Has LDR worked for any of you?

[LittleCelticLass]

Relation without sex is called friendship.

I disagree. There are many ways to be intimate with your partner without being able to touch. And many LDRs do see eachother when possible. Besides, sex is not always possible when together either. Nor does sex always mean people are in a relationship.

Edited October 19, 2018 by LittleCelticLass

[Aaziz832]

LDR can always work out if you’re willing to make it work! Have faith, and quite honestly, if there is isn’t a future in meeting in person, well you’re just wasting your time! HAve a goal behind a LDR and not just online hats and what not!

[SmartAssLittle]

I disagree. Nor does sex always mean people are in a relationship.

I agree.

[Guest Juddon]

LDR is a double edge sword. It revolves around trust and commitment from both sides. 

 

I support LDR, it can work and sometimes, you'll be really lucky if your S.O is the one. Just don't let people bother you. They'll be jealous, they'll have doubts. Not many people will support it, saying it's puppy love. But that has never broken my bond with my little that I dated for 4 years. That I was close to marrying. Hence, faith played its cards, and she ended up cheating on me for another older man. Who was closer and only a few minutes away. The problem with LDR, you never know what the other party is doing when you're not around. But don't be discouraged, I had a wonderful memory with my S.O. 

 

Just have a goal, reassurance and have a plan to meet one another. Only then could it stay healthy and survive. Living on empty goals and promises will only lead to an unsuccessful relationship. Never let anybody tell you it won't work. Many others have proven them wrong and are living with the person they love. It just depends, how committed you guys are ~  How willing the other party is to accept your schedule. How willing you are to work it out with them and how much you guys are willing to sacrifice. 

 

But to me, I fully support LDR. Still hoping to find my perfect little one, that I could visit and make her happy ~

[Guest Andromeda]

Like others have said, if you're willing to put in the work it can be successful. I've had two LDR and neither ended specifically because of distance. Online relationships can be just as meaningful and strong as in person relationships.

[Princess-Sha]

I am currently in a LDR, I've been with my daddy for almost 2 years. While we are in the same country so we can see each other somewhat regularly (I'd say right now it's at least every 6 months), distance can still be a bit of a bummer though. We've had our ups down like any other relationship but the distance can sometimes make things seem worse than they are, but so far we've always made it through. 

 

So I suppose what I'm trying to say is that it's certainly possible to have a healthy, loving LDR. It takes patience, time and effort from both parties, and honesty and communication are very much important for a successful LDR. I'd also recommend being on the same page for the end game of your relationship. Will you be moving to each other ect.

 

Keep an open mind to LDR's they can be fantastic!

[junebug0325]

Daddy and I are currently in a LDR. We met on this website in August 2018 and met in person for the first time in September. We have now made plans to move in with each other during June/July/August of 2019. We make an effort to see each other once a month, sometimes more than that if I need it due to physical/mental health reasons. 

 

LDRs aren't for everyone. I never expected that I would be in a LDR because I am a very clingy, needy, and emotional person. Especially when dealing with anxiety and depression, being away from Daddy is especially hard because he is one of the only people that can help me out of a depressive episode. 

 

They can work out, but just realize that LDRs don't last forever. They are just a temporary thing for a little while, until both parties are able to commit to living together or move near each other and see each other on a regular basis.

 

(P.S. Daddy says that he completely agrees and says I'm a "smart little princess"!  ) 

[Ddstrongdom]

Like pretty much everyone else said, it depends on the person.

 

I was a bit like you, all my relationships stared online because I just couldn't click in person, the rare few I was attracted to would make me feel so shy and nervous I could never actually get to know them. The couple I got a deep connection in person I couldn't help to see them as brothers... I loved them but there was no attraction.

 

That being said I did end up wasting time online because sometimes the guy would not be honest, too many married guys or just plain lonely who are not interested in ever meeting in person even if they won't admit it to themselves. So I changed my approach and it made a world of difference! I would give them basically 3 months to meet me in person, starting to mention it after the first month of so. If by month 3 they didn't have a date not too far off then I would either dump them or start talking to someone else so I could start to convince myself to let go. It saved me a lot of heartache but also gave me plenty of time so they knew the real me and I could get comfortable around them more easily when we met.

 

Funny enough Daddy (hubby) and I were acquaintances online for 3 years before we really became friends online, our friendship lasted a few weeks until it went to flirting and by the month mark we were thinking about meeting, everything moved pretty fast from there. He didn't fit into my little schedule since I never thought he was an option but the timing ended up being about the same. We both agree if we had started flirting from day 1 neither of us would have been ready for a relationship, my biggest worry when we met in person was lack of chemistry because of my weird adopting/friend-zoning habit with guys I had a connection before, but there was fireworks at first sight.

