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Activities to do after a break up

Guest ~ Sleepy ~

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Guest ~ Sleepy ~
I broke up recently and now I’m lost and don’t know what to do to help me feel more little. It wasn’t a very good break up either so I’m just down in the dumps now. Are there any activities that any other Little’s have done to cheer them up after a break up?
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Treat yourself to things you like but wouldn't normally do! You could get your nails done all pretty, go out to a nice cafe for a treat, go for a massage, go to a toy store and get a new stuffie, take yourself to a movie and buy all of the candy, go to a craft store and get stickers or other cute stationary.... it really depends what you like. ^^

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I'd first make sure you are out of the grieving process for the most part. Let yourself be sad and feel the loss for the duration needed. 


When you are ready to start "moving on" and focusing on your Little side, maybe start searching about yourself. When I was ghosted or had a break up and couldn't feel like my little self, I would think of something I was interested in and research it and then see if it was for me (like being into Pet Play and discovering my Puppy side). Focusing on a part of me that I like and learning more about it and more about things that appeal to me, it is all a positive experience. There is no negative.... because I like these things! I doesn't become tedious because... I'm learning about myself! Exploration has always been my go-to to make myself feel better.


If that isn't your cup of tea (I'm weird, I know...) I'd make play dates with little friends, or outings with "vanilla" friends, etc. One of the easiest things to do after a bad break up is to isolate yourself. People tend to push people away or keep to themselves and sometimes just stop doing everything they love. If you make commitments (and have your friends stick to them for you), it is an easy way to be with the people who love you (plus side), to do things you love because they know you (plus side) and they can be a good and healthy distraction. And at the end of the day, you have a happy memory. 


Not feeling little after a breakup or because of Life is actually quite normal. This has been my roller coaster since I found out what a Little even was. The fastest way to feel more like your little self, from what I have seen over the years, is to make yourself happier in general. Littles are inherently vulnerable in littlespace or when they feel that way, so you could be afraid to be little again and feel this pain. So take away the source, or help alleviate it, and soon the little headspace should follow.


I hope it all works out :heart: 

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My Daddy broke up with me today. My first reaction was to text the one friend I have who knows about him and my Little side. She immediately told me that she wanted to take me out later, so we're gonna go for a few beers, talk it out and probably bitch a little about guys in general. Exactly what I need.


As for my Little side. It's hard for me to go into Little space when I don't have a CG to help me get there. But I'm certain I'll figure it out. Perhaps I'll take Arc's advice and treat myself to a new stuffie or something nice that makes me feel Little. Going on my Little blog on Tumblr helps me, too. 


Personally, and I know that it might not be the case for you, but it helps me to get angry. To feel anger instead of sadness helps me distance myself from the pain and the hurt and from turning in inwards and blame myself, which I tend to do. So for now I'll focus on my anger and then I'll feel the hurt when I'm ready for it. 

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a break up has 7 stages.


1)Despair (''Whyyyyyy?!')

2)Denial (oh heeeeell nuh! this is not happening, its all a dream! i ll wake up and he will be with me!)

3)Bargaining ( i was the jealous stuffie thrower and he was a saint, its not that he wasnt right for me, its ME being a brat as always!)

4)Relapse (so if i stop splashing you with my sippy cup when i get angry, will you agree to get back with me?....)

5)Anger (oh those poor teddy bears.....)

6)Initial acceptance (ohhhh.....today i mentioned him 99 times, and not 100 as yesterday...)

7)Redirected hope (oh that man is handsome! :3 :3 ooooh he is approaching me! :3 :3 well hewwo...! :3 )


My humble advice, is to have a plan ready to be followed to save yourself from every single stage of the first 5 negative ones.

for example


Phase 1 ! 

---> Spend time talking about it. Its better to cry your ''whys`'' to your best friend, to your cat, to the squirrel on your front porch, to the monsters` under your bed, than Him... Most of the times the whys` are rhetorical when you ask them, so make sure you will rant and whine to someone who will help you go through this, and unfortunately our ex is NOT THE ONE. 


Phase 2 !

---> i have personally found that i need my program filled with people , to stay away from mobile phones, lap tops , pc,  pigeons and every other possible way of me relapsing and trying some sort of communication with the Ex. And if i couldnt avoid being in my room, for example that hard time where i must sleep, i had made sure i would have my pc / youtube full of funny series, movies, videos that would keep my mind distracted at all costs.


