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The vanilla dread in dating


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I weed people who aren't into DD/lg out from the beginning.  My bio always states right out that I'm a Mommy/little switch.  I'd rather it take longer to see any kind of movement than waste my time on guys who aren't going to make the cut anyway.

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Before I have always found my dates from "real life" and they have always had "daddy like qualities" even I did not even know what daddy was. Same as I never specifically looked for dude who was into BDSM and still somehow ended up with those... Just been super lucky or attracted to certain male types? Donno but I don't complain ^_^


So, I don't think it is totally waste to see someone from vanilla dating sites either. Will they be hardcore daddies? Probably not but they might still enjoy same things as you do. Depending on your likes and needs, finding decent match is more or less likely.


I get still what you mean.... seems like you would be looking a needle from hay stack when looking daddy-like person from vanilla world, and that would be so much easier to find that person from sites like this as "at least they are familiar with this stuff and are more likely into certain things".

But it can be hard to find anyone even from here. And well, I don't think ddlg is too popular or known in the Nordic countries (damn...), so don't make your dating pool too small by not giving the dude(s) chance. It may mean that the dude will of course have learning curve if he has never heard of ddlg but doesn't mean he would not be into it or that he would not be somewhat natural daddy. We all have to start from somewhere.


Anyhoowwwwww, good luck with your date! :D

Maybe he will be a pleasant suprice. And could be that you get along super well and it's the start of something amazing. <3

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I know what you mean.  I'm not in the dating game now, but the pool of potential partners who are a) kinky and B) into DDlg is really small.  Even if you're attracted to someone you think 'what's the point?' because once you've been turned on to this dynamic, the old regular stuff just won't do. 


I've always been attracted to women with 'daddy issues' and most of my past relationships have naturally had a paternal dynamic to them (no surprise), but I've only lately realised what that really all meant for me.  I'm so glad I have my babygirl, because I don't think even regular BDSM would do it for me in the same way anymore.


Good luck!

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Guest Fancysir

I agree Vendeley. Interesting enough my biggest relationship last year was with a sub little from Norway. She was actually interested in relocating. We dated for about six months. She lived with me for over a month.


My last long-term relationship was with someone I really care for. She was Vanilla. My plan was to be patient and open her up. She started to get a bit more exploratory with me. But nowhere near where I am at. I had one other vanilla relationship after that and then I decided that was enough for me. I wish I had better help for you but I am in the same boat. I realize I can't be with a vanilla person and feel fulfilled.

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Guest MentorMike
My last relationship, which brought me into understanding more of this dynamic and my preferences, started vanilla as well. And we both grew into that together. So the chances are there and I believe even when not fully aware we might be still attracted unconsciously to a partner that fits our desires. I would always give vanilla dating a chance.
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