New job - need a bit of advice.

[Maids]

So, a few days ago I started working my first job ever outside of volunteering. I am learning how to do cashier work, gaining communication skills with customers - I was essentially a blank canvas for my manager.

Which she liked as she took happiness in being able to mould me into however she wanted me to work. Everything has been going great, so that's not why I'm here... 

 

I'm not too sure if I can ask for advice about this here, but I don't know where else to go and a lot of the people on here have probably been in the same situation as I am in.
 

I am very shy, timid, and very jumpy as I deal with a lot of mental health issues. Mostly anxiety and social anxiety related. I am trying really hard to continue finding coping strategies with this ...

 

I often rush to give the customer their change back which makes me get all flustered and lose my place. Not because I want them out of my face or anything like that, but because I worry they are huffing at how long I'm taking, even if it's actually not very long at all. I'm just petrified of fucking up so I tend to take a bit longer sometimes because I am full of self-doubt.

 

So basically... how do I stop being so anxious around customers? How do I keep my head above water when I'm on the floor by myself 90% of the time and can't direct the customer elsewhere to get help while I attempt to calm down? How do I stop myself from expecting to be A-1 at my job within the first week when I have never worked retail until now - I'm essentially expecting myself to work like my manager or other long term employees and I absolutely beat myself up for hours when I do a minor screw up ... with all of these things going on in my head, that is what makes me screw up and do things wrong, not that I generally don't understand, I scare myself into thinking I don't understand... if that makes sense?

 

Now I'm just rambling, but I'm sure by now you've got the jist of this... Any ideas? Have you struggled with this? Do you still struggle with it? Any help would be appreciated.

Edited September 23, 2018 by Maids

[baby_k]

 

So basically... how do I stop being so anxious around customers? How do I keep my head above water when I'm on the floor by myself 90% of the time and can't direct the customer elsewhere to get help while I attempt to calm down? How do I stop myself from expecting to be A-1 at my job within the first week when I have never worked retail until now - I'm essentially expecting myself to work like my manager or other long term employees and I absolutely beat myself up for hours when I do a minor screw up ... with all of these things going on in my head, that is what makes me screw up and do things wrong, not that I generally don't understand, I scare myself into thinking I don't understand... if that makes sense?

 

 

I think would be good to realise that even if you would not suffer from anxiety, you would still have those same issues. It is perfectly normal. It takes time to get comfortable with new job and learn how to do it and how to act in different situations.

 

One good thing to think is that: does it matter if you are "slowish"? Do people really mind if you don't do things is lightning speed? Mostly they don't care. Some nasty person may but let's face it: that sort o person would anyhow find way to get annoyed, so not much you can do there. Think how you see people who do what you do now if you are a customer: I don't think you are too judgemental about them, so most likely they won't be about you either.

 

Try to focus on the tasks you, take your time. Maybe even try to do them bit too slowly, just so you get used to the uncomfortable feeling that you are not doing things in that "perfect way" you wish you were.

 

Also: everybody makes mistakes. It may help to read about those online, so you realise others make mistakes too, and a lot of them. At least in my native language there is even forum where customer service people are either bitching about customers OR telling their failures. Laughing at your own fuck ups always helps.

 

But anyhow, I would not worry yet too much as what you experience is normal and pretty common. New stuff always makes us bit uneasy and nervous. So, try to treat it that way: nothing wrong with you, that is just how it always goes. You will get used to it eventually (this can take a lot of time btw).

 

Doing your job and being in uncomfortable, new situation also builds up your character: be proud of yourself doing that thing, trying even it feels bad. As that is a merit itself. You have not stayed home even it might be easier. And one day what now makes you anxious will be an easy task for you.

 

As practical tip: try focusing on breathing and other grounding techniques. Just allow yourself to take one deep breath in midle of all, even when serving a customer. It is perfectly okay to do so, and may help you to slowdown a bit.

