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Need help with other half


Rhiannon

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HiHi...

 

Hi guys so me and my daddy dom have been in a relationship for 1 year and 4 months. At first he was happy to try out DDLG for me and to become my dominant but over time things have changed. he has begun to not see himself as a dominant and in return it's been really hard for me to even think about going into little space. A few months back it was putting pressure on our relationship: alongside other stuff and I agreed to give up my little side for a while, to help get things back on track. However I now ask him if it's alright for me to go into little space and if that happens it is never for a long period of time. The nicknames for me are gone and I feel ashamed or embarrassed to even call him Daddy sometimes. When I am in little space it almost feels awkward because he doesn't know what to do, so when I tell him what I do and don't like he gives up or says he's tired or sorry. Our normal relationship is absolutely fine, we have a few laughs and that but I just want our DDLG one to be the same and happy as well. I really don't know what to do or feel anymore and I can't help but wonder if it is really worth it to carry on. I don't want to shut my little out completely as it's not fair on her, but it's like I'm being given no other choice. We've read stuff together and I've taught and told him almost everything I know about DDLG. Do I need to give him some space or time? I really need help :(

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I have a policy with my little. "Ask for what you need." If she needs more little time than I am capable of giving at any particular time she is always encouraged to ask for it. We then work a solution that is effective for both people.

 

However it seems as though he is distancing himself from the daddy role altogether. That sounds like a more intense discussion. I would think an in depth dialogue about why he lost interest in that aspect of the relationship as well as how that effects both people is in order. It will likely be a tough conversation, but, from your post it sounds like you two are stable outside of the DDlg dynamic. Utilize that strength and lean on it to get through this rocky period. Best of luck.

 

Wex

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I have a policy with my little. "Ask for what you need." If she needs more little time than I am capable of giving at any particular time she is always encouraged to ask for it. We then work a solution that is effective for both people.

 

However it seems as though he is distancing himself from the daddy role altogether. That sounds like a more intense discussion. I would think an in depth dialogue about why he lost interest in that aspect of the relationship as well as how that effects both people is in order. It will likely be a tough conversation, but, from your post it sounds like you two are stable outside of the DDlg dynamic. Utilize that strength and lean on it to get through this rocky period. Best of luck.

 

Wex

Thankyou, I'll try the policy to see if that works! But about the distancing I have tried to have so many conversations, about us in that aspect and it's always the same outcome. He's just not a Dominant :(

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Guest BabygirlSarah1

Sadly to me it sounds like¬† Mr Wexley here says and¬† you as well¬† that he¬īs sadly NOT daddy¬† / DD material¬† ¬†and trying to force him in to this role will sadly risk the rest¬† of youre relationship¬† all together¬† :(¬†¬†The sad fact is that¬† to be a DD or daddy¬† or¬† indeed¬† any Dom role¬† you pretty mush have to have it in you from birth & trying to force someone¬† to become this Dom¬† without¬† his¬† /her¬† own¬† will or interest¬† will¬† sadly¬† risk¬† going the complete¬† wrong direction.¬† ¬†What i would suggest¬† is¬† OF COURSE¬† you should be able to have youre Little time¬† BUT im afraid you should try to find a way to have it without¬† him¬† (infact the majority of little's are either¬† Married or in a like minded¬† voluntary relationship or¬† single and get there¬† Little time¬† by them self . Im more then shore you too can continue youre relationship BUT it would probably need to find a way to get youre little side¬† without¬† him¬† (utliest for a specific time period¬† to let¬† him have some time to reflect on all this¬† ¬†)¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†¬†

Edited by BabygirlSarah1
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u say that he doesn't see himself as a Dominant. The issue im seeing is that u wont accept that he isn't one. He isn't a Dominant/have learned that this lifestyle isn't for him so ofc he doesn't use the cute names or try to act like a daddy anymore. It would just be...an act. u need to figure out how to cope with having a partner who isn't a dominant, instead of trying to figure out how to persuade him to be something he is not. It is not fair on him. Imagine if someone was expecting u to behave like a mascohist slave girl, and even tho u clearly aren't interested, they keep expecting u to feed into it. It would eventually cause friction. He gave it a try, but it doesn't seem to fit for him. u can try asking why he doesn't like it, but I wouldn't recommend trying to change his mind. Accept his choice. Find ways to be little on ur own like watching cartoons, building pillow forts, coloring etc. Or even ask if u can get a platonic caregiver to fill that side of ur life.
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Thankyou guys, i spoke to him last night, we haven't resolved things just yet but there's a big weight off of my shoulders. I told him that he doesn't have to worry anymore and that i was sorry, he asked where that had come from and I said I'd been doing a lot of thinking. x

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Guest BabygirlSarah1

Glad i could be at some  help dear    :D  & GOOD luck little  Girl    :)

Edited by BabygirlSarah1
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Firstly- Do you need him to be dominant/daddy? This sounds like a rhetorical question but I'm genuinely asking and not trying to be a smart ass either honest, but do you need him to be a dominant for you to be a little? I mean yes obviously it would be wonderful if he was but is it a necessity? I know some littles who are perfectly content to have a partner who takes no part in their little side and they still 100% enjoy being a little (that's not to say this is for everyone, just giving an example). For me and my Daddy I like to think of being little as a hobby of mine- he knows I enjoy it and he will sometimes join me and sometimes won't but will always support me in it (support as in acceptance, nothing more unless he wants to). However if you feel that participation from your daddy is a necessity then as others have said- communication, communication, communication. Ask him what he likes/dislikes, what he needs, what you need, write a list of things you love about DDLG and see which ones he would be willing to participate in, what makes him uncomfortable, etc; and yeah good luck :)
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Guest masochitti_purr

I've tried time and time again to deny my "little" side.  Trust me, it does not work in the long run.  It's actually quite depressing when she is subdued.  Be true to yourself and the rest will fall into place.

 

Good luck to you......

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