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Losing little self?


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So I’m 20 and at a weird stage where my life is mixed up I’m a little and being an adult is so exhausting it makes me sad. Being in little space made me happy but now I feel like since I’m an adult I can’t be a little and I feel sort of shamed for the enjoyment I get out of baby talk and activities my roommates might see as ‘childish’ I’ve never felt uncomfortable to by my little self and I want to be able to get over that and be happy and be myself but it seems hard. •~•
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Guest DaddyNinja

I call that 'dissociation of little space'. I will be giving you a set of tools, for managing dissociation of little space; they help with reconnecing with your little space.


Try and see, what works for you. Be well.




1. Basic method of managing anxiety :

1. Create a list of symptoms:


When you have free time, think and find out what your anxiety symptoms are. By symptoms, I mean how you behave when you are feeling anxiety, phobia and depression. Creates a list of symptoms and moods you experience. 10 list at first.


2. Make a " What works and What does not list :


Make a list of what works and what does not to calm you down during times like those. The ways must be something that are safe and does not brings harm to you. Make a list of 10 works and 10 does not works list.


3. Make a list of your triggers :


Triggers means things that triggers your anxiety. It can be seeing something that brings back those sense of anxiety. It can also be situations and thinking of something that brings those feelings. Make a list triggers you can have. 10 list at first.


4. Find out the Root trigger :


Root trigger is the biggest one that triggers you. It is a very strong one that shakes you sometime.


Putting it all at work :


1. Avoid the root trigger as much as possible. This one is very important.


2. When you feel the symptoms coming, do what works for you.


3. Keep a written record of the above symptoms, what works and what does not list in your phone always. Create pictures of those written records if needed.


4. Keep the phone number of helplines, your close friends and family with you always. Call them when needed.


5. Emergency medicines: Keep them with you when you are going out.


6. Never compare yourself with others.


7. Always believe in living and enjoying life. There are sadness in this world but there are happiness in this world too. There are diffirent types of happiness in this word and in living.


2. Method for managing stress : Little sleep relaxation method

The little space sleep relaxation method that helps the little relax in her little space. For this method, the little needs a music player that can play sounds of rain drops continuously for more then 30 minutes. The music player should be used with separate speakers. No ear speakers should be used. She also needs her paci and stuffies and a blanket.


Wearing a comfortable, the little should first prepare her mind for little space. She should first read something related to DDLG that awakens her emotions as a little. This can be a DDLG story, DDLG songs. It can be also DDLG pictures. After she feels a little bit emotional, she should start the rain drops music. The volume should be enough to be heard but not loud. It should feel like it is raining. The music player can be placed close to the bed. The little then should get her paci and put the paci in her mouth and hold her stuffie close and get her blanket.


After that the little should lay down and relax her body. Keeping the paci in her mouth and stuffie close and blanket over her. She should look above and find a spot to fix her eyes on. The head should be relaxed. She should look at the spot for few seconds until her eyes feel a bit heavy. Then she should close her eyes. She should then breath slowly and fix her attention on her body. She should make her muscles relaxed. Now she should say in a monotonous voice.


" I am little... I am little....I am little. ". She repeat that for 10 and more times until she feels more relaxed. No need to force yourself. Don't be frustrated. She should then focus on the sound of rain drops. She should feel the sounds of raindrops. Now she should focus on the idea of taking a nap. She should let herself go into light sleep. The sound of raindrops should keep playing It should be done for at least 20 minutes.


3. Method for controling spontaneous little space :

some littles can control their little space while others can't. Also there are littles who enter little space a lot more though out the day then other littles. She may be at a social event and enter little space while staying at the event. She may be at her university and enter little space during her class.


Most of the times, she will enter little space without any notice. While there is nothing wrong with it, it can cause her issues if her friends are judgemental toward her. Staying in little space and fighting to be adult at the same time can be very frustrating and draining for the little.


Every little is unique so her little space is unique too, two littles can never be the same. The unique characteristics of each little and her little space is not mental illness. It is just how her little space works.


Foundation of the trigger method:


The trigger method of little space is for helping littles who have a hard time controlling their little space. The method uses two objects as a trigger for little space and adult space. The objects are something the little can wear without being misunderstood by others. That is why necklaces, bracelets and rings are best objects for triggers.


The little chooses one object for "Little space" trigger and the other object for "adult space trigger". Then the little trains herself to respond to the two triggers. When the little is about to enter little space and feels like she is in little space, she wears the trigger for her little space. Then when she is in adult space and feels like she is in adult space, she wears the trigger for the adult space.


She practices it daily for more then 21 days. It takes minimum 20 days to condition a strong response. The little should use the same two objects. She should also make mental decision to recognize the two triggers as tools to her little space and adult space. The triggers are not keys but remainders to her mind to switch spaces and control it. The little herself has full control. The triggers are tools.


After the little has gotten used to triggers, she can explore and use various type of cute triggers she likes for examples, key chains, crystals so on.


How the little space is controlled using triggers :


After daily practice and making a decisions to use triggers, when the little feels like she is entering little space in a situation where does not want to, she chooses the trigger for her adult space and wears it. The triggers activates the condition response to her mind and she is able to control her little space.


The little can make a collection of her favourite triggers and explore the method more. For the spiritual little, blue crystal and white crystal are great triggers. If crystals are used the blue crystal works great for little space trigger and white crystal works great for adult space trigger. The list of objects that can be used as triggers are endless.


4. How to get to know the little within you :

You are a new Little. You are starting your journey in DDLG. But you are not sure about your Little space. You have experienced your little come out only few times. You don't know how to make her come out regularly. You have tried many things but she refuses to come out."


