Fetlife daddy doms super scary?

[x-lollydolly-x]

Block the creeps.

[Guest Titanium]

Another upside of this place is that any creepster behavior can be reported to the mods and they will do something about it.

Unfortunately I don’t believe many Littles realize bad behavior can be reported on here.

 

Even though I haven’t been on this forum for too many weeks I have received a surprising number of Littles tell me the same thing... they have encountered numerous ‘bad daddys’ who quickly turn conversations into abuse and self gratification. This is quite alarming to keep hearing over and over again. One Little who had only been on the forum a short while started sending me the links to several daddys who she felt had been abusive and frightening (no, I am not the forum police in the least bit but she didn’t know what else to do). It seems like since I behave in a caring and understanding polite manner that many feel free to open up about the negatives which they keep encountering on here.

 

I have given it careful thought and feel like if the forum could somehow offer two separate areas where those who are looking for a softer, more gentle relationship could go to, and those seeking a more hardcore side could go to meet people. The principle is quite sound and is used everywhere in real life. It is the same as schools separating and guarding to keep predators off the school playground. Similarly society does not allow children into adult establishments where certain activities are taking place. If the forum had a profile setting which when clicked and activated, a person who is interested in the ‘adult’ side of ddlg would only have access to other forum members who also had that setting activated, thus keeping the two extremes from making contact. This would especially protect those Littles who are getting scared and hurt. They could feel safe and more confident that they won’t meet an abuser, only someone who is basically wanting the same thing they are.

 

Several Littles have also let me know they are about to totally give-up on ddlg because of the negative experiences.

Edited November 24, 2018 by Titanium

[Mario]

I agree with Titanium. Too many people leaving because of a very bad first impression. I remember the day some men told me childish women weren't "real" women, or making some jokes about bdsm is inapropriate and inacceptable, and deserve being insulted...

In 10 years i learned a lot about human beings, and saw what some people are able to do in such a place like FL for example.

 

A few tips (maybe there is already a topic for, sorry in advance):

 

- behavior and looking are 2 different things. Average-looking people will not necessary act better than hot people, just because "they may need to be cool to find a date"

- someone already taken asking for you will leave you for another, for the same reasons they ran at you

- people looking first at your body, and asking first about your sexuality and/or kink abilities doesn't care about who you are or what's your needs

- the one who fit will never be the one you expected, stop having "standards"

- bdsm does not have any rules except it's an adult thing for people who need consent in a safe way. Build your own, don't listen to dictators in place

- expect love for what you are and not what you do

- some precious things can't be offered twice, choose with wisdom if you are a newbie

- if it sounds prefect, it's probably a trap, don't be so naive

- a daddy need to be needed, and will never force you to believe you need him if you feel you don't

[His_sweetheart07]

Oh my goodness! FL scares me too, I've gotten so many weird messages from doms even though my profile says that I already have a daddy and to be respectful. It never fails and always happens the most after I post on FL. I want a safe place to meet and talk to other littles and I feel like FL isn't that place.

[Groon]

Huh, for me it was a cesspool. Period. People attacking me cause I would not talk to them and then those that pretended to be nice then became hostile later. MetLife was not a good look for me. I spent so much time worrying about justifying my kink and to be challenged about wether it's right or not is not where I wanted to be. Haters are everywhere. When my little left I tried to find a good place, most were garbage. MetLife was the big star so I dove in. Bad move. So much hate. Why? Just so damn toxic. There were a couple of people that I talked to that were fine but for the most part it was garbage people talking to me. Waste of time. Total waste of time. They have no chill. Not saying Fetlife isn't for you but I found it seriously lacking in people that are about it, found more people that want to break you down. Sad. This site I s the only place I found that people are not only with your kink but help you along the way in a healthy, supportive way. And the people here! So many wanting to help. Such a good place. I love it even though people get a little clickish. Everyone is looking out for each other. That's the main rub. We help each other across the board. That's so awesome. Edited February 5, 2019 by Groon

[PapabearNYC]

Fetlife is not a dating site.  Yes, they have a lot of people posting personal ads, but the site is pretty useless as far as meeting people.  As most of you have experienced, anyone with a profile that indicates they identify as female gets inundated with messages from clueless idiots who want to declare themselves your Dom.

 

That said, the site does have some benefits.  The events page is phenomenal.  I predominantly use the site to find events to attend.  Then, if I make friends at an event, we can connect and become friends on Fetlife.

 

I do have a relationship that began on Fetlife, but not from any attempt at a personal ad.  My profile indicates I like to be helpful and offer advice.  Someone saw that and had some questions.  She also looked at my interactions with other people first.  Saw how I commented on people's posts and pictures and liked the way I presented myself.  From there she reached out to me and we just had our 1 year anniversary.

So, the site's not horrible, but needs to be taken for what it is.  My best advice... Use the events page.  Meet people and make friends.  Or, if you see someone online who interests you, look at their activity and reach out to them.  But, most importantly, ignore or block the multitudes who send you disrespectful messages who clearly don't have a clue.

Edited February 6, 2019 by PapabearNYC

[PinkiePie84]

The best way to meet people on fetlife is with connecting to your local centers.

I do know someone who met her husband on fetlife, which must be a very small club.

 

If you're avoiding creepers on fet I really suggest you don't show yourself AT ALL in public photos, I mean like not even your hair.

[gorebaby]

The best way to meet people on fetlife is with connecting to your local centers.

I do know someone who met her husband on fetlife, which must be a very small club.

 

If you're avoiding creepers on fet I really suggest you don't show yourself AT ALL in public photos, I mean like not even your hair.

Good advice

[James.]

Fetlife is a degenerate cesspool of weirdos and predators. I've heard some people have had good experiences finding local communities through Fetlife, but I can't imagine meeting any of those creeps IRL. No one I know who's used the site has liked it or stayed very long.

[PapabearNYC]

Fetlife is a degenerate cesspool of weirdos and predators. I've heard some people have had good experiences finding local communities through Fetlife, but I can't imagine meeting any of those creeps IRL. No one I know who's used the site has liked it or stayed very long.

 

I'm sorry you had a bad experience but to write off everyone on fetlife as a "weirdo and predator" is just wrong.  I have been on the site for years, and am friends with many men and women who use it. Yes, there are the creeps to avoid, but they are usually quite easy to spot and block.  As I said before, I know of no better resource for finding local events.  And I don't just mean play parties, but munches and rope shares and classes of all kinds.