Question: LDR and Ghosting

[Guest amberhatch82]

I've been talking with someone who lives in a different country from me and just recently we both mutually decided that he would be my daddy, however this week things have been kind of questionable. He said he was sick Thursday and since than there hasn't been any real communication. I've texted and he might respond around 24 hours later, that happened for a couple days but the last two days have been completely silent from him. At the beginning he said he would never just up and disappear on me but I'm starting to wonder if I've been ghosted by him. How long should I wait before I give up on this relationship??? Even though this is causing me great sadness and anxiety, I still hope he is doing fine..... 

[Guest Princess Lonewolf]

Best advice I have, from personal experience, if he hasn't contacted you in the next 24 hours present him with your concerns about being ghosted. Utilize his reaction as a guide. I had this problem with my first daddy and brought up my concerns and he did ghost on me. That's not to say yours will but bringing your concerns to him will help you feel a little better to have voiced them and will give him the chance to prove he is worthy of being your daddy. I honestly hope everything works for the two of you because LDRs are hard without the lifestyle and are made harder with it.

[Guest amberhatch82]

Thanks Princess Lonewolf, I've already texted him my concerns but so far haven't heard anything from him, I'll give him a little bit more time before I walk away. I hope he gets back to me to cause I like him, he has been such a big help during my difficult times and helping me get more comfortable being a little, it's ironic that he is now the reason for all my anxiety and stress.... oh well, life happens and one can only move forward.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

there are a couple resources here on ghosting that you might find useful, but it's very likely that if you aren't getting more than a text message every day or so that your partner is just busy with life-stuff. i know it's easy to panic if you haven't heard from someone you care about after a day or two, especially if you're used to talking daily, but try not to jump to conclusions just yet!

 

as much as it sucks, it happens. this is a new relationship for you & it sounds like you guys need to talk about what daily schedules look like. 

your concerns are totally valid & you need to express them, but i've been on both sides of the "i'm too busy to text you back" conundrum. 

ask what his schedule looks like, & talk about how much interaction you are expecting versus how much he's willing (& able) to give before jumping to ending the relationship. 

 

i don't think you're getting ghosted just yet, but i think that having a conversation about expectations could save you both from it happening later on. 

good luck!

 

ps. if you don't hear back from him in a couple more days, then i'd definitely be concerned. 

your worries aren't invalid! 

[Guest amberhatch82]

Queen of Compersion it's been like 3 days of responding to my message 24 hours later and almost 3 days of no messages, it doesn't look promising for a daddy to ignore/not respond to scared messages from his little. Honestly I hoped he ghosted me and nothing bad has happened to him.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

Queen of Compersion it's been like 3 days of responding to my message 24 hours later and almost 3 days of no messages, it doesn't look promising for a daddy to ignore/not respond to scared messages from his little. Honestly I hoped he ghosted me and nothing bad has happened to him.

 

yeah, that's definitely much longer than just a busy period. 

i'm sorry you're going through this!