Being little 24/7

[Guest littlepuppycub]

I’ve got a question sorta and I haven’t been able to get much of an answer for it.

 

I’ve been wondering in there are any littles that are little 24/7 and stay home while their Caregiver is the one who works and takes care of them. Sorta like a CG/l TPE.

 

I’ve brought this up to people before because I’ve known for awhile that this is the kind of relationship I want and the majority of responses I’ve gotten aren’t very postitive at all..

 

So I’m now not sure that it’s actually a thing people in CG/l relationships do... and maybe I’m just odd or something..

 

So I guess let me know if you have any thoughts about it? Idk.

 

Thanks (:

 

Also I hope I’ve posted this to the correct area. I’m sorry if I haven’t

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

LET ME PLAY YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE

 

What are the negative responses you’ve received, firstly? I’m a curious little beaver.

 

My Daddy and I are in that type of relationship currently and have been for about a year. He’s the tits.

I’m not into age regression, so I’m still functioning like an adult rather than him having to treat me like an actual baby. <— in case 24/7 Little to some means waddling around in the mental realms of Little Space.

 

I do a lot to look after my Daddy though. I don’t expect him to go to work, make money to spend on me, give me a home and give nothing back. I love the intestines out of him daily.

 

I think the negative responses stem from people disagreeing with someone openly ‘wanting’ to be a sugar baby type in a relationship, and seemingly leaving all the responsibilities to the Daddy. But the thing is, there are also Daddies who want that in a relationship too.

 

Mine does for example, which is still weird and new to me.

We’ve been together about 6yrs, married for 5yrs.

I don’t think our version of a relationship undermines either participant.

 

It does need to be a discussed and approved addition to the dynamic though.

If you’re only looking for a Daddy who’s happy to do all those things for you or bust- you’re limiting your options a little bit. I think unless they’re looking for a 24/7 homebaby initially, it’s something you have to build up to post-establishing-a-relationship.

 

 

*plays self out*

[Guest littlepuppycub]

LET ME PLAY YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE

What are the negative responses you’ve received, firstly? I’m a curious little beaver.

My Daddy and I are in that type of relationship currently and have been for about a year. He’s the tits.

I’m not into age regression, so I’m still functioning like an adult rather than him having to treat me like an actual baby. <— in case 24/7 Little to some means waddling around in the mental realms of Little Space.

I do a lot to look after my Daddy though. I don’t expect him to go to work, make money to spend on me, give me a home and give nothing back. I love the intestines out of him daily.

I think the negative responses stem from people disagreeing with someone openly ‘wanting’ to be a sugar baby type in a relationship, and seemingly leaving all the responsibilities to the Daddy. But the thing is, there are also Daddies who want that in a relationship too.

Mine does for example, which is still weird and new to me.

We’ve been together about 6yrs, married for 5yrs.

I don’t think our version of a relationship undermines either participant.

It does need to be a discussed and approved addition to the dynamic though.

If you’re only looking for a Daddy who’s happy to do all those things for you or bust- you’re limiting your options a little bit. I think unless they’re looking for a 24/7 homebaby initially, it’s something you have to build up to post-establishing-a-relationship.

*plays self out*

Thank you! (:

It’s been awhile since I mentioned it to anyone but some of the responses I’ve gotten are “that’s just a sugar baby and no one wants that” or “that won’t happen, it’s just you being lazy” stuff like that.

[Kitten Fluff]

I am mostly little every single day. I try to be in that space because I have depression, and it..Lessens it if that makes sense. Bigspace is a mess. I dont like it. I like to act like an innocent child and pretend my world isnt falling apart. 

[Guest Arc]

As long as its what you and your partner (or potential/future partner) want, then it doesn't matter what other people think. Screw them and their negative responses. If it works and makes two adults happy in a safe way then there's nothing wrong with it. ^^

 

My only personal concern with those kinds of relationships is if you don't have a way out if you ever need it. So only do it with someone you trust to be there for the long term. You don't want to suddenly be thrown out with no money and little possessions and no work experience to get a job should anything ever happen. And you also don't want to be stuck in a bad situation if you're unable to leave because you have no money or work. 

[prince eefy]

my daddy doesnt like me being in little space 24/7 cause he said then i'd become too dependent on him and he doesn't have the mental energy to baby me always. it's a teensy bit upsetting, but i understand. i try not to go in little space 24/7 now or be in it all the time. it is hard some days though to stop myself.

