How do you all make friends within the ddlg community?

[Guest GamingCouple]

Ive been trying for weeks now to make long lasting friends but its hard. Ive had bad experience with my little where people we try to make friends with hit on her or on me and cause drama because we dont like that but people cant understand boundaries so we end up losing friends, well if they can be considered friends. We tried making friends who are only couples but that seems like a even harder task. We were lucky to make two couples as our friends and we enjoy each others company but due to the holidays, timezones, and availability, its soo hard to become friends. I was wondering if anyone here maybe had some advice or ideas to pass on to me. I really want to have me and my little gain more friends. Ive tried to search on here but either people hardly ever wrote back and got me and my little feeling like maybe they were all serious or just  not as available as we are (we are homebodies so usually always on) or who knows what. It be nice to know other success stories or advice people can give. I have tried reddit. I hope you are all having a good day

[Fluffybunny1996]

Hihi well I like making friends just been a bit busy lately but will be more on from the 26... It just with the Christmas holiday tomorrow. I will like it a lot if we could maybe be friends I don't have a cg at the moment but I do not flirt or stuff like that with any caregiver who has a little so please tell your little I hope we can be bestest of friends and she doesn't have to worry at all I won't do stuff like that

[Guest GamingCouple]

Hihi well I like making friends just been a bit busy lately but will be more on from the 26... It just with the Christmas holiday tomorrow. I will like it a lot if we could maybe be friends I don't have a cg at the moment but I do not flirt or stuff like that with any caregiver who has a little so please tell your little I hope we can be bestest of friends and she doesn't have to worry at all I won't do stuff like that

I let her know what you said but she wants to be firm with it must be other couples which I know limits our potential chances for friend, just people in the past have crossed the line to the point that she cant trust other as much as she use to and even I have become too scared to ever have any of that happen again. While saying couple only is not a for sure way to avoid the issue, it does decrease the chances alot of ever reaching past problems from happening again sorry Q___Q

[Cloverworked]

While you're more than free to set whatever limits you feel are appropriate, that seems a little more than silly to me.  What are you going to do if one of these couples you befriends separates?  Just stop talking to either partner?  And what about people who are poly or in open relationships?  Are they just inherently untrustworthy by this metric?

 

Unfortunately, the answer to your question is - you're going to have to trust other people and put yourself out on a limb.  That is the only way to make friends.  People aren't going to keep approaching you if, every time they do, you turn them away because they aren't in a relationship or don't meet some other arbitrary standard.

 

In any event, I hope you have some good luck on your search.

Edited December 24, 2018 by budding_clover

[Guest GamingCouple]

While you're more than free to set whatever limits you feel are appropriate, that seems a little more than silly to me.  What are you going to do if one of these couples you befriends separates?  Just stop talking to either partner?  And what about people who are poly or in open relationships?  Are they just inherently untrustworthy by this metric?

 

Unfortunately, the answer to your question is - you're going to have to trust other people and put yourself out on a limb.  That is the only way to make friends.  People aren't going to keep approaching you if, every time they do, you turn them away because they aren't in a relationship or don't meet some other arbitrary standard.

 

In any event, I hope you have some good luck on your search.

To answer your concerns, but still while they might seem silly what me and my partner ask for, its based on bad experiences. Time after time when we added single people we had bad experience whether us personally or other couples we had that joined us. As a preventative measure to decrease that from happening again we chose to have the limit of only couples. This truly being the only limit (the voice chat part is easily able to be talked out and worked with) which that is our only limit. 

 

Now for couples splitting, we have experience this and we do not kick those people out, instead we try to talk things out and see if both people still wanna remain and be apart of the group or not. If both stay we ask they keep it civil and friendly, if only one wants to stay and the other doesnt we allow that person to stay and treat them kindly and at home. We have faith from being there friend already that they can be trusted and wont do anything that would cause harm or drama with the other couples. As is with the current person we have.

 

As for Poly Couple, we have no limits on that and welcome poly couples as well as mono. We do ask as outline in our rule, while poly couples as welcome, this server by no means is a way to act as a dating/encounter server. Everything in this server is meant to be kept platonic and civil with everyone. However if there is another poly couple in the server and over time you do get along and mesh well, whatever happens in your Dms is your business not our own, but the server remains a platonic area. We respect the lifestyle of poly couples and treat them no differently, No poly couple is only capable of finding more then just friends, our current ones are our friends and we trust each other that we will not cause drama nor problems with other couples, whether poly or mono. Though as I said if poly couples get along well and find common ground, what ever they established that is consentual with both groups in their Dms is their choice and we will respect their relationship and acknowledge it.

It gets tricky but we have worked it out well and are open minded while keeping rules in line that are basically common sense, if people arent searching let them be and do not harass them  but if poly couples find other poly couples that they are okay with then you do you boo boo but not on the server that crosses the line with other couples. I know a bit wordy but hope that makes sense.

 

Finally!! We trust all couples that join and give them the benefit of the doubt. Now the one limit might seem a bit anal, its done out of experience, that is a greater sample size then one, as well as the wishes of myself and my partner to make our home a safe one as we possibly can. While it may not appeal to all, for the 4 couples we have with us, it works, and we respect each other and the relationships we have established. It might take us a bit longer then most to find such friends, but the ones we have made are amazing, respectful and something we are glad we waited for.

 

I hope this addresses your concerns and have a happy holiday season!