 

So yeah, I say don't put all your eggs in one basket, if a guy is not ready it's ok to be friends but don't commit until you meet in person. I have been there and it's super awkward if there is no chemistry and you already planned your life together!!!

Well Its good you are screening a bit for liars and people who dont actually care. Personally, I'm focused on finding that right person and even if I should visit another state to meet someone I really click with to me its worth it and I have enough money at least within the States. As it happens this is easier said than done and so I have been meeting as many people as I can both guys and girls but really looking for my future girl.

[Beatlesfan]

Ldr worked for me but we both entered the relationship with a thought that it would turn into a local relationship, but we didnt have a time table for it. I visited her a few times she had a newborn daughter so her visiting me was a nogo. I honestly dont know what would have happened if my mother hadnt passed away and when she did it took away the last link to where i had lived. Then i moved down to where she lived and two years later we are still together. Idk if you want a ldr to turn local but thats what i have on the subject.

[Guest Avi]

Im currently in an LDR. Im dutch and my girlfriend lives in the US. She's coming down to europe in the summer for a few weeks. This definetly softens the "burden" of an LDR, because you have a real date to look forward to. Im planning to move to the US before 2022. In the meantime, i am planning to go visit her either late 2019 or early 2020. We haven't planned anything beyond that. Honestly, an LDR requires so much patience and you really cant forget to make time for yourself.

 

As much as i love her, clinging onto your phone 24/7 just isnt healthy. Im a very affectionate guy, but i know from experience, that completely revolving your life around your SO doesnt lead to much good. Live your own life. Do your own things. When you do talk, you'll have a lot more to talk and be excited about!

 

Other than that, surprise your lover with a nice voice note, a video message, a heartfelt text.. some pictures..

 

And last but not least: be honest about any and all feelings! Be open. Its so fucking important. Communication is more important than anything, especially in LDR'S.

[Little kaiya]

I think LDRs can work if there is strong communication and honesty. People need to be honest not just with any potential partners but also with themselves.

 

Personally, I'm a very physically affectionate person and that physical, loving contact is incredibly important to me. Having someone physically present to go out and experience life is just too important in my life to entertain an LDR.

 

I'm not saying they're bad but for people like myself they arent really a viable option. Meeting a few times a year or even every couple of months just doesn't align with that desire for physical contact.

 

Unfortunately, I think there are a lot of people who place being in a relationship as more important than being honest with themselves about who they are and what they want. In those cases I think LDRs tend to fail because they dont fully commit but rather use an LDR as a temporary measure while they look for a physically present partner which isnt really fair to anyone.

 

Just my thoughts and 2 cents.

 

Little kaiya

[Guest Revurx]

I've never dated in person before. I'm a shy and reclusive person and I have difficulties holding conversations. But online my personality really shines. I can speak my mind much more clearly and am much more outgoing. It's due to this that I've been able to connect with my previous relationships. They've all been LD, and personally, for the right person I know I can wait, but as I get older I wonder if I'm wasting my time with trying LDR anymore. Honestly, I feel more comfortable with being introduced online because I can express who I am so much better, and my partner can see my personality at its fullest. But none of them have worked out yet, and I feel I might be wasting my time. I'm told constantly that LDR never work out, but I also feel like I'll never find someone who I can really connect with by traditional dating. I don't know. Has it worked for any of you?

 

There's plenty of successful ldrs and statistically, the amount of people in a ldr is increasing. Are you wasting your time? That depends on whether or not you're learning anything from the relationships that have failed and growing as a person each time. Are the same mistakes being repeated? If you look back on the failed relationships is there a common theme aside from the distance that ended them? If there is it's likely this same problem will occur regardless of it being a ldr. 

[Guest Mr Mister]

It's so refreshing to see people here taking about LDRs in a positive light, I'm in a LDR at the moment and tired of reading all the negative comments about it. Thanks for the fresh outlook

[Guest JB8945]

It takes effort but it can absolutely work. I was in a LDR with my previous little for around a year before we actually moved in together. Lots of calls, video chats and just chats in general through text can really make the difference. She would often like to get on skype when going to bed just to have me to look at and help talk her to sleep sometimes or read to her. Don't let anyone say that a LDR is impossible to make work. The ending had nothing to do with the LDR aspect, it was just a mutual split.

