Almost 30 and a Little

[Frog]

Don't worry about having your s**t together. I'm 47; I had my life together, something huge happened, and now I don't. Life can severely change quickly. I don't say that to scare you, but it's a reminder that there are many things happening where we don't see. 

 

Life is weird, hectic, and wondrous. Just go with it. When you have it together, enjoy it.

[Kosmosis Jones]

I will keep it simple since you have so many wonderful people giving great advice already. Just become a full grown Kidult. It's what I do. I'm 28 been married, divorced, have a six year old daughter, my own car, a house i rent, pay all my bills, work a full time job, go to concerts, play at the park, have a small collection of coloring books, watches cartoons, reads comics and children's books, and plays games. Just be who you are, if someone has a problem with it, guess what? That's their problem not yours.

 

As a Daddy I will comment on the age of a little thing. How many laps you've made around the sun has fuck all to do with how you feel inside. if someone is going to invest that much time into a number they have some issues that they need to resolve. Personally, I rather have a little who has a bit more life experience. I want a woman to share my life with, I have no problems caring for a little, but I am already raising a child, I don't really want to raise an adult. I'm not saying their life has to be in perfect working order, mine never is, and never will be, but having someone that knows how to take care of themselves, how to live in the big mean world, and then allows me to take care of them to ease that burden is just really attractive to me. I like knowing that even though I am not 'needed' to provide, I am wanted to, and relied on to take care of those things, but at the same time, if something comes up, I know my partner has my back and step into the big mean world to help keep us a float as a couple. This is just me though.

[Little Illy]

How many laps you've made around the sun has fuck all to do with how you feel inside. 

 

I swear I read your reply, but this is the best sentence I have seen in awhile. I wanna use it...

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

What if in the years to come i see white hair?

What if i see wrinkles?

 

How do you cope with this feeling?

Does it hurt when a potential daddy`s profile says ''only until their twenties''... ? 

Do you feel embarrassed and ashamed too, for your physical age?

 

*deep breath*

 

I didn't want to answer this topic, because it punched me right in the gut.  But I don't want you to feel like you are the only one.  So, I'm going to be brutally honest.

 

Age has never really bothered me, I turned 31 this year and it was whatever.  In my mind I'm still a teenager.  When people ask how old I am, it takes me a minute to remember.  I just don't think about it unless someone asks.

 

But somewhere around the beginning of summer, I noticed that I am starting to get lines around my eyes when I smile.  It happens to everyone and it shouldn't be a big deal, right?  Wrong.  I freaked the fuck out, bought hundreds of dollars worth of skincare products, cried myself to sleep every night for a week, and spent hours in front of the mirror trying to figure out how to smile without scrunching up my eyes.  It has been months and I am still freaking out.  Oh, and I have the tiniest bit of Asian in me, so it is almost impossible to smile without scrunching my eyes.  I find myself trying not to move my face and actually resent people who make me laugh or smile too hard.

 

Four years ago, I discovered I had a gray hair.  Just one, on the right side of my head.  I only ever noticed it when I straightened my hair.  No biggie, I just pulled it out every six months once it got long enough.  Two years ago, a buddy joined it.  Okay, I can handle that, just keep an eye on them.  Last year, there were five.  I'm not sure how to describe the way that felt, except that it seemed like all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the room and I couldn't breathe.  Because that was when I realized that the number would keep growing and accelerating, and it wouldn't be long before plucking them out was no longer an option.  Now, I'm afraid to look.

 

How do I cope?  Denial, tears, self-loathing, and skincare products.  Also, wearing much more makeup than I used to. 

 

A man who only wants a girl in in her twenties is obviously not the man for me.  It is kind of a relief when they put that on their profile, because it tells me a lot about what they are looking for in a woman.  And even in my early twenties, I probably wouldn't have been attracted to that kind of man.

 

Do I feel embarrassed or ashamed for my physical age?  Not so much for the age, because I know that with age comes wisdom and knowledge.  I love knowing what I know now.  But the wrinkles and the gray hair?  Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.  I'm praying every night for some kind of stem cell therapy breakthrough that allows me to look 21 for the rest of my life.  In the mean time, I'm doing everything I can to halt the progression on my face.  And I'm definitely going to graduate school so that I can afford professional hair-coloring services.  And maybe some botox.

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

@Sachita

“ I find myself trying not to move my face and actually resent people who make me laugh or smile too hard”

 

I’M SARRYYYYYYYYY WAHHHHHHH *cri*

*throws 6ct5r65* <- well it was meant to say ‘chair’ but mu mu walked across my keyboard, so.

[Little Illy]

*deep breath*

 

I didn't want to answer this topic, because it punched me right in the gut.  But I don't want you to feel like you are the only one.  So, I'm going to be brutally honest.

 

I don't have anything add on how it feels to be 30+, I'm just turning 27 in a couple weeks or so. I dunno how I will react to turning 30.

