Guest LorenaKazanowska Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Hi! First of all let me just say I've already posted a bit of this before. I'm completely new to this, just btw. My partner and I have been together for about a year and have a very dom/sub relationship. This has always been my sort of thing sexually speaking but hasn't ever trickled over into other parts of my life. However, for the first time in my life I'm noticing it in other areas with him. He calls me his ''little princess'' ''his little girl'' ''his little precious'', ''little angel'' and so on, he offers to read to me a story at night before bed. He told me he needs me to be the ''sweet and helpless child that he'll look after and be sweet to'' quite explicitly, literally those words, no beating around the bush. I detailed that a bit more on another post. This goes hand in hand with a few other things that have made me think that he might want to be my ''daddy'', or better to say caregiver. We've always had this sort of dynamic but gradually it becoming a bit deeper. Anyway, we are both surgeons, and lead quite hectic lives because of that. When I've had a bad day, particularly if someone has died on me, I have started to relish in getting home for him to give me a bath, for him to read a story to me. He on the other hand is 10 years my senior, a very serious person and rarely gets affected anymore by such instances, not to make him sound cold or anything. But in that job, you do eventually become desensitised. Despite that, he is extremely soft and caring towards me almost as one would be towards an innocent and sensitive child. I've never experienced anything like that before, as like I say, I've only ever been submissive sexually, as I am with him too, but it sort of has a much softer side to it too, and I am liking it, it's a little difficult for me to explain. Anyway, I'm rambling now, but wanted to give you a solid picture of things. I'll be honest and say I only found out ddlg was a thing a couple of years ago, and will admit I had all the wrong sort of misconceptions, however having researched it, without wanting to force things into a box, I've found myself wondering if that is perhaps what would best describe our dynamic. Would love your opinions, also English is not my first language, so I apologise for any mistakes I have made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MoominPoppa Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Po Polsku? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LorenaKazanowska Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 No Just my surname is Polish, I am not from Poland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamL Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 You have certainly described a DD/lg dynamic. Anyway, we are both surgeons, and lead quite hectic lives because of that. When I've had a bad day, particularly if someone has died on me, I have started to relish in getting home for him to give me a bath, for him to read a story to me. He on the other hand is 10 years my senior, a very serious person and rarely gets affected anymore by such instances, not to make him sound cold or anything. But in that job, you do eventually become desensitised. Despite that, he is extremely soft and caring towards me almost as one would be towards an innocent and sensitive child. I would like to offer an additional perspective. I was a field medic in a military special operations team and understand the affect losing a patient has on someone. In my case, my patients were almost always a part of my team and so, my brothers. However, I would suggest that your partner, like myself, has not become desensitized. In all those with whom I have seen severe desensitization occur, they lack the ability to be extremely soft and caring to anyone. Those who are able to keep their humanity intact seem to compartmentalize the trauma and find a way to channel the emotions into a very specific dynamic where they feel safest. For instance, of the combat veterans I have worked with in the past, those who recover from the effects of combat related PTSD, tend to find work or volunteer opportunities working with animals - even if it was not their choice or decision to do so. Smaller numbers find relief in working with very young children and the elderly. The more innocent you behave in that dynamic, the safer you become to him. What you are getting from him via a bath and a story, he is getting from you in that he has someone to bath and read to - and he needs that as much as you do. I hope you were able to take away something useful from this post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MoominPoppa Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 I was a first responder for a few years...and have lived in a high stress environment for a long time. I second SamL's comments. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onkizomba Posted January 29, 2019 Report Share Posted January 29, 2019 Wanted to add my thoughts too - before I knew about DDLG I discovered that me and my girlfriend played parts of DDLG naturally. It just happens - she acts like little girl...princess, bratty or like a cute kitten I think most people who are joining DDLG have done it before already and got even more excited to see there is this whole community and ways to bring the play much further! So don't feel a need to categorise everything If he calls you Little Princess - doesnt mean he knows DDLG, but he naturally plays it Enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LorenaKazanowska Posted January 29, 2019 Report Share Posted January 29, 2019 Yes, compartmentalise is a better expression. As stated, English is not my first language so apologies for that. SamL you make very good points. It would perhaps be better to say that he and I deal with losing patients, or things going very wrong before or after surgery, differently. He is a very straight and rational person who deals very well with his emotions, he has an excellent control which many do not have. I like your way of thinking, SamL. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamL Posted January 29, 2019 Report Share Posted January 29, 2019 As stated, English is not my first language so apologies for that. No apologies necessary; your English is fine. In fact, it is so good that I can't ascertain your first language - which is rare for me. Govorish pa russki? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LorenaKazanowska Posted January 29, 2019 Report Share Posted January 29, 2019 Croatian 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MoominPoppa Posted January 30, 2019 Report Share Posted January 30, 2019 (edited) Pozdrav! Edited January 30, 2019 by MoominPoppa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LorenaKazanowska Posted January 31, 2019 Report Share Posted January 31, 2019 Haha, pozdrav, odakle si? Iz Hrvatske ili? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MoominPoppa Posted January 31, 2019 Report Share Posted January 31, 2019 Dobrodošli princeza! Moj kum je bio iz Dalmacije. Moj hrvatski jezik je vrlo mali. Znam Srbiju bolje, ali volim sve balkanske narode koji piju Slivovicu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LorenaKazanowska Posted February 1, 2019 Report Share Posted February 1, 2019 Haha, nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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