[Guest Dulci]

Oh the joys of retail!!  I've done my time in retail, and I completely get your fears. Once, my till was down £20... and I was panicking. I obviously over changed someone or pressed the wrong button on the till - but, I told my boss, and you know what he said? "Well. You won't do it again". And that stuck with me. So yeah you're gonna mess up. You might short change someone, or over change someone. But, it's all learning, and believe me, you won't do it again. I'm sure your co-workers understand that! As long as you're not swearing and shouting at customers, you'll be fine ! 

 

I still can't get an email from my boss saying "We need to have a meeting" without my heart pounding and my brain going "what have I done wrong?" (when I know I've done nothing at all wrong) so, I wish I could say the fears go away - they just get quieter ! And you sort of learn to turn them off. 

 

So my only advice, is don't beat yourself up and if you really need to, talk to your manager and explain. She obviously sees something really awesome in you! 

 

Edit: Just remembered, look up "notalwaysright.com" it's HILARIOUS for anyone working in customer services. 

Edited September 23, 2018 by Dulci

[Alaskan Daddy]

Hi

I am a retail manager and I have worked with many new people such as your self. Here are two things I advise you to do if I were your manager. With every customer I would tell them that you are new and say 'I am sorry if I am taking too long (even though you are not)" The customer will mostly always reassure you that you are fine which will make you feel better.

The second thing I would do to help is to go out of your way and  make an effort to make eye contact with every customer that comes in and greet them and let them know to ask how they are doing. This will put a smile on their face and help you be less anxious.

I hope this helps.

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

I was the exact same at my job, but also had bitchy passive aggressive turds to work alongside.

 

Anyway-

I used to try to recite movies in my head when I got anxious, or whistle if I wasn’t around people.

 

I was jumpy, anxious and constantly trying to do the best job possible. It’s exhausting.

Something else that helped was getting to work 20-30 mins early and have coffee, tea or something.

Basically get more accustomed to being there before work hours, so that it’s not ONLY recognised as a stressful place.

 

In addition to Alaska’s suggestions:

If you don’t want to make direct eye contact, then look at the bridge of their nose or between their brows.

 

And I got used to letting people know that I was new, so may take a moment longer.

Everybody has their first day at a new job sometime, most people are understanding when you give them a heads up (from my experience).

 

Sry m not more help, super tired.

[Tinka]

in 5* hotel  , when there was mandatory paperwork/credit card part of checking in or out , we would make small chit chat for example if they enjoyed their staying, or Prague. 

 

you can think of a nice question to ask, to show politeness and that you are professional but friendly at the same time, where the customer will start talking while you do your thing. 

If for example i will ask how did you like it in Prague, you will start saying ooooh it was wonderful i went here and here, or we didnt have many days to see the city because of this and this, they keep on talking and you keep them occupied while you do your thing with payment etc.

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

I second what Tiny_tina said - talk to the customer. Even just a simple, "How is your day going?" will put you on their level and make them more likely to give you a break if things are taking a bit longer. For the most part, people aren't going to give you a life story in answer to that question. It feels like a social script, which eases anxiety, if that makes sense.

 

Also second what throatghosts said, it is perfectly acceptable to say, "Sorry, I'm new." A decent human being will give you a break for that. If they act like an asshole, it helps to think how sad and empty their life must be.

 

As someone who recently had to train a newbie, I would prefer that a new recruit take the time to do something right, rather than rush and make a mistake. Your manager has taken a long time to get to where they are now. And one day, you will be just as good.

[Guest Arc]

I was like this at my first job. It didn't help much that my boss was an impatient Asian lady who barely spoke English and could rarely answer my questions well enough to make me feel comfortable lol. Anyway... it will get better with time. You learn and get more comfortable and things start to feel more natural. Don't worry about being perfect straight away - nobody new is lol. We're all human and we make mistakes. Even those people who have been there a long time make minor screw ups, and probably even major ones. It's normal. When you make a mistake just apologise and learn from it. And as others have said, when you're new it's completely okay to say "sorry I'm new." In my experience people are generally understanding, and those who aren't are just pricks and you should try your best to ignore them lol. 

