Almost 30 and a Little

[Tinka]

bla...bla.

Edited October 2, 2018 by Tiny_Tina

[Guest Danigirl1111]

I love this! So relatable. I think about these things constantly and ask the same questions! Edited September 21, 2018 by Danigirl1111

[Guest Aetherr]

i'm 26 and i still aint got my shit together, you arent alone i am a big believer in things coming when they come you will figure things out eventually, worrying about it may grey your hair (not literally atleast i hope, lol just a little joke)

Edited September 21, 2018 by Aetherr

[Guest Dulci]

Not exactly a spring chicken here either - I'm soon to be 28. I struggle with some of the same things as you; people don't think I'm as old as I am! I like to think that you are as old as you feel inside; and I still feel young!! (well some days I feel young - not when I look in the mirror and see eye bags and dull skin ) but I fully understand where you are coming from. As for getting your life together... I don't think anyone does!! 

 

I often feel out of place here and in the community, due to my age, 100% know that's in my head and no one is making me feel out of place. So I am glad you made this post, at least I also know I'm not alone! If a daddy does not want an "older little", their loss. They can have a preference of age, much like I do. I've never felt embarrassed or ashamed either; I have been reminded "how old are you again?" when I've been at work and been particularly childlike, but, eh, it's part of me and I accept that. 

[Tinka]

i'm 26 and i still aint got my shit together, you arent alone i am a big believer in things coming when they come you will figure things out eventually, worrying about it may grey your hair (not literally atleast i hope, lol just a little joke)

 

 

hahaha thank you so much Aetherr, you made me smile True, we must wait to see what life has in store for us. 

[Tinka]

Not exactly a spring chicken here either - I'm soon to be 28. I struggle with some of the same things as you; people don't think I'm as old as I am! I like to think that you are as old as you feel inside; and I still feel young!! (well some days I feel young - not when I look in the mirror and see eye bags and dull skin ) but I fully understand where you are coming from. As for getting your life together... I don't think anyone does!! 

 

I often feel out of place here and in the community, due to my age, 100% know that's in my head and no one is making me feel out of place. So I am glad you made this post, at least I also know I'm not alone! If a daddy does not want an "older little", their loss. They can have a preference of age, much like I do. I've never felt embarrassed or ashamed either; I have been reminded "how old are you again?" when I've been at work and been particularly childlike, but, eh, it's part of me and I accept that. 

I feel out of place here too. And sometimes it puzzles me, i say "hmmm in the outside world i dont feel old enough like they are and in this site i dont feel young enough like they are''. 

I feel that littles need to be in a structured program to not feel sad and if i cant do it on my own some times it saddens me.

To me its more difficult since i dont like teddy bears much, i dont want pacifiers, diapers, cute little things, pink, flowers etc. 

And outside, i am always so excited about silly things that i cant be fast enough to hide it and they look at me like that -->   

[Guest QueenJellybean]

i feel this on a deep, spiritual level.

 

while i'm not a little, i'm 27 years old, soon to be 28, & i have no idea what i'm doing with my life. 

 

i don't know if i want to get married, but i've been engaged before.

i don't know if i want kids. i've changed my mind a million times.

i have a master's degree in something i don't know if i want to be my career.

i'm about to change jobs. 

i don't know if i want to own my own home, or rent.

i don't know if i want to move out of the state. 

 

i don't know anything.

but honestly, i don't really ever expect to.

i'm going to be learning my entire life.

 & once i gave myself permission to not know stuff...

 

that's when i started learning about myself the most.

you aren't alone!

[Tinka]

 

 

 & once i gave myself permission to not know stuff...

 

that's when i started learning about myself the most.

 

 

 

This one hit me hard, since that is what has actually happened and its liberating. Thats actually how i learned about ddlg. 

Had spent 29 years in oblivion  

[StefanC71_UK]

Hi,

 

Just going to reply to 2 main points from your post, which by the way was beautifully written.

 

Let's start with our own ages. In October I'm going to turn 47. On one hand I feel past it, in terms if littles wanting me due to my age. On the other hand, while for the most part I have my shit together, there are times I don't, it's part of being human and sometimes life happens. But, i still feel young, i still act young when im aroumd other people, i can still be the immature one at work sniggering at innuendo, and get excited when I get concert tickets for gigs that are still months away.

