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The person you think of as "yourself" exists only for you

Guest SnappleCap

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Guest SnappleCap

The person you think of as "yourself" exists only for you, and even you don't really know who that is. Every person you meet, have a relationship with or make eye contact on the street with, creates a version of "you" in their heads. You're not the same person to your mom, your dad, your siblings, than you are to your coworkers, your neighbors or your friends. There are a thousand different versions of yourself out there, in people's minds. A "you" exists in each version, and yet your "you", "yourself", isn't really a "someone" at all.

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That reminded of something similar I was just reading. Each person acts as a kind mirror reflecting back to us our character. "We cannot accurately know ourself in other ways: that left alone, our sense of ourselves will be too imperfect, too biased, to help us grow and mature as persons." Without the mirror reflecting back to us, we have no sense of "I" that is grounded in reality.

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this is a rlly strange concept to me.

as an insanely passive person, I have a habit of kind of morphing my personality to "match wavelengths" with whoever I'm talking to. I feel like being too different from them would make them feel uncomfortable, or like I'm not even trying to relate to them. It's easily exhausting (especially when constantly juggling multiple friends) but it's hard to be myself unapologetically, especially when I'm so used to hiding things.

Some examples - around high energy friends, I usually keep on my toes and keep the jokes going. Around low energy/reserved friends, I stay where they are and follow their lead in conversation and etc. I dig into their interests and only really show mine if they're relevant, because otherwise I feel like I'm just coming across as confusing and awkward. Around proper/religious friends, I'm as clean as I can be without having them be disappointed in me.

I guess at the end of the day, everyone will think of me what they want. That's fine, I guess. And at the same time, being around all of these different personalities somehow adds to my own; it's like we're vines, all growing around each other.

Edited by princesssquishy
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