 

It can feel a bit weird talking to customers at first, but it really will help. The sound of them talking also breaks the silence and makes things a hell of a lot less awkward lol. 

[Maids]

Thank you so much for these replies. I loved reading every single one of them and will definitely tab over to these replies when I'm having a rough day, or anyone is having a hard day at work.

 

Even people who have been working in retail for years still make mistakes, today was my first shift alone after only 3 days of training (which is not nearly enough lol)

 

My co-workers are all super nice, I just feel bad because I'm such a "omg did i do this right??" and constantly asking for reassurance or asking the most obvious things (to me) and just being an absolute nuisance in the group chat. 

 

I always tell them that I'm new and one customer I had today pushed me into such a shitty state of mind, I couldnt find the code for this random unlabeled product and he was throwing such a strop and stormed out on me. Cried for hours. Then another customer came and said that people like that aren't worth tears, all that most customers could ask for is a nice smile to see while you serve them. That made my day. I try to chit-chat but then I get distracted and involved in the conversation sometimes! >_< 

 

One bad customer doesn't outweigh all the nice people. Gotta keep telling myself that! 

 

Thank you all for these lovely replies.. it was really nice to come home to after today.

Edited September 23, 2018 by Maids

[♡ LaraBear ♡]

I'm so sorry to hear about the experiences you've had.  

 

It can be really rough working in customer service in general — be it retail, food service, etc.
My very first job was working at Sonic (a fast food joint), but unlike you my problem was with the co-workers rather than the customers.

If I'm being honest, it's just plain unfair for your coworkers to expect you to be able to do a job you haven't yet been trained for, so that was the main issue there.

Don't be afraid to speak up if you run into a similar issue — though it seems like you aren't having that problem, which is great!

 

I did have a few "problem" customers at my second job, though. I was a breakfast hostess at a hotel.

It was pretty much like running a restaurant all on your own; pretty tough, if I'm being totally honest. I worked alone.

With that place, my problem was also mainly with the co-workers and not the customers, but after a while the work was weighing on me too.

It's perfectly okay to feel overwhelmed, and it's also totally normal; mental illness or not.

 

The point of this rant though is this:

 

In customer service, you're sadly going to have to deal with a lot of bullshit. In some cases you get more from the customers, and in other cases you get it from your co-workers. I also deal with generalized anxiety and bipolar disorder, so I can completely relate with how you feel on everything. You're not alone! However, at the end of the day, just remind yourself to just do what your job actually entails. Try your best to learn how to do things the best you can, and if you run into a customer with a complaint (especially if they're complaining about something you personally have no control nor influence over), know always that it's okay for you to tell them that you need to speak with your manager. Your managers and supervisors are there for that reason, so don't be afraid to reach out to them if you have a question or concern. It's their job to address them!

Just focus on learning how to do the things you need to do the best you can, and always make that your main focus — nothing else. You sadly won't be able to please everyone, but at the end of the day, you're still earning money towards that paycheck. Give yourself a pat on the back every once in a while, and give yourself credit for trying your best. Know that it's okay to be overwhelmed and totally normal, but also remember to shift your focus on the true task at hand. Not only will that help reduce your anxiety, it'll also more than likely improve your performance at work. Win-win!

[Lola Step]

HOOOBOYYY, I can soooo relate to all of this 100%. I just started at my current job about 3 months ago and before my first shift I was almost having panic attacks. Something that helped me was pretending that I was there to volunteer or that I was just helping out and doing them a favour like I would a family friend. I know it sound stupid but the second I though "JOB" so much anxiety and pressure came to mind, where as if I thought of it as "just helping out for the day..." Or something it kind of took the pressure off. A few of my first shift I would walk in pretending to myself that I'd worked there for ten years already. I know this all sounds really stupid but it must've helped because 3 months on and I'm actually pretty confident, I mean I still get flustered sometimes but it helps to remember that everybody is human and everybody makes mistakes (cliche I know, but actually seeing your fellow co-workers making mistakes really drives the point home).