 

Age is a construct, it doesn't really exist, so being older yet acting younger, it's all good, let the inner child out, Lord knows most people don't, but it's hugely beneficial in many ways when you do. From reducing stress, to simply remembering how to have fun.

 

And next, I've had a little who was 21, I've had a little that was 32, and a couple in between. Their age didn't bother me in the slightest. I'm interested in the person, not their age.

 

Be 30, be little, work out the detail whenever, own that shit, it's all you, and it's all good.

Edited September 21, 2018 by StefanC71_UK

[Tinka]

Hi,

 

Just going to reply to 2 main points from your post, which by the way was beautifully written.

 

Let's start with our own ages. In October I'm going to turn 47. On one hand I feel past it, in terms if littles wanting me due to my age. On the other hand, while for the most part I have my shit together, there are times I don't, it's part of being human and sometimes life happens. But, i still feel young, i still act young when im aroumd other people, i can still be the immature one at work sniggering at innuendo, and get excited when I get concert tickets for gigs that are still months away.

 

Age is a construct, it doesn't really exist, so being older yet acting younger, it's all good, let the inner child out, Lord knows most people don't, but it's hugely beneficial in many ways when you do. From reducing stress, to simply remembering how to have fun.

 

And next, I've had a little who was 21, I've had a little that was 32, and a couple in between. Their age didn't bother me in the slightest. I'm interested in the person, not their age.

 

Be 30, be little, work out the detail whenever, own that shit, it's all you, and it's all good.

oh wow thank you so much

[ShadowsGrace]

Turned 38 today. Still have a Peter Pan complex. In some ways I was always beyond my years. In some ways I'm behind, and that's coming from someone who is more a Daddy than a little. Unfortunately, you do have to do some things (like pay taxes), but make time for you to be you and indulge your little self. Look to add people to your life that accept and encourage you to be who you are. I think it's wonderful that you still get excited over little things! Don't loose that. We can't stop physical aging, and that can cause considerable anxiety whether little or not. You CAN refuse to loose the bright and firey spirit inside. Live life to the fullest, surround yourself with positive people, and stick out your tongue at the face of time.

[Tinka]

Turned 38 today. Still have a Peter Pan complex. In some ways I was always beyond my years. In some ways I'm behind, and that's coming from someone who is more a Daddy than a little. Unfortunately, you do have to do some things (like pay taxes), but make time for you to be you and indulge your little self. Look to add people to your life that accept and encourage you to be who you are. I think it's wonderful that you still get excited over little things! Don't loose that. We can't stop physical aging, and that can cause considerable anxiety whether little or not. You CAN refuse to loose the bright and firey spirit inside. Live life to the fullest, surround yourself with positive people, and stick out your tongue at the face of time.

Wonderful message, thank you so much...!

 

Happy Birthday! May you be forever happy, healthy and loved.

[baby_k]

Warning: rambling ahead.

 

Age is just a number. Don't care about it.

How you should be as you are 30? How cares about it, that is just some weird expectations people have: other close minded people's opinions should not bother you as in the end, they don't matter the least. And often it is YOU who has those expectations or ideas, tbh. (I know this for it is/was the case for me XD)

 

I think the older I get, the less I care about any norms of society and the more free I come. So, when you think you don't have your "sh*t together", think "and so what?". It is truly liberating. Who says you need to have all that figured out? (And if there is such person, what does their opinion matter, it is your life, not anyone elses. If those thoughts come from you, think why: what purpose they serve and why you have them in the first place).

 

What I have noticed is that if you just are you, have confidence in your own world view, who you are and how you do things: people will just accept you (mostly, sure, there are some morons always ). I'm so called high caliber career person but I often feel like a naughtty child (in good way), and that is perfecty alright. Professionally I'm known to be bit eccentric but getting stuff done. I don't need to be yet another person directly taken from society's mold. As I need to be me. Which is often bit clueless person who has not grown up and has no intentions to do so.

 

You don't have to know what you want to do professionally for example. To me it seems that you have high expectation and standard there and that makes it super hard to really choose and "settle". Just learn to be okay that you are not quite sure and maybe never will be. Life anyhow never goes as we plan, so I doubt you are missing much.

