Am I just being to sensitive?

[puddintain]

Hi. I am new here. I want to apologize  in advance if this is to long winded. 

So here is a little back story, I am in a LDR with my DD. We have been together for only about 2 months so we are still in the getting to know you stage.

So everything has been going wonderfully, at least from my view of things. He is very attentive and is always checking on me and we talk every day and are open in our communication. 

 

Four day's ago He stopped coming online as much as he had, saying that he just wasn't feeling up to sitting at his computer, and that he was sorry and that he would make it up to me. We still speak every day, but each day it has gotten less and less. He used to send good morning messages and no longer does that.  But he tells me he loves me and thanks me for being so understanding and how lucky he is. 

 

Yesterday it old him that i missed him and it made me sad that he was away even though i do understand needing a break. But i can't help but feel that i have done something wrong, or that he is just getting tired of me. Or is it possible that this is just the "newness" wearing off and he is trying to find a "groove" for us to settle into?

 

I don't know. I am going to try to talk to him about it tonight if he is back online again, but i don't know that either, and i feel like i am being pushy or to needy if i ask him if he is planning on being on. I guess my question is am i being overly sensitive and worried because of the pattern change? 

Thanks for taking the time to read this. 

[Guest MellieMeow]

Why isn’t he feeling up to sitting at the computer? Are there other methods of communication you guys can utilize? That might make it easier for him.

 

It’s so hard to handle it when you don’t get the focused attention you need, I’ve been there. It could be the newness is wearing off, or maybe something in his real life is stressing him out. I’d press him to see what was really going on.

 

In my opinion, people MAKE time for the ones that really matter to them. I went through the same issues with my last DD (amongst other things). You’re definitely not too needy to want to talk to someone who has verbally committed themselves to you. Definitely figure out what’s going on, and don’t apologize for needing his attention. Littles require attention, it’s a fact of life ^.^

[puddintain]

Hi MelieMeow, 

Thank you for the reply! 

He has some medical issues, so i do understand it. We use discord as well because we can use it either on our phones or computers, it's our go to instead of skype. That is why i am worried because before we would just talk on Discord if he wasn't able to be at the computer. We have not yet exchanged phone numbers or talked about doing that, but i am sure at some point it will factor in once we are both to that point. We both have had some bad experiences with past DD/bg relationships, so we are trying to take things slowly. 

Thank you again. 

[Guest QueenJellybean]

this is a tough situation.

i'm going to assume he's being genuine here -- because it's absolutely valid + possible that the honeymoon phase of the relationship is wearing off + he's having trouble keeping up the level of communication you are both used to. 

 

i do not think that you are being too sensitive. i also don't think that it's unreasonable for your partner to not have as much free time as he thought he did. 

people change, things change, + the beginning of a relationship doesn't always have the same intensity as the rest of the relationship. 

 

i think the biggest thing here is the mode of communication. if he can't be online as much as he used to be, perhaps he needs to give you a more realistic time frame of the amount of time he does have to spend online, + ( as we suggested above ) alternative ways to keep in talk during the day. i'm glad you are open to telling him how you feel + i'm glad you're going to actively communicate your needs --- they are super important + your partner should know you need more!

 

be open + honest + remember that it's not unreasonable to want to know when you're going to talk to your partner next. 

if he can't dedicate the amount of attention that you need/that you are both used to, he needs to be upfront about that -- even if he's afraid of upsetting you.

things, people, + situations change, but there needs to be an open forum in a relationship to discuss + work through those changes together. 

 

good luck!

[SamL]

I got to say, babyjellybean knocked it out of the park I believe.  I'd like to add one thing because you mentioned he's got medical issues.  In addition to any physical limitations, depression is often a factor with chronic conditions and could be playing a part in this as well.  Also, while I agree with MellieMeow, that people make time for the ones that really matter to them, self-care can be a sign of a maturity level that I don't always successfully reach.  Only you can decide what you are going to believe this is a case of - but I applaud your decision to talk to him tonight (if possible).

[puddintain]

Thank you Babyjellybean and SamL, 

Both of you made a lot of sense! And I do believe him. But i also know that he doesn't want to hurt my feelings, so i am looking forward to the chance to talk to him to find out what all is going on so that i can help if i am able to, or if there is a issue other than what he has told me we can talk it out and see what happens. I do know that the honeymoon ends eventually, so i know this is a new stage that we need to work through also. But you all have helped more than you know. Thank you!