Coping with PTSD like response to aggression

[Quirkygrl16]

So I have found that when people get loud or aggressive I tend to shut down.. I work retail and it happens a lot and I'm not sure of how to cope with it..or kit let it bother me?? Like I literally want to just hide under the counter and not do anything... I sound so stupid but I am really struggling here..

[Little Illy]

You mentioned PTSD in your title - do you suffer from PTSD or is this what you think is happening to you when people are loud and aggressive? Because dealing with PTSD and dealing with sensitivity to aggressive people can be the same thing, depending on the person, however they can both be totally different things all together. 

 

If you do have PTSD - then I would recommend speaking to a professional. PTSD is not something that goes away on its own and normally an individual cannot cope with it, and function, for long a duration. Things I can recommend for PTSD is similar to those when someone is having a panic attack. Use grounding techniques to help you maintain control over your minds "when," "who," and "how." Try focusing on what you can touch that you know is okay, try to notice a smell and define it, just so it keeps you in the here and now. Though these are for anxiety attacks, when someone is aggressive, you may be emotionally reacting like an anxiety attack (wanting to hide under the counter and do nothing), and that can affect your mental state as well. But like I said - PTSD needs to be treated by a professional. 

 

If you do not have PTSD but just have the "flight" reaction vs the "fight" reaction to an aggressive person or situation, then I want you to know you are not alone. A lot of people have a sensitivity to loud people to aggressive behaviors and what have you, and it is practical to do so. This is your brain saying "danger - run/hide" and a lot people, especially a lot of women have the reaction to loud men. If you don't have PTSD, but rather a fear or reaction to these people then I would work on confidence and exposure therapy. If your mind goes to a terrifying place, then work as if you have PTSD and seek out a professional. Seek out a professional if this mentality is ruining your day-to-day life. Otherwise, sometimes realizing that you have control of the situation can take away a lot of those immediate emotions to aggression.

 

Let say you are at work, if you realize that there are people there, regulations in practice and a support system, try to focus on the fact you do have control. I have worked in the food and retail business for 12 years now. Rarely is the customer ever right, and remember this. You work in retail, but YOU ARE STILL WORTHWHILE! You are not their slave, their servant, their errand girl, their punching bag or anything else. Remember, you have the control to call over a supervisor to get this aggressive person away. You have the power to back up and simply say "I am sorry you feel this way, but how you are talking to me is inappropriate, let me get someone who can help you" and literally walk away. By law, you literally have the right to refuse service to any person who is threatening you, the place of business, the merchandise or other customers. If someone starts acting aggressive (looming over, yelling, clenching fists, etc), you as a worker, have a right to your safety, which means you can refuse service and/or walk away. You have the right and the power to remove yourself from a threatening situation.

 

At the end of the day, I want to assure you, you are not alone in dealing with this. A lot of people have this problem and I am sincerely sorry it is happening to you. I would recommend speaking to something about the PTSD or the PTSD like nature when this happens, the professionals can really help alleviate the suffocating feeling. I hope everything works out for the best

[Guest QueenJellybean]

i second a lot of what bree is saying above. 

 

i'm currently being treated by a professional for my C-PTSD due to trauma & i have a very similar fight or flight, freeze or flee panic response when confronted with aggression. 

so i definitely understand what you're going through.

 

apart from talking to a professional, i'd suggest specifically seeking out healthy coping mechanisms for these moments. 

stuff like breathing exercises, removing yourself from the stimulus (as soon as you can without losing your job, of course.), & tapping can be really helpful. 

i hope you find some solace soon!

[Quirkygrl16]

So I say PTSD because its triggered from an event from a few months ago. If I'm wrong I am definitely sorry and dont mean to offend anyone. I usually end up crying or having an anxiety attack so I really appreciate these ways to cope such as the tapping. At work no one knows about my other mental health issues so it's hard for me. What makes it even harder is the triggering event happened involving someone very close to me so its complicated and hard to get treatment

[Little Illy]

So I say PTSD because its triggered from an event from a few months ago. If I'm wrong I am definitely sorry and dont mean to offend anyone.

 

I usually end up crying or having an anxiety attack so I really appreciate these ways to cope such as the tapping. At work no one knows about my other mental health issues so it's hard for me.

 

What makes it even harder is the triggering event happened involving someone very close to me so its complicated and hard to get treatment

[Meep - I am on an iPad so I apologise in advance for any typos or errors.]

 

First, you did not offend ANYONE at all. Please don’t think you did, if that is how you feel, it is valid. I only asked to possibly clarify what could be the source of your anxiety. I promise that is all.

 

Jelly Bean suggest some very good coping mechanisms for panic attacks. Implement thouse and grounding techniques. Between the two it helps the person remain “grounded” while their mind tries to spin off (in a panic attack). Grounded helps especially if the person is tactile in nature. Touch is a strong stimuli and can sometimes force focus. But as I’ve mentioned, a professional who knows your details will be able to provide you with the specific tools you need personally.

 

I understand when someone close to you has become a source of angst and/or anxiety. Sometimes treatment is hard to find, but there are a lot of resources online. And if you’re in college, a lot of universities provide free peer and/or liscensed therapists for the students. It can also help if you have a close friend who understands you and your life. Maybe ask if you can simply just talk about the event that has lead to this reaction. Sometimes support can help make you feel less alone and therefore less stranded and powerless. And who knows, maybe they can offer support in a way that helps you overcome it.

 

I say again, seeking a professional is always the best course of action. However, basic support can help alleviate some aspects of it.

[Quirkygrl16]

[Meep - I am on an iPad so I apologise in advance for any typos or errors.]

 

First, you did not offend ANYONE at all. Please don’t think you did, if that is how you feel, it is valid. I only asked to possibly clarify what could be the source of your anxiety. I promise that is all.

 

Jelly Bean suggest some very good coping mechanisms for panic attacks. Implement thouse and grounding techniques. Between the two it helps the person remain “grounded” while their mind tries to spin off (in a panic attack). Grounded helps especially if the person is tactile in nature. Touch is a strong stimuli and can sometimes force focus. But as I’ve mentioned, a professional who knows your details will be able to provide you with the specific tools you need personally.

 

I understand when someone close to you has become a source of angst and/or anxiety. Sometimes treatment is hard to find, but there are a lot of resources online. And if you’re in college, a lot of universities provide free peer and/or liscensed therapists for the students. It can also help if you have a close friend who understands you and your life. Maybe ask if you can simply just talk about the event that has lead to this reaction. Sometimes support can help make you feel less alone and therefore less stranded and powerless. And who knows, maybe they can offer support in a way that helps you overcome it.

 

I say again, seeking a professional is always the best course of action. However, basic support can help alleviate some aspects of it.

thank you.i plan to try and find someone to talk to asap. Sadly I dont really have friends. I just have been dealing with some crazy triggers lately lol Edited September 2, 2018 by Quirkygrl16