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What is your Daddy style?


Guest DominantBlogger
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  • 3 weeks later...

This is a good thought provoking question. I would describe my style as that of a leader, a mentor, and a parent.

 

I describe my style as that of a leader because I find it fulfilling and rewarding to inspire my partner to take action and choose to do what I say, rather than just give her commands and hope she complies. To do this I start with why. I learn as much as I can about my partners goals in life and her core values, I talk about my goals and my core values, and we explore how these might combine to form a common purpose or shared vision as a couple. Once we have a shared vision I like to paint a picture with words and motivate and inspire my partner so she wants to take action and help carry out the physical creation of our mental creation. I also describe my style as that of a leader because I strive to lead by being a good example in all things, including always doing my best, being proactive, thinking win-win, and being impeccable with my word.

 

I describe my style as that of a mentor because once we have a shared vision or set of goals to work with, I discuss with my partner how we might be able achieve those goals and what skills or subjects will be useful to learn along the way. I advise my partner with respect to how to achieve our goal of building and maintaining a healthy and fulfilling long term relationship. For example I believe it is useful for both partners in a relationship to develop and possess: a healthy self-esteem, effective communication skills, an understanding of their own and their partner's needs and wants, an understanding of emotions and how to express them in healthy ways, respect for their own and their partner's limits and personal boundaries, and other skills and areas of self-development. If I sense my partner has room for growth in some area, I'll explore with her how we might be able to make progress in that area, and then coordinate with her to make a concrete plan that makes sense to both of us and that I can hold her accountable to.

 

I describe my style as that of a parent for a number reasons. First, I cultivate a strong intrinsic sense of self-worth built on core values, principles, and integrity so that I can maintain perspective and not take anything personally when my partner is upset. This is similar to how I feel a parent should be able to keep his calm and perspective and remain gentle and reassuring even if his child is being swept away by intense difficult emotions. Second, I feel responsible for my partner and her well-being and I feel a need to be there for her and to protect her. Third, I work to build and maintain a deep, loving, emotional connection with my partner so she naturally wants to be obedient and have my attention, affection, and approval. Fourth, I like to nurture and encourage the development of my partner's interests, talents, and creativity. Finally, I draw on principles and strategies from parenting books when appropriate. For example I like to follow the Connect and Redirect strategy of discipline which involves first connecting with the person emotionally using empathic listening to understand the person and how they are feeling, and then redirecting them logically by exploring the consequences of different possible behaviors and seeing what behavior makes sense.

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  • 3 weeks later...

That's going to be tough to follow.

 

I'm relatively new, and I dont believe in being static in any area of life. That being said my style is evolving, just as I am always evolving.

 

I like to think of myself as her rock. When her world is falling apart and she feels lost, I'm that place she can go to find support, understanding, encouragement and tenderness.

 

I also feel at times her closest companion and best friend. I've shared things with her I've never shared before, and vice versa.

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