well me..) within the next few months and I've never had a little IRL just LDR and online. I'm excited and was wondering if anyone (Big or Little) could give me advice or tips for anything really. I'm just shocked and excited and not thinking the best right now as far as planning.

[Little Illy]

Honestly? Dont plan.

 

When I came over for the first time to see Daddy for two months, we had all of these plans and expectations and fantasies and desires, etc. But none of them ended up happening the way we wanted them too. I was too shy, he was being cautious, we were really adapting to just being with one another after so long. And I reckon that will happen with you and your Little. Think of it like... hmmm... moving in with your best friend. You guys say "okay so THIS is SO gonna happen" but then everything else happens but that one thing. You guys will get excited, you guys will be nervous and all of that is okay.

 

A thing you can plan for are two things I recommend:

 

1. A mini vacation, even if it is at home. Maybe try to even do it when your Daddy is home, saying he is involved with the relationship between you and your little. Keep a few days completely free for you and her (and possibly your Daddy) to just be together. Just hang out, go on a day-date, play together, do something you both enjoy like gardening or swimming or shopping. Take that time to help alleviate the fact you all were both in an LDR. Let the newness and the realness sink in during those days.

 

2. Keep your normal routine. If you work, go to college, if you have activities you attend to, etc. Keep those commitments after the mini vacation. When you get with your little after being in an LDR, you both may be like Daddy and myself. Where we just wanna shut the entire world out and be together. That is not healthy, though a normal reaction. Maintain your routine and if you can, establish one for her. Routines help us normalize things, and with a third person moving into the house, a second little and your very own little all in one, normalizing this big change will take time. 

 

All in all you can plan until you are blue in the face. And some of it might stick. But this will be an emotional time for the both of you, even if those emotions are anxiety and shyness. So allow yourself to just kinda brace for impact and then balance everything out. But don't be so hard on yourself. Trust me, I know how daunting it can be, I flew over 30 hours to meet Daddy for the first time. But once she is there, everything will be alright.

[switch_ddlg]

Honestly? Dont plan.

 

When I came over for the first time to see Daddy for two months, we had all of these plans and expectations and fantasies and desires, etc. But none of them ended up happening the way we wanted them too. I was too shy, he was being cautious, we were really adapting to just being with one another after so long. And I reckon that will happen with you and your Little. Think of it like... hmmm... moving in with your best friend. You guys say "okay so THIS is SO gonna happen" but then everything else happens but that one thing. You guys will get excited, you guys will be nervous and all of that is okay.

 

A thing you can plan for are two things I recommend:

 

1. A mini vacation, even if it is at home. Maybe try to even do it when your Daddy is home, saying he is involved with the relationship between you and your little. Keep a few days completely free for you and her (and possibly your Daddy) to just be together. Just hang out, go on a day-date, play together, do something you both enjoy like gardening or swimming or shopping. Take that time to help alleviate the fact you all were both in an LDR. Let the newness and the realness sink in during those days.

 

2. Keep your normal routine. If you work, go to college, if you have activities you attend to, etc. Keep those commitments after the mini vacation. When you get with your little after being in an LDR, you both may be like Daddy and myself. Where we just wanna shut the entire world out and be together. That is not healthy, though a normal reaction. Maintain your routine and if you can, establish one for her. Routines help us normalize things, and with a third person moving into the house, a second little and your very own little all in one, normalizing this big change will take time. 

 

All in all you can plan until you are blue in the face. And some of it might stick. But this will be an emotional time for the both of you, even if those emotions are anxiety and shyness. So allow yourself to just kinda brace for impact and then balance everything out. But don't be so hard on yourself. Trust me, I know how daunting it can be, I flew over 30 hours to meet Daddy for the first time. But once she is there, everything will be alright.

Thank you for your input. I thought the planning thing wouldn't work much either but I am obsessed with having everything planned out (it's an OCD problem) and I just couldn't figure out what to do/plan.

[Little Illy]

Thank you for your input. I thought the planning thing wouldn't work much either but I am obsessed with having everything planned out (it's an OCD problem) and I just couldn't figure out what to do/plan.

I am diagnosed with three different OCDs - Spatial, organizational, and order. I totally understand. I didn’t realize you have OCD. A side note then:

 

Change your “planning” to “options”. Create multiple routines, multiple outlines of the dynamic, etc. essentially prep. Make a plan A, B, C, D, etc. it’ll satisfy the need to plan but also keep the flexibility I mentioned above. Hopefully this helps?