 

I'm sort of proud to be over 30. I have no need to be younger as I have learnt so much over the years, also to accept that I can do and be something that is not traditionaly seen as ok for someone this old. All those years are like battle scars, time, I think I have spent well by learning about life and myself. When I was like 25, I was so clueless about myself as I THOUGH I knew. Now I know that I have no clue XD It is liberating for me. I don't have to be anything, I don't have to do anything. Unless I want to.

 

They say that young people are so black and white and the older you get, the more you see shades of gray. In someways it is true, I see so much more than the young kids because of experience that has taught me quite many (sometimes painful) lessons. But I still have the teenagers fierce passion about things. And I just love that combination. Like: you can have the best of all worlds

 

 

But my advice for you: stop pretending to be anything else than you are. Some will judge, sure, but mostly people get used to who you are and then it is "oh, that is just Tiny_Tina". Learn to love yourself, who you are, forget the age. It is not important anyways. Be the roller skating granny in hidious purple hat just because you can and other people's opinion does not matter. Don't care about judgemental people. If they have issue with you, well, so what? Someone will always have issue with you, you can't please all.

 

Only thing you need to do really is pay taxes.... or that is highly recomendable

And consider the getting-kids thing: it unfortunately does have time limit. Don't stress about it htou, just be sure you won't get bitter if you get or don't.

But all else: you are stressing over stuff that is not worth stressing over, it is mainly probably in your own head. And I say this as it was at least my own case: I had so many weird expectations that were not really coming from me but were planted into my head from outside. I still have some, and probably still have many more to be found. But maybe one day I'm totally free of those random ideas, expectations, limits, requirements and so on. Those are not needed at all for happy and good life. They serve no purpose.

[baby_k]

Does it hurt when a potential daddy`s profile says ''only until their twenties''... ? 

Do you feel embarrassed and ashamed too, for your physical age?

 

And apparently I have huge urge still to comment on this also

 

Soo, I honestly think those men (if older, not if looking people of their own age) are bit creepy and weird. Also they often seem immature which is quality I really don't like in a man. People get old, just how it goes, it's natural. So, are those people gonna dump their partner when "too old"? Or are they living some random fantasy that they want some hot young chic now as could not get it when they were younger and now found this as way to relive their youth? And so on. It also seems shallow easily. Preferances are preferances but I don't want dude like that: which is my preferance. ;P So, would not be a match made in heaven anyhow. Just like I don't want dude who thinks women are objects or who otherwise has really different world views from me.

 

I think changes in looks can be difficult. Changes often are, no matter what they are. But getting old is really human thing to do. I often look at old people just to show myself that it is okay to get old. At least I don't look older people in bad way as why would I? They have wrinkles as they should have. They don't have as glowy skin as some young person, just like is "appropriate". But what can make like old woman truly attractive an beautiful is their spirit, their smile, their open attitude towards world. That beats any beauty of youth. And I wish I will grow into one of those women.

[humanmusic]

30 is still pretty young though. Perfect part of a little's life to have that special and most needed "little space" time. Hopefully (if wanted) you can share that time with someone else, a Daddy or a fellow little. It needs to be a safe space, where no one is judged for being a certain age and acting another age. Sometimes a daddy wants "little Daddy space" lol

 

Was at the fair a week ago, saw bumper cars and the little guy inside me got excited because that was always my fav ride...but then I noticed it was just a bunch of young kids riding on it and knew I couldn't go enjoy it like I used to. The only thing to do is go get an overpriced greasy burger. The fair kinda sucks for an adult!

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

I’m actually looking forward to having grey hairs. ^^ Somehow I don’t consider that alone to make people look old anymore. Maybe because so many ‘younger’ people purosefully dye their hair grey? And I think I’ve always wanted grey hair lol

 

I’m not tooooo far off 30.

Sometimes I feel mega bleh about how old I am. But I get over it pretty fast, it shouldn’t have that much bearing on your feels about yourself.

Plus I kinda think older Littles are rockin’ it.

Although I’m def noticing I look much older, after also being mistaken for much younger since I was like 17yo. -.-

Part of that is- not drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, stress etc.

But I look to all the older Littles on the forum and how rad they are, and it makes me feel better about aging. ^^

 

I think that the time when you gotta worry about your age is more to do with your emotional maturity and blah blah blah. ^^ And even then there are exceptions. Stuff like anxiety is hard to shake.