[Scarlettrambeller69]

I am currently in am LDR and it is technically my second LDR I am committed to. It's a three hour time difference as compared to my first one; four. And my first one went on and off for about two and a half years and earlier this year we took a break into where it was like us separating but not really saying so. It actually rolled over somewhat smoothly, after all her and I had been through. Anyways I met my current little on Facebook and she is a great cheery and spunky personality fit for me and when we first started talking and getting to know each other I didn't want to be her Daddy for the reason of hurting her by not being completely loyal but last Thursday we are officially dating and all I can say is I know it'll work if you try and I'm getting used to the time she is working or schooling so I am more regular with hitting her up. She has an adorable voice over the phone and such a cute way of talking I love being able to be involved with her even though it's LDR she's special and it's great to be able to really relate with her on alot of things

[Guest Kitty~]

I prefer LDR, over local relationships... thats because I enjoy putting in the effort to keep the relationship, I enjoy testing waters and testing myself....and over half of my relationships have been LDR. My husband and  I was LDR..before dating and we been together for almost 2 years. So they can work you just have to put in effort.

[Guest Pipa_Brook]

I tried LDR but it wasn't for me...

I am a touchy person and need physical contact with my daddy, also I am a much "braver / bratty" little when I am not with my daddy and we just talk online. Daddy and I try to meet up every week so I like the fact that I know there are consequences on my behavior in real life, otherwise I am just a real bratt and daddy is helping me to behave better and follow the rules.

 

I am just very lucky that I found my awesome daddy here in the Netherlands so I dont need to have a LDR.

 

bai bai yall

[Siniwit]

I don't know if a 50 mile distance is classed as LDR these days or not, but I've been with my little lady now for 10 months and we see each other (at a minimum) once every 2 weeks - and that visit tends to be for a 4 or 5 day stretch each time! Haha. More often than not she comes to visit me, and more often than not, she "persuades" me she "needs" to see me sooner than planned (I miss her too). We're basically at the point where we're practically living together half the time and the only things preventing us from doing so on a permanent basis are her University course (which is ending soon) and not enough funds (though that is gradually changing now). So, as far as I see it, it won't be long before we're sharing our lives on a more permanent basis, and I guess that means it's working out! There's talk of more than a promise ring being on her finger too.

All that said, my previous relationship was about a year and was over a much longer distance - transatlantic. The main reasons that didn't work out were her trust issues, my changing circumstances, and not enough money to see each other regularly, but crucially, a lack of equal effort. In the span of a year, we had planned to meet up several times but didn't due to anxiety, or money, or work or whatever; there was always something stopping us and it seemed we both made excuses not to. In the end, meeting up became the focal point and it soured the relationship to such an extent there wasn't really a way to continue. We both failed at that one and both could've tried harder, but in my opinion, I think a longer distance makes it easier to be more lazy with things. It gives a reason to not try so hard, and I feel if people aren't as in love as they feel they should be, they do slack off and it tends to unravel.

With my current, much happier and healthier relationship, from day one we both put in 100% effort and neither of us let the other back out of plans or find excuses and we actively encouraged each other to overcome fears and barriers. From the very beginning, we both nurtured each other and helped each other challenge our inner issues for the sake of prospective happiness. Within a month of messaging pretty much non-stop, we both were desperate to meet...

I suffer from social anxiety (among many other things) and so I was fully expecting the meet to go like my other previous meet-ups in years past where the anxiety would get the better of me and I'd either be embarrassingly late, no-show out of worry (amongst other things) or embarrass myself in-person (through physical manifestations of my worries and fears). Somehow, my will to see this girl had me there in reasonable time and before I knew it, I was in her bedroom! I did embarrass myself, but she looked after me and reassured me everything was fine when my head was telling me to run.

10 months later, I'm so grateful for the challenge and so glad she calmed me down and showed me that I was worthy of the love I'd been missing out on for so long. I'm her Daddy, her boyfriend and her equal 100% of the time and we work together each and every day, communicating as best we can to overcome challenges and issues. We never argue but always discuss calmly. We love and support each other and if one feels a little less loved than the other, we immediately reconcile that and both put the required effort in to put things right - and I think that's the key take-away from what I've said here.

Long distance relationships take time, effort, patience and trust. The most important element though, I feel, is effort. If you don't get equal measures of effort on both parts, it's a lot less likely to work out. It's absolutely not easy and we didn't get to where we are overnight. We're not perfect. We have our struggles. But the bottom line is we love each other unconditionally, consistently put effort in, have incredible patience with each other, give each other plenty of time both to be together and to be separate from each other and do our own things, and we 100% must always trust each other. If all those things are in place, there's no reason LDR can't be too dissimilar to any other relationship and no reason why it can't work.

