Show off your cooking! (Bonus secret recipe.... shhhh!)

[Miklos]

Szervusz!

Here is a thread where everyone can show off their amazing kitchen skills. Contrary to popular belief it's not just for women! Anyway here is a recipe my family has used to seduce ladies since Hungarians were still Mongolians. Right after we arrived from Mars.

 

Lecsó Kovács*

(LEH-cho ko-VAHCH)

This can be used as an appetizer, quick lunch, or with some modifications a full meal. Hungarians do not simply steam vegetables and eat them. Plain boiled vegetables are incomprehensible to us...

 

You will need:

2 tablespoons lard

2 pounds poblano peppers

7 or 8 Hungarian wax peppers (these should be easy enough to find, ask the store if you can taste one and make sure it is spicy as hell. You can use more or less to taste. With 8 they provide a minimal amount of spicy. Like fiery hot? Trade a pound of poblanos for these)

3 very ripe tomatoes

1 large onion (I use Italian sweet, you can use anything)

2 packages Hilshire Farms polska kielbasa. I've never used other brands but if you wanna be fancy go for the organic smoked. I use turkey.

2 tablespoons paprika

1 tablespoon sugar

1 tablespoon salt

1 gas mask

1 good music playlist (I found Pink Floyd adds a nice touch)

 

Do:

Start music.

Adorn the gas mask and dice up the onion, heat up the lard, and throw the onion in there. Remove the gas mask.

http://i65.tinypic.com/2dtvdx2.jpg

 

Heat that up on very low heat while you chop up the poblano peppers into bite-sized pieces, about ten minutes. Cut out all white strips where the seeds are and rinse seeds off. Add to mix. Low heat!

http://i66.tinypic.com/5kllk5.jpg

 

Put on a pot of water to boil, big enough for the tomatoes to fit in, and make another bowl of ice water.

Chop up the Hungarian wax peppers. Once again no seeds or white. I make these pieces slightly smaller than the poblanos. Add to medley, still low heat.

http://i63.tinypic.com/5v6quq.jpg

 

Carve out the stem area of tomatoes and slice an X on the bottom.

Drop one tomato in boiling water for 30 seconds. You'll see the skin start to loosen up. Transfer that to the ice water, repeat for the other tomatoes.

Take the tomatoes out of the ice water in the order you put them in and peel the skin off. It should come off very easily without the tomato being mushy.

http://i64.tinypic.com/bgqtyf.jpg

 

Chop up the tomatoes and throw it in the mix.

http://i66.tinypic.com/2ch53wl.jpg

 

Add sugar, salt, and paprika, then mix. LOW HEAT!

Slice the kielbasas into bite-sized pieces.

Heat up a little bit more lard in a pan, like a half tablespoon, and fry the kielbasa pieces for a couple minutes just to heat them up a bit. If you want you can brown them real quick.

http://i68.tinypic.com/1ewh2t.jpg

 

Drop that into the mix on LOW HEAT and mix it all up. Let it mix up the flavor everywhere a couple minutes.

Now I usually take a small bowl of that and drive it into my gut real quick and put the rest in the fridge. It's better the next day, trust me.

http://i68.tinypic.com/aw93pk.jpg

 

For vegetarians you can substitute the lard for something more animal-friendly, and change the kielbasa to quinoa or edamame or algae or dandelions or whatever y'all eat for protein. I like the onions and tomatoes mushy and the peppers crispy.

 

At this point you should develope a decent Martian accent and some people have reported an increase in their sense of humor.

 

More recipes to come as I make them.

 

*Lecsó Kovács is not a trademark of Miklos Kovács but it should be. You will not get sued for using this but for God's sake nobody tell my grandmother I gave you this...

Edited October 30, 2018 by Miklos

[junebug0325]

Looks yummy! 

[Miklos]

My neighbor walked in my apartment Kramer style and said "man something smells fire."

Forgot to add the smell of this alone will make you think people have erogenous zones in their noses.

[Guest Avi]

the following is an exquisite classic, only appreciated by the true elite.

 

le bread sandwich

 

you need:

 

-1 slice of white bread

-1 slice of whole wheat bread

-another slice of white bread

(if you're feeling generous, sprinkle some breadcrumbs on top, for some extra ting)

 

 

 

bone apple tit

 

 

 

All jokes aside, shit looks delicious and deffo might try it out someday. thanks for sharing mate.

Edited October 30, 2018 by Aes

[Guest Aetherr]

bbq chicken burritos, ultra processed style

 

yall gonna need

 

chicken nuggets

onion

rice

bbq cooking sauce

cheese

lettuce

tortilla wraps

sour cream

 

 

 

boil rice in a pot and throw the nuggers in oven

 

when rice is soft, drain it then add cooking sauce with onions

cook till all is hot and onions are translucent

 

take nuggers out oven

 

put pile the rice mixture onto a wrap with some nuggies and other goodie like lettuce and cheese and sour cream

 

wrap up and cut in half and serve

 

 

 

also dont add the lettuce instead throw a few in a baking dish with leftover rice mixture and a healthy dose of cheese and you got

bbq baked burritos

 

 

 

ghetto i know but they are good and fast and easy

 

 

also dont forget to chop the onions, dices or rough shop its all on you bud

Edited October 30, 2018 by Aetherr

[MysticSand]

Uhm. I love this. And I love that there are pictures. Following!

 

I've definitely submitted some recipes for an internal expat cook book before. I'll try to dig it up and post if it's worthwhile. XD

[Guest Avi]

and a healthy dose of cheese

like bc this