[prince eefy]

i feel this. im only 20 and feel like im getting too old to be a Little. i also have no idea what i wanna do with my life still. im just going for an assocates degree in gen ed. it's something. i just know im gonna get married to my boyfriend in a few years. hopefully move in with him soon.

Edited September 21, 2018 by littleblueskyee

[ShadowsGrace]

Thank you for the birthday wishes.

 

Also wanted to add that I knew a lady in her 90s that enjoyed fairy and animal coloring books and kids tv shows until the day she passed away. I thought it was beautiful how much of a pure heart she kept through a lifetime with many hardships.

 

If you had to be little to be a "little" there would be no littles at all, only kids or adults, because everyone grows. Growing old mentally is optional.

Edited September 21, 2018 by ShadowsGrace

[Little Illy]

I'm going to be 27 next month, but I feel like I am turning 87 with everything I have done and gone through.

 

And through it all, I am still uncertain about the future. I still call my father, who is all the way around the world, when I am overwhelmed or even just scared, I still run to him. Wanna talk about not feeling like you have it figured out. I can move across the country, but I smell the small hint of burnt electrical wires and I flip and call my programmer father.

 

I am sorry if I am repeating any of the wonderful responses about - But I believe instead of you seeing yourself growing older and "not having things figured out" it is an extension of who you are. You are a little, these things would confuse a little. However you are an adult, so why not start learning things in a little-like fashion.

 

Make games outa trying to do or figure stuff out. Don't know how to do taxes (saw this as an example)? How about every time you read one informative article on it, you get to read a story book right after. Need to fill out some forms? Every form equals a small treat and once all done, get yourself a new coloring book. 

 

Daddy and I are going to do this. I have at least 2 years before I can go back to college. So Daddy and I are buying relative textbooks and doing our own teaching. I am going to read and study and Daddy (is gonna do the same) will test me on the material. Assign papers and I will write them. This helps me feel grounded and mentally secure, but it is done in a little like fashion so it doesn't even seem like work, but rather like make-believe fun.

 

I know it is incredibly hard - I have so many "older" littles who get rejected by men who want the babiest of baby faces (the 18-22yos) and, as shitty as that is, it is their preference. However, I think there is a little more to it than that.

 

I am a person who is extremely rigid in my beliefs of potential suitors - I mean... strict. Yall shouldn't be surprised. However, whenever I had met someone with potential, there was always something I had to overlook. For example - in my lengthy personal ad I made 2 years ago, I wrote a whole paragraph stating I wont ever do an LDR and if the person was not a relatively close drive away, they shouldn't even contact me. My Daddy messaged me from Australia.

 

My point? If men are really that obsessed with the youth and young aesthetic, you have done yourself a favor by swerving them. A lot of men who do this because they don't want a fulfilling thing, but rather they want their idealistic scenario. 

 

In other words - a lot of those people want the kink, not the person. Which is why a lot of people wont even have a 25yo because she is not little enough. Dodge those people the moment you see them, they are not ready for something serious. And I am not saying that is wrong of them, but it happens a lot with inexperience or a narrowed view on the dynamic.

 

I am a firm believe and advocate that no one should ever feel shame for their preferences in a partner. Like them skinny, big, little, middle, movie star "hot," girl next door beautiful, men, women, asexual, it doesn't matter to me. SO yes, there are cases where people cannot be with someone older because it is their preference. I recognize this and understand this. However, if you were to dig deep into the root cause of their preference there are quite a few who do this out of misunderstanding and vanity. Those are the people I am talking about, not those with legit preferences.

 

At the end of the day the hard choice is to decide if youre going to allow what people think stop you from being happy. The decision to ignore people and their judgmental overtones is never easy. I am probably the most insecure person you have ever met, yet I use book smarts to feel confident. And fail. So I understand you can't "just" decide the opinions of others don't matter. But I would urge you to focus on loving yourself and not hearing those nay-sayers.

 

Besides those people who only believe "true littles" are under a certain age are probably the same people who believes "true littles" must love pink, unicorns, be a kitten and have a selfless affinity for cockworship, and anyone else is a fake. So don't let them bring you down.

Edited September 22, 2018 by Little Illy

[LittleCelticLass]

I don't have much to add, other than at 46, I wish I was still 30. But it doesn't matter, because there are many "older" daddies that prefer a little with life experience. My guy is actually younger than me, and the fact that I am an older little doesn't seem to bother him. As far as not having your s*%t together, well don't worry too much. Neither do I. Edited September 22, 2018 by LittleCelticLass

[SmartAssLittle]

I'm 33. And i feel young and pretty. Most of times.