If that is your situation then you will have to learn how to discover your the little within you and help her come out. "The Little within" only comes out when four conditions are met. Those four conditions are


1. Self Love

2. Safety and protection

3. Freedom of from self Judgement and self criticism.

4. Putting aside your logic then awakened imagination.


A Daddy Dom is not always needed for the little to come out. Your little can come out even when you don't have a Daddy or caregiver. You will have to meet the four conditions.


Self love is the first condition for your Little to come out. You should not hate yourself. You should love yourself. You should not hate your body and you should not hate your life. Accept your body. Realize that no matter what the size of your body is. You are beautiful. Self love begins with loving yourself first and seeing yourself beautiful. It does not matter what other thinks about you. The only thing that matters is "what you think about your own body ?"


I understand that you may have been hurt in the past. You have met bad people and bad lovers who made you feel bad about yourself. Who left you heart broken. I understand the pain you have gone though. I know how sad it made you felt. You feel scared of failing in love many times. The only person who can love yourself is you first. You will have to realize that those were never your fault. It was those bad persons who were at fault. It was never your fault. Make a decision to love yourself today. Make the choice to that you will love yourself from now on. Then go Look at the mirror and say that I love my self. Say that I love my body. Say that I am beautiful. I am unique. You will feel your heart warm. The little within you will feel your self love.


After you have made your decision to love yourself, the next condition is safety and protection. The little needs to safe and protected. The only person who can make you feel safe is yourself first. Other persons come second. The first person who can make your little feel safe and protected is you. You may have meet some bad lovers who made you feel sacred and who made you feel unsafe. I understand the pain and suffering you felt. I understand the consent fear of abandonment you went though. But you will have to realize that those were not your fault. It is those person who were bad. Not you. You are good. You are enough. You are strong. Make a decision today that you are strong. Your past was not your fault. Make the choice to feel that you are safe with yourself. Say to yourself that I am strong. I am a warrior. I feel safe and protected with me. Your little will feel safe and protected.


After you have made your decision to be safe and protected with yourself. You will have to be free from self Judgement and self criticism. Your little is very sensitive to judgement and self criticism. Being judged and criticised makes her feel afraid. She hates being judged and criticised. She is afraid of anger, yelling and threats. In your past, you may have had lovers who criticised you, judged you, bullied you and made you felt bad about yourself. I understand how afraid it made you felt. I understand how lonely you felt. I understand how lost you were. I know about those voices that criticise you. The voices that make you feel bad about yourself. I understand those sudden urges of crying you felt.


You will have to realize that those were never your fault. You are not at fault. There is nothing wrong with you. The only person who can stop those self criticism voices and those self judgemental voices is you first. The other people come second. Make a decision today that you will not be criticised and judged anymore. Make the choice that it does not matter what other people thinks about you. Look at the mirror and say to yourself that I don't care what other people thinks about me. I am best. I am awesome. I am unique. I love me. I will never criticise and judge me. Your little will feel it. She will not be afraid to be judged anymore.


The final condition is putting aside your logic and awakening your imagination. When you want your little to come out, you will have to put aside your logic about those world. Don't try to understand your little. Don't try to view her as a scientific puzzle. Put aside your reasons when you want her to come out. Dont think about your label. Don't think about the age of your little. Don't think about if your little is a middle, big, or babygirl or princess etc. No logical thinking during time you want her to come out. You can think about those later when you are in adult space but not now when you want her to come out.


Awaken your imagination next. Look at the world around you. See it as a magical world. A world where fairies exist. A world where there is magic in the air. Look around you, notice the little details of life. Forgot about the adult world. Realize that the world has magic. Sing your favourite song. Dance a bit. You are free. You have entered the magical world. Everything is possible in this world. Feel that there is happiness everywhere. Visualize and feel the happiness filling you. Feel that the dark forest in your heart is turning green and alive. You are glowing bright. The sky is shinning bright. The trees are green and lively, the grass is greener. There are fairies and magical beings around you. Your little will feel free now.


Putting it all together in practice:


Choose a place where you will not disturbed. Wear loose cloths. If you have a stuffie and paci then that will be very good. If not then atleast keep a stuffie or teddy with you. Now lay on the bed, holding your stuffie close. Now go though the four conditions. Nothing is your fault. First accept yourself and love yourself. Then feel safe and protected with yourself, next remove judgement and self criticism. Finally put aside your logic and awaken your imagination.


Feel your little coming out. Let yourself drift back into your little space. You will feel your little coming out. You will feel her fully.

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I call that 'dissociation of little space'. I will be giving you a set of tools, for managing dissociation of little space; they help with reconnecing with your little space.



6. Never compare yourself with others.


Remember that thread yesterday where folks were telling you that what works for your little might not work for all littles?  It's good that you and your little have common definitions that you understand.  However, 'dissociation of little space', is not a thing.  It kind of plays fast and loose with the definition of 'dissociation' which is fine for an intimate conversation with someone who has accepted your definitions, but is potentially dangerous when you use psychiatric terms willy nilly in public.


I copied your #6 because you are doing this and I don't think you are aware of it.  You are comparing your littles experience with ever other little out there and think that the information is portable.  It is not.  



Feel your little coming out. Let yourself drift back into your little space. You will feel your little coming out. You will feel her fully.



This is the part though, that I find the most disconcerting.  It feels just like church.  Read this book, pray this prayer, ask for this.  If it doesn't work, it's not God that failed, it's you.  Not enough faith.  Didn't pray right.  Even God doesn't care about you.  Etc.  So what do you tell the little that just did everything on your list and it still doesn't work out?  Does it matter?  Because in the end is there any little anywhere who won't think it is their fault when they STILL are having issues?

Edited by SamL
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