Spoiling a Little monetarily, yay or nay?

[WhysperKit]

Do you think a Little should be spoiled in terms of buying things for them?

 

This conversation came up in a group I'm in... some thought that a Little should be spoiled and bought toys/items by their CG, others thought not.

[LeeMcSqueeze]

There is no should,

 

Only individuals’ preferences.

[smallprincesssarah]

That really depends on the dynamic of the couple, I think. It's just like any other relationship--some people will be into spoiling their partners with presents, while other people feel uneasy with this sort of treatment. 

 

Personally, I don't like having a partner spend a lot of money on me because it doesn't mesh well with my love language. 

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Should a Little have the expectation of being spoiled via monetary means? No.

Should a Daddy refrain from spoiling her, if that’s a way he wants to express his feels for her? Also no.

 

I guess ultimately I’d say ‘yes’. Just not the generic Veruca Salt level of spoiled.

If they’re bein’ a lil bitch, don’t give them candy and toys 5mins later.

 

(Substitute roles in and out from DD/LG/MD/LB/CG/L etc)

[Dominari]

Even though the Daddy is in a Dominate role I think that it is up to the decision as a couple. I suppose it could be looked at as an allowance. There are just a lot of different dynamics that could go into a decision like that. I personally wouldn't want a relationship that is materialistic and I think monetary falls into that. However, I have nothing against offering gifts; especially when my little isn't expecting it. I love to offer surprises and maybe sometimes that could be monetary.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

not to continue beating on a dead topic, but it's completely up to the couple. 

 

my love language is gift-giving. i've had to learn that giving gifts to others can make them uncomfortable, so i've learned to value small gestures & tokens of surprise/appreciation on the same level as gifts. The Giant also has this love language, so he likes to give me things, even if i don't ask for them. 

 

i think that a Little should be prepared to get their own things, but if they are comfortable receiving them from their loved ones, enjoy it! 

[PrinzeCharming]

Spoiling a person in a relationship can be a hit or miss. Spoiling too much can foster a partner who feels entitled, and expects more than they can appreciate. I am not saying someone entitled doesn't appreciate what is offered to them, but overgifting creates materialistic (conditional) love vs. unconditional love. It changes the mood and dynamics of the relationship. As Lee mentioned, it's based off individual preferences. These preferences, in fact, are the five love languages as Sarah mentions. I am familiar with these five love languages, and would recommend anyone to read the list provided. You can even take tests online to determine where you fall. 

[prince eefy]

it all depends on the couple. i personally love being spoiled but at the same time i feel bad whenever my daddy spends any sort of money on me ;v;

[Guest Aetherr]

if the CG can and wants to, and the little doesent mind, why not? but people shouldnt get into relationships expecting this.

[Guest Arc]

I don't think there is a general "should we do this/that" because every relationship or dynamic is different. If each likes and wants that, then go for it. You do you. If one is forcing or demanding it when the other is unwilling... then that's not healthy. 

 

Personally... I'm used to being my own person. I like getting my own things. It is nice when someone thinks of me and gives me something because they wanted, but I'd never think they should do it or expect it of them. For me it takes away from the kind gesture if they did it because they felt like they should rather than feeling they want to do that for me. ^^

 

But it's just a personal thing that needs to be discussed and decided within the relationship. Everyone is different and has different wants and expectations  

[LeeMcSqueeze]

Thanks for introducing me to love language smallprincesssarah!

It's nice to see everyone basically agrees that relationships are diverse and there are many ways to express love.

Im feeling very honoured to be part of this community

[Little Illy]

[This is written with the understanding that any illegal activities is not promoted nor encouraged or I consider healthy. So when discussing lifestyles, I am not promoting that side.]

 

Honestly, it depends on what you mean by spoil? Your spoiling could be my day-to-day and vice versa.

 

For example:

 

Daddy and I are working towards a 100% Total Power Exchange. One could argue Daddy spoils me because he handles the money. When in fact, it is due to our power exchange, not the inherent aspect of spoiling. "Daddy I really want this furniture set, do we have enough in the budget?" And we go from there. But he doesn't make expenses without informing me and obviously I wouldn't do the same.

 

And lets not forget that there is a lifestyle where one partner in the relationship essentially just spends all of the money while the other provides it with a few terms. We know what it is and people actually make a career out of it (I have legit seen a documentary about it). So though we find it weird, it is legit. To them. Just like some people like wearing a plug tail, some like TPE and others dont want any rules at all. It is just a different dynamic.

 

As for littles and monetarily gaining... honestly... I dont think it is anyone's business. People enjoy what they enjoy. They interact how they interact. And as long as they are both on the same page and agree to the 'terms' and expectations of their formed relationship, then no one really has a say. Some may look down their nose at it, but its just what works for that couple. 

 

So I don't think its necessarily a bad thing if a little wants to be "$o $uper $poiled" but the little needs to be honest and up front. And if a CG wants to dump a load of money on his little, he should be free to do so without judgement. That is his adult choice he has made. As long as there is no manipulation, no con, and no lying then I honestly do not see the problem with money being a contributing factor in a relationship (though I could never do that). What is an issue is when someone misrepresents themselves and expects money to rain on them for being a little. That mentality is wrong if they dont communicate their expectations. Same thing with CGs, it is wrong for them to spoil a little and expect sex out of it without discussing things like that first. "Your allowance is higher every time you 'help' Daddy," kinda thing. 

 

No one should feel ashamed just because others dont live that way or agree with it. What anyone should feel shame for is lying and deceiving. There is a vast world out there and I guarantee people can find more than one potential partner who would enjoy this exchange as well as those who would hate it. Just be honest with who you are and what you want I think it is healthier in general. 

[plutobaby]

This one is a hard one because I can see the appeal in gifts for littles and stuff like that, but I always feel really bad and almost uncomfortable with somebody spending money on me unless we've been together for a VERY long time and that hasn't happened yet.