Phase 3

--> In an ideal world i would tell you to not accuse yourself since self blame is a nasty habit of people and has no space in self development. 

BUT! in case the breakup had something to do with a vice of yours, like jealousy, take it as a wake up call to fix some aspects of your personality.

I for example was pathological jealous type of woman, i had to get a metaphorical slap in the face to wake up and do something about it. Because it would ruin not only my partners` mood, but would also affect my mood. No one enjoys this burning sensation of jealousy. So a visit or 2, to a psychologist or a self development seminar would be pretty good. If not due to the financial part, there are great books about self development, videos , articles etc. Work it girl :p Fix it, make it better.


Phase 4

--> Here is the tricky part. Sometimes its good, to let some time pass, for both partners to relax, and see things clearer and then have a conversation. 

Some times its good, some times its not. I will trust your judgement, but be careful if you speak to him you might relapse to phase 1 all over again. 

And since i know its soul draining, be cautious with yourself. If you must not speak to him at all costs, start a hobby. Paint, walk your dog, read a book, there are WONDERFUL self development journals, which are interactive and you can have a great and fun time. Remember what you used to like before you meet him, and if this is not enough, follow the ''yes'' strategy. Everytime someone will tell you "oh i heard there is a carnival there, wanna go?'' YES. ''oh i was thinking to start swimming , wanna come with me?'' YES. '' i have been wanting all this time to go hiking, wanna.... - YES!''. You will be the yes girl, its a great start to become positive. Everyone loves a positive girl. 


Phase 5

--> Here there is only one way and it might be the best decision you ever made. Anger is a transformed suppressed mixture of despair and sadness. When the anger strikes, you must let it out, or it can transform you in ways that will stick with you forever. You don`t want this , its like a virus and you wanna be healthy again.

Start a gym. Start something where you physically make your body tired, exhausted. Every punch you will throw, every squat, will make wonders

Because you will let the anger out AND make a killer body at the same time. Let me not be the one to tell you about how exercise raises the levels of a hormone of happiness. Google is our friend :p 



Dont let yourself, this is a mistake we all do. We lie on bed, eat like pigs, thinking we will never love again, we will never be happy again, feeling empty...

If you feel empty then thats great, because you can LITERALLY FEEL that you have a lot of space. Make sure you fill this space. With positive vibes, new hobbies, new dreams goals, a new you.  Pick a class, yoga, gym, martial arts, seminars, learn to do crafts, paint, theatrical, dance, learn a new language, plan a trip, start a garden, read a book, write a book, learn to play a musical instrument, cooking courses, photography, help at animal shelter, adopt a bunny....

The list is endless and finally you got the time you need. Start today, not tomorrow.

I hope the best.

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Guest ~ Sleepy ~
Thank you everyone for answering and giving really good advice and activities to do. I’ll definitely be trying all of these things out definitely today. All of these things really helped cheer me up while I was reading them, thank you again!!
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I went through a bad break up a whilst ago. I invested all my time into friends and just doing things that I liked doing just for me! Even if it was just as simple as watching my fave show on tv, or having an extra long bubble bath, or eating more snackies than usual. I only have “vanilla” friends so some things I had to keep to myself which was difficult and sometimes made it hard to get my head around things due to the level of hurt surrounding the feeling of abandonment. At the time I felt like I would never get through it and I wouldn’t survive. But every day it got a little easier. When I say a little I mean a little! It was ever such improvements. Then sometimes it would feel like five steps forward to steps back and I would just break down again. Luckily enough I have 2 friends who are always there for me day or night and was there whenever I needed them. I wouldn’t have got through it without them. And the break up brought some positive things too. I made a new friend and developed more of a social life than I had in the relationship and it started to feel good. It felt like I had my own little life my own little bubble my own little world. And slowly but surely I started to feel happy again. And that’s when I got close to him. My sir. I had known for years but we were only ever acquaintances. We became closer and closer and spender more time together. Then I decided to open up about my submissive side. I was shocked but also happy when he told me he had been in 2 bdsm relationships previously. Things just fitted and rolled smoothly and now all the pain of the past and that horrid break up is just a distant memory. I’m happier than I have ever been and at the time of the break up I didn’t think that was possible. I can promise you, you will find your way through this and you will come out the other side renewed and shining xx
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