 

But I wanna say thank you, regardless? I have had signs of aging since I was about 19 and, at 19, I felt like my life was over. To hear someone else have a similar reaction makes me not feel so alone. I have grey hair dusted throughout my head, I have joint issues that literally make me look like a little old woman sometimes and I have back problems that just fuck me up. Whenever I saw "I want a young little/gf" I always got disheartened. Men used to judge me older for what I am because of my body, even though they say I look young.

 

I had a mental break down in a store about 4 years ago. I was buying all new bras for the first time in forever and this is my most hated activity. My grandmother was with me (long story) and she ended up asking a clerk over against my wishes. I told the lady my size and she just ripped all of the bras outa my hand, literally grabbed me by my arm and dragged me over to a little corner. I was surrounded by beige, black, and white. No lace, no frills, no designs. Built for stability, durability and... for grandmothers. The clerk said "Sweetheart, your sexy days are over, these are what you need." I literally saw block dots and that poor woman received my pent up wrath since my first grey hair. I screamed at her that was 23 and I would REFUSE to not allow myself to look sexy." I ran out of the store and to my grandmother's car. I didn't cry but I'm pretty sure I snapped and growled at a few people along the way. 

 

I also feel that due to my physical appearance ages me as well. I'm not a tiny petite woman who can fit into a pull up. I don't have a cute little butt to put in colorful nappies. My legs are too muscular to wear thigh highs, and most time, knee highs. My chest is so big, I have to buy massive size onesies and it just doesn't *look* like a little. I have actually had quite a few Daddies (not here) tell me I looked too grown for them, because they loved Age Play. One man even told me "how can you be a little girl when your tits are in my face?" and I hadn't even met him IRL.

 

It is ridiculous the shit expectations placed on women for appearances. And I am so fucking sorry you all are going through this. I definitely have not dealt with the same, but I have a mass amount of sympathy for you all. And it is comforting knowing Im not the only one hating my body for not "looking" like it is "expected."

Edited September 24, 2018 by Little Illy

[Guest Vintage Daddy]

. Edited September 24, 2018 by Vintage Daddy

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

...

[Tinka]

@Sachita and @Little Illy

 

i do get everything you say. i do understand the struggle. I have it too.

i personally have a very weird sense of time, my mind just doesn`t realize it and it takes years for me to realize something external and when i do, i feel lost and terrified. it sucks. 

Thank you for sharing, it means a lot. 

To be a little and struggle with aging, is a very tricky part that you just cant explain to people in your life when they have never even heard the ddlg term.

So having you opening up and speaking up for these, is very relieving to me. Thank you.  

[Kosmosis Jones]

I am not a little, and the aging thing doesn't bother me as much cause I'm honestly looking forward to being a cantankerous old curmudgeon, but I was like 15/16 when my mom plucked my first white hair and then teased me about it. I started to go white before she went gray. I have a few on the top of my head, but a have a fair amount of white and grey in my beard and mustache. I got the bags and dark circles and fine lines around my eyes. But they are mine. I earned them. I'm not going to let my physical age define me. Yeah I'm a Daddy, but I still have my favored little activities. Coloring, swinging at the park. Watching cartoons. Playing in the dirt (but not the sand, fuck sand) and I'm going to start a full grown kidult for the rest of my life. And if anyone asks why I do these things at my she I'll tell them. "look, I grew up, that doesn't mean I have to act old."

[SquishyUnicorns]

I feel like that too ❤ Edited September 29, 2018 by ServusAlba

[Guest 10SweetBabyGirl01]

[MysticSand]

I'm super super new to the DDLG community so I can't comment much about age surrounding that world.

 

But I do feel you on the whole getting older bit! I think a co-worker of mine phrased what I (and you) are going through perfectly: "No one tells you as a kid that sometimes your body grows up but your mind stays exactly how you were as a kid." Some others have already re-iterated that in various fashion, of course. But at the time, it blew my mind. He was absolutely right! I used to think how maybe I was weird or different for still acting/thinking like kid/teen I did. I still have those thoughts sometimes, but then I remember that I wouldn't go back to being a kid/teen/young 20's for anything. I don't have much of my life figured out yet, but I do get an adult paycheck (recent development for sure, trust me) and I can buy whatever the heck I want with that money.

 

As a kid, I'd sometimes want ice cream for breakfast or lunch or dinner. Just ice cream. But as a kid, of course I wasn't allowed to have that.

As an adult.... I can buy whatever I want, whenever I want because I have my own money! (Is this counter-intuitive to the DDLG spirit?   )

 

It's a weird double dutch of being your own person and living up to societal norms. I have never really been fond of social media and tend to stay off of it especially now because, at this point, a lot of my peers have kids or are celebrating either getting married or having kids. Both of which I don't really ever want, but somehow seeing their posts still makes me reflective. Not regretful, but reflective. It's a damned human thing where you just can't help but compare yourself. But as others have said, your years and experiences make you who you are and that's the best version of you! Everyone experiences things differently so try not to hold yourself to anyone else's expectations but your own. Easier said than done - I know, I know. You're not alone in your feelings though, and I definitely agree with others that age is just a number and if people aren't able to look past that, then that's their loss and you're all the better for it. 