 

Age is state of mind.

 

But, with time you have to accept your responsibilities, that's for sure.

 

Even if you have Daddy.

[ShadowsGrace]

My guy is actually younger than me, and the fact that I am an older little doesn't seem to bother him.

What chu mean younger? You were just 5 the other day. XD They grow up so fast! :')

[Guest Swadloon]

I feel really compelled to respond to this even though everyone has already said 99.99% of what there is to say and hit the nail right on the head.  I'll try not to be repetitive.

 

I know what you mean by feeling out of place as an older little.  The community seems so full of 18-22 year-olds, who seem to get the most attention from prospective Daddies, and even I feel "too old" sometimes even though I'm not yet halfway through my 20s! Sometimes I feel like the only reason I have a Daddy is because my Daddy just so happened to be my boyfriend before agreeing to give DDlb a try, and that if things somehow didn't end up working out between us, I'd probably be Daddy-less for the rest of my life. Then I realize that the notions that I'll one day be too old to be a little, and that nobody likes an older little, are both Very Silly.  Here's why:

 

On Being Too Old to Be A Little:

As much as DDlg is a kink, it's a lifestyle to many.  And when something's a lifestyle, well...you can't be expected to just toss everything associated with it by a certain best-before date.  Being a little is an aspect of one's personality, and you can't flip a switch and just turn it off when you reach a certain age.  People drift in and out of the lifestyle, sure, but a part of it will always remain under the surface.

 

To be honest, (and this may be a superficial comparison, but...) it reminds me of alternative fashion communities. I'm part of my local J-fashion comm and we get a lot of people worrying about the fact that once they're over 30 years old they're going to have to sell all their fairy kei clothes and Lolita dresses and leave or something. And it's sad, because their self-expression through fashion is an extension of their being!  Society is, for some reason, obsessed with the notion that once we're no longer "young", we've gotta throw everything that we like that's "youthful" or "unconventional" and settle down into the same boring mold as everyone else, because that means we're "mature."  It's such an artificial notion that we're not allowed to like the things we do or do the things we do just because we hit a certain time limit on it, especially because most people develop what end up being their lifelong interests in their 20s and 30s!  And the only way we can change this damaging, self-effacing paradigm is by....not letting go of the things we love and being unapologetically ourselves, all our lives! You're a little! You're 30! You're allowed to be both! You're only too old for something when you're dead.

 

Also, I think that DDlg has gained a lot more awareness and popularity in the last few years than it ever has, so I feel we're probably going to see a lot more 30+ littles and the CGs who love them hanging around in the community, as us twenty-somethings get older!

 

On Nobody Liking Older Littles:

This is also total bunk mostly for reasons that Little Illy talked about.  Like she said, if someone's obsessing over you not being "little enough" and talking down to you because of your age, be glad you dodged a bullet! As much as DDlg is a kink, it's also a relationship dynamic. It isn't purely about living out some fantasy ideal, and if a Daddy is interested in a little solely because she's barely 18 and pretty, it's a very flimsy and possibly exploitative foundation for the relationship to begin on that may lead to serious problems along the way! It's about communication, trust, and a genuine, emotional and physical connection between two people, and that can be found between people of any age. There are Daddies out there who prioritize those things above all else, and if you prioritize those things too, you can find your Forever Daddy.

 

If anything, I feel like the older people in the dynamic are ones who understand the dynamic the most - that being a good little to your Daddy isn't all cute outfits and cuddles and giving good head, and being a good Daddy to your little isn't just rules and punishments and giving your little stuffies. Granted, there are 18 year olds out there who are million times more mature when it comes to relationships than some 50 year olds, but generally, with age comes experience, and with experience comes maturity. For example, you probably have a much better understanding of the type of guy you're compatible with than someone a decade younger than you.  That can be an advantage since you know what you're looking for and don't have to spend as much time testing the waters with not-so-serious relationships!

 

I wish you the best of luck in your journey discovering DDlg!

[LittleCelticLass]

[Little Illy]

What chu mean younger? You were just 5 the other day. XD They grow up so fast! :')

 

Oh, yes, I am 5!! Chu right!

 

You two are insanely cute. I cannot handle it