[Little Illy]

*Waves* Forum promoter of TPE in the CG/L (specifically DDlg aspect) lifestyle.

 

Daddy and I hope to one day fully achieve a DDlg TPE that encompasses every aspect of our life. What everyone needs to realize is that TPE doesn't happen at the same pace as a DDlg, MDlb, or just CG/L. TPE requires so much more than just a normal connection, a DDlg connection and more than just a BDSM connection (for some). What TPE requires is literally the utmost trust in someone. And I am sure a lot of people are going "Illy, I have to TRUST my partner before we get into a relationship." 

 

No. You don't understand. TPE isn't just setting out rules, rewards and punishments. Its not just about calling him Daddy or Sir or being a good little girl or boy. A total power exchange is when the sub or little or whomever relinquishes all of his or her power to their partner. Money? Daddy controls it. My health? Daddy is monitoring it. Work? Daddy make sure I am safe and sound and diligent. Me? I obey Daddy's words, and not just for play or rules, but when we are out and about and he changes all of the plans. I listen. When you enter into a legit TPE, the person who is giving the power 'loses everything' if looking in from the outside world. But what they are actually gaining is mental freedom.

 

Overall a TPE is wildly dependent on the individuals who want it. Everyone decides what they want to relinquish in forms of control. However, a major aspect is a CG/L TPE isn't just littlespacfe 24/7. Sure, some littles do live that way, but even in a TPE that isn't necessarily the norm. It is very difficult to conduct a 24/7 littlespace and try to work out your adult life as well. So, typically, when a TPE has the little in littlespace 24/7, that little isn't normally working, may or may not have children, but doesn't honestly have too many responsibilities. And there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! However, without a Daddy who can fully support 2-3 grown people on his own then, a 24/7 littlespace TPE isn't really likely (again, not 100%).

 

Before Daddy and I hit a snag in our dynamic (hey, moving countries can do that to a person....) our vision of a DDlg TPE was as follows:

 

- Daddy lays out a set of rules a daily chore list (taken from the weekly list) that I must finish by his say so.

- I have to clean as I move as housekeeping is my main responsibility (and was agreed upon).

- I am allowed to Alpha up as long as I accept the consequences.

- Daddy has the final say on anything against my health; pop, junk food, fast food, etc.

- Daddy will check and make sure I am taking care of myself properly; any and all medication, showering, brushing my teeth at least twice a day, brushing my hair, etc.

- Daddy handles ALL the financials even though I am working (of course, major things he asks's for his LG's opinion).

- I have to make sure my phrasing is always thoughtful and filled with respect, and not just towards Daddy.

- If I am upset, angry, fucking pissed off, and need to vent it, I do it in a way fitting my role, identity or with Daddy's permission.

 

You can see how a lot of these aren't just the normal "bedtime is 10:30pm," "Drink 8 glasses of water a day," "No bad language," and so on. But instead these things are areas where Daddy monitors to make sure I am taking care of myself, as an adult should. And if I slip he steps in. We do so in a DDlg frame so we remain rooted in the dynamic, but these things are 'more' than just a normal CG/L exchange. In a world where the little can't say 'No,' phrasing, understanding and mutual respect keeps everything glued together. Because a TPE is essentially a dynamic where the little cannot say 'No.' The little can disagree and do as he/she wishes, but it is always within the TPE. 

 

Of course I am not saying those who are in a TPE can never say 'no' when something goes against their beliefs. But if you are in a TPE like something like Daddy and I have/are working for, 'No' isn't really an option. Now, no matter what dynamic, if something is hurting you mentally, physically or in any other way, if you are hella uncomfortable or do not trust what the partner is doing - SCREAM NO AND MAKE IT STOP! Regardless of the dynamic, everyone has the ability and the responsibility to say no to the things that hurt them. 

 

A TPE can easily be a situation where partners have essentially agreed to not 'step out' of the dynamic to do any discussion. I would never recommend this to new members, those new to TPE, new to BDSM, new to relationships or just inexperienced to jump into a TPE that does not involve stepping out. Simply put, if a partner is not happy with how the relationship is going, I always recommend they step out of the dynamic and talk to one another as boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, wife/wife, bf/bf, and so on. Basically as the competent adults you both are, not as the Daddy and the Little. However, in a TPE it can easily be the case where 'stepping out' isn't an option. Instead of stepping out, they may have a phrase to signal they need to discuss something heavy - and then do so while in the dynamic. This alone is why I never recommend a newbie getting into a TPE. A lot of TPEs don't want safe words (which I wholly disagree upon and think its unethical, but to each their own), let alone aren't as straightforward and chill as a normal DDlg relationship may be.