Though all of the above is predicated on there being an intent to physically meet. For some, that may never be the intention, though I feel the same recipe applies, for success!

I'm happy to see so many success stories in this topic. We need more of that, and to those embarking on their LDR journeys, here's hoping we get more of that!

[daddymind]

LDR for a year and a half now. It's been wonderful for the most part. The difficult part is obviously the periods of separation but I'm lucky that I can basically fly over any time (as long as I have the funds of course - I'm trying to push myself with work so the financial hit becomes smaller and smaller). The first year was spent mostly video/voice calling (pretty much every single day). We then met twice in the 6 months following which was just amazing. We're planning on meeting possibly another 3 times this year and then want to get married some time within the next two years.

 

As much as LDR is inconvenient (and expensive!), the test it gives the relationship is like no other. To go through all that an LDR entails, and come through the other side (i.e. close the distance) gives the relationship a unique strength and history that you might not experience meeting someone locally. I'm not saying your seemingly perfect partner can't be found locally, of course they can. But there's something about the trials of LDR that forces you to use even more scrutiny when deciding if this is the right person for you. After all, who would put themselves through all that for just anybody?

 

What I would say is, at least one partner has to be flexible in terms of being able to travel. Ideally self employed and able to work remotely, or have prolonged periods of time off work. It also helps if the partner who is being visited has their own accommodation and can perhaps help out with travel costs. The more frequently and longer you can meet, the better. That way, you're not stressing so much about syncing up what might be very limited vacation time. You can fly when its cheapest, for example.

 

So I don't think LDR is for everyone, due to very real practical limitations. But if you or your partner has a good deal of flexibility, there's no reason why it can't work, and it is an amazing adventure.

Edited February 23, 2020 by daddymind

[mallowbite]

I've been in a LDR since August 2018. There's 1000 miles between us, and honestly, when I first met them I didn't think it would ever turn into a serious relationship because of the distance. With them it developed so naturally, we try to visit each other at least once a month, trading off each month who travels to who. We talk nearly every night and have longer dates over video calls. Sometimes it's been really difficult because it does get lonely, I do miss them a lot. With the right person, communication, and true understanding of each other it can work though. 

 

I think especially with caregiving relationships there's an added level of difficulty. It's harder to feel the closeness and build that special bond. My partner manages to be really good at it, but it depends on an individuals needs. 

 

They asked me to move in with them at Christmas when I was in their town to visit. So I'm moving there in April. It's really exciting and part of the reason I feel so ready for this next step is because of how strong our relationship has become over both time and distance. 

[Metalheaddaddy]

I've definitely felt that frustration at spending so much time with LDRs and feeling like I'm just wasting time. I'm glad I suck with it though. I know a vanilla relationship wouldn't feel the same as a ddlg one and now I got a real process who I actually met in person and is now planning to move in with me. Totally worth it.

[Guest Minister Judas]

I believe that any sort of relationship can work. As long as all partners are honest, upfront, communicative, and dedicated, anything is possible.

 

I have severe social anxiety and have severe anxiety with leaving home, which makes meeting people in a traditional manners impossible. That being said, I have found many partners and friends over the years through the internet and I absolutely regret none of them. Never let other people's opinion quash your own feelings.

[Guest mkz90]

LDR has not worked for me, per my previous experiences. In fact, my previous little and I had to part ways mainly due to the distance. 

Part of knowing if a LDR would work for someone is really just...knowing yourself. You have to be in a emotionally secure place first and foremost. Additionally, look inwards and figure out what your Love Language is. For me, I crave physical touch and quality time chiefly above things like gifts, acts of service, or words of affirmation. Because of this, it is genuinely hard for my needs to be met if those two are neglected for me.  I really don`t get hugs from family members, and even though I am a DD...I seriously love hugs and holding hands. 

LDR is always a case-by-case situation, and I always leave myself open to it with the right person.  It would probably be helpful to me to have some tentative plan for me and whoever I am dating to eventually meet up.  Without some sort of plan to ever bring it out of a LDR...I just wouldn`t feel invested in the relationship.

[Guest crayondaddy]

The thing is, ALL romantic or intimate relationship only have one of two outcomes. Either you're together forever, or the relationship dissolves (becomes platonic or ends entirely.) 
One has to consider that biases against long-distance are based in the belief that in-person relationships automatically have a greater chance of lasting just by virtue of being in-person. This is simply not the case whatsoever.

I've had in-person relationships that lasted three months, and LDRs that lasted years. At the end of the day, it is about the people and not the circumstances.