Edited October 4, 2018 by MysticSand

[Nymph]

I think all littles go through a "midlife crisis" of sorts at a young age because you don't want to become an adult XD here is the good news, it will pass and you will either grow out of being a little and realize it was just a phase or you will embrace it and own it... You may go through it again if you ever become a mother, it can be a bit scary to see your body change in pregnancy and then to have such a big responsibility and worry there will not be any attention left from Daddy... and then you realize you get to be around toys and do baby talk in public and even say "daddy" out loud and nobody bats an eye!! also you get to dress up your cute baby in all kinds of adorable outfits, so no worries!!!

 

Does it sting when someone who sounds awesome will only consider 20-somethings? honey, that probably means he is not so great and he can't handle a real little or that he is not a real daddy and he is just hoping to have a cute young thing to show off to his friends. If the guy is young then he is likely inexperienced and hence feel more comfortable with someone younger than himself to get used to the role.

 

I used to be super attracted to guys older than me, to the point I would not even consider talking to someone who wasn't at least 5 years older than me... Then I met Daddy, the most intelligent and mature guy I have ever known, he is a year younger than I am (I am 35) and we have been married for 6 years. I think that was my wake up call to realize age really is just a number, dating guys 15 years older than me did not result in having super mature, stable relationships all the time, dating guys who were compatible (a loving kinky caregiver with a good sense of humor) did the trick every time.

 

For Daddy it was similar, since he is a caregiver who did not know this lifestyle or terms he would usually date girls with a very sweet personality younger than himself. He assumed girls his age or older were a bit too jaded and cynical so he gave up on them, but then he was stuck with girls who would mature into a different person and the sweetness was gone... then I came along, we became online friends and one day he realized I was everything he was looking for if he ignored the age... then it hit him... I was already past the age most girls change and I was still the kind of girl he liked... no risk of me growing out of it... and the negative became a positive.

 

White hairs happen, if they bother you dye them and forget about them. Wrinkles happen eventually, start taking good care of your skin yesterday so you age gracefully... but above all, stop putting pressure on yourself because you are not hitting the regular milestones like your peers. If you force yourself you will be miserable, it's better to focus to figure out what you want (and what you def don't want) then it all goes from there.

 

Is up to you to stay free in your mind and soul sweetie, nobody can take that away from you.

 

Sorry for the book!

[Tinka]

I think all littles go through a "midlife crisis" of sorts at a young age because you don't want to become an adult XD here is the good news, it will pass and you will either grow out of being a little and realize it was just a phase or you will embrace it and own it... You may go through it again if you ever become a mother, it can be a bit scary to see your body change in pregnancy and then to have such a big responsibility and worry there will not be any attention left from Daddy... and then you realize you get to be around toys and do baby talk in public and even say "daddy" out loud and nobody bats an eye!! also you get to dress up your cute baby in all kinds of adorable outfits, so no worries!!!

 

Does it sting when someone who sounds awesome will only consider 20-somethings? honey, that probably means he is not so great and he can't handle a real little or that he is not a real daddy and he is just hoping to have a cute young thing to show off to his friends. If the guy is young then he is likely inexperienced and hence feel more comfortable with someone younger than himself to get used to the role.

 

I used to be super attracted to guys older than me, to the point I would not even consider talking to someone who wasn't at least 5 years older than me... Then I met Daddy, the most intelligent and mature guy I have ever known, he is a year younger than I am (I am 35) and we have been married for 6 years. I think that was my wake up call to realize age really is just a number, dating guys 15 years older than me did not result in having super mature, stable relationships all the time, dating guys who were compatible (a loving kinky caregiver with a good sense of humor) did the trick every time.

 

For Daddy it was similar, since he is a caregiver who did not know this lifestyle or terms he would usually date girls with a very sweet personality younger than himself. He assumed girls his age or older were a bit too jaded and cynical so he gave up on them, but then he was stuck with girls who would mature into a different person and the sweetness was gone... then I came along, we became online friends and one day he realized I was everything he was looking for if he ignored the age... then it hit him... I was already past the age most girls change and I was still the kind of girl he liked... no risk of me growing out of it... and the negative became a positive.

 

White hairs happen, if they bother you dye them and forget about them. Wrinkles happen eventually, start taking good care of your skin yesterday so you age gracefully... but above all, stop putting pressure on yourself because you are not hitting the regular milestones like your peers. If you force yourself you will be miserable, it's better to focus to figure out what you want (and what you def don't want) then it all goes from there.

 

Is up to you to stay free in your mind and soul sweetie, nobody can take that away from you.

 

Sorry for the book!

*hug*   thank you so much

[Nymph]

yay for hugs! :3

[Guest LeftyGuitar]

I'm reaching my early 30s and I'm a little. The original post had been editied, so I don't know it originally said, lol. Anyways you can be a little regardless of your real age.