 

Now, of course, this is coming from a person who is ultra submissive, massively Alpha, wholly little and a playful pup. I need a strict Daddy with a firm hand and mettle made of steal. Not everyone needs this drastic level of TPE, which is great! As I started out - TPE are wildly up the individuals. But a TPE vs a Super Strict DDlg is vastly different and more complex. Everyone experiences a TPE differently, as they should, so these are all things to think about. You are far from the first person to want a CG/L TPE and you aren't even close to being the last. You may be the most 'tame' TPE (Daddy and I both love BDSM, as an example), but it doesn't matter. You live the TPE you love but always, always, always, make sure you are communicating and being honest with your potential partner AND yourself. 

 

TPEs aren't really something to take lightly because most people take TPEs very seriously, considering the effort needed.

[SquishyUnicorns]

In a lot of ways we are like this. My husband is the provider, we're in a ddlg marriage. He makes the rules, takes care of the family, makes the money. I'm a housewife, I dont even drive. I look after our kids and I help by looking after him and the house. He says he never wants me to work, he wants me home and he'll take care of the rest. It works great for us

[Fireheart531]

This is a thing?! Like I'm allowed to be a little 24/7?!  

 

I've just recently discovered this side of myself and I was just told that it was a scene thing not a lifestyle thing. I was so disappointed. This is amazing news!

[little1grl]

This is something close to what I want, I think. I don't think I want to do a TPE, but I'd like to do something close to it,  I think. I'm saying I think a lot, because I was just in a non-DDlg relationship where we were trying for TPE and it wasn't really working (I kept pushing back... I seem to have a little bit of an unintentional brat in me) so we aren't really trying for that anymore. We never managed to get it to be TPE, but I think it was close to it, and I was really happy with what we had. But that was also my first relationship in the kink world... so I'm not sure how much power exchange I want in my relationship. I don't want TPE but how close to TPE do I want? I don't know. But I like the idea of living DDlg as a lifestyle more than as scenes. The person I was trying to be in a TPE with... we have sort of an open relationship now, where we are connected but not kinky, because he definitely wants a TPE and I'm just not able to do it. I have other priorities other than him, that I can't give up...and to him if it were TPE I'd have to make him and the relationship the priority in my life. I can't so TPE doesn't work for me. But I like what we had, even if it wasn't enough for him.

I definitely would want to work though.... my career is very important to me. I would be extremely unhappy to be a housewife or to be unable to have a job.

I like the idea of mostly being little when I'm done with work though.

Edited April 6, 2020 by little1grl

[daddymind]

My princess and I are hoping to do the 24/7 thing when we live together (LDR currently). We both have a desire for it, but I guess there is a period of time where you have to make sure it's right for both. It's difficult at the moment because she has to take care of herself more than she would like, though I do encourage her and remind her that it is absolutely necessary in the meantime. She's doing well.

 

It is something we WANT to do and make work though. A lot of it does depend on the sole income earner - that's a big factor in whether or not it can truly work. Increasingly, households need two incomes to make ends meet. But if the sole income earner is determined enough and has a decent income, they can provide (certainly helps if there are no kids). So I would say that, as well as BOTH partners wanting this, there has to be income stability from the CG, otherwise it will not work. Unfortunately, money is a defining factor in whether or not this dynamic will work long term.

Edited April 7, 2020 by daddymind

[Vampiress]

I'd very much desire a 24/7. Maybe not full TPE but close. Don't think it would be possible for it to be the sort of dynamic where he was the only provider. I have considered opening up my own business and I have ideas for that including crafting handmade stuff for a site like Etsy (this could be a great job for a little!), or maybe selling vintage toys online and/or getting a "booth" in an antique type store. If you can't go without a job you should totally consider something that still speaks to your little lifestyle. I've also considered starting an online store with dropshipping, you can sell little friendly things that way like toys and clothes (Oberlo is a great site to learn dropshipping). If you still want to feel little/submissive your CG could be involved in this business with you. Maybe they'll help handle the taxes or something and monitor your progress and keep you on track (great use of a chart with stickers!).

Edited July 8, 2020 by Batgirl