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Things that make you say hmmmm....


Guest ~*Lexie Lou*~

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Guest ~*Lexie Lou*~

I joined this forum because I wanted to meet like minded friends and have people to talk to on my days off. I have met some very interesting characters during my 9 days here so far. There have been the mean girls, those that feel intimidated by new people. I’ve met the serial cheaters that proclaim love in chat but then sext other people behind the scenes. I’ve met the skeptical, the ones that question every message you send. And the ones that think if you accept a request and say “Hi” that they can claim you as theirs. Don’t get me wrong I’ve met some sweet people, too, but I have a new friend that was hurt by someone on the forum and I just want to say be careful. Yes, this is the internet but there are real emotions involved. Be nice to people. When in doubt, choose kindness.

 

The internet is liberating in that it allows people to express themselves freely, but I hope people realize there are live humans on the other side.

 

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Chin up, people. Be kind.

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Guest BabygirlSarah1

(standing up and applaud )  I may be new here but ive been in this ON line Forum for our cinds (ie Little's /sissy's etc....  In this case  ) a LOOONG time   and sadly  youre right  we ALL need to keep in mind that behind our avatars we are actual humans  &  as shuch we really need to  be  more thoughtful towards  everyones feelings on line 

 

 

So i second  the above statement    :wub:        

Edited by BabygirlSarah1
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Guest Naturalselectionissexy

I am no different in real life than on here. I don't practice decisions/actions based on emotions, only logic and reality. Facts don't have feelings at the end of the day. Since I have vaguely engaged with you I have no idea where I have been labeled in your message nor do I care if I have or been excluded.

 

Personally I found you refreshing not being a completely depressed and miserable person! I was hoping for some amazing content from you.

 

Now as for being kind... I will not be "kind" to the undeserving to make sure their feelings are protected while being wrapped in a soft blankie. Too much of that has already happened in their lifetime. Some people need the truth and need it immediately before they turn into the next... (Insert awful title here)

 

The fact that you have a new "friend" after 9 days and take their side as fact and valid without really knowing them, claiming someone else did something wrong is telling.

 

Being kind is not inflating egos or using untrue words. The truth is always and ultimately more kind.

 

A life built on lies is nothing more than a lie.

 

When in doubt choose the truth.

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Guest Naturalselectionissexy

And lies do more damage regardless of feelings, not to mention who wants a lier in their life?

 

This is where entitlement and unproductive people come from. Undeserving praise without ever earning it.

 

Who said life is easy, safe, and you will always win? (Hopefully they are locked away with no communication)

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People sometimes get their feelings hurt by the advice they are given.

People sometimes get dead by taking the advice they are given, even though it made them feel good.

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I am no different in real life than on here. I don't practice decisions/actions based on emotions, only logic and reality. Facts don't have feelings at the end of the day. Since I have vaguely engaged with you I have no idea where I have been labeled in your message nor do I care if I have or been excluded.

Personally I found you refreshing not being a completely depressed and miserable person! I was hoping for some amazing content from you.

Now as for being kind... I will not be "kind" to the undeserving to make sure their feelings are protected while being wrapped in a soft blankie. Too much of that has already happened in their lifetime. Some people need the truth and need it immediately before they turn into the next... (Insert awful title here)

The fact that you have a new "friend" after 9 days and take their side as fact and valid without really knowing them, claiming someone else did something wrong is telling.

Being kind is not inflating egos or using untrue words. The truth is always and ultimately more kind.

A life built on lies is nothing more than a lie.

When in doubt choose the truth.

Emotions are just as human as common sense and logic. Im not in any way condemning the way you live your life or anything of that sorts, but to say you dont act based on emotions.. either thats a lie or you might have some emotional disconnect.

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Guest Naturalselectionissexy

Emotions are just as human as common sense and logic. Im not in any way condemning the way you live your life or anything of that sorts, but to say you dont act based on emotions.. either thats a lie or you might have some emotional disconnect.

I could literally program your exact statement into an AI program based off of averages and their responses to certain stimulaie to show the "kind" response. Yet you make the presumption that a logic based individual is emotionally disconnected or lying that refuses to participate in such behavior.

 

You equation doesn't quite balance and is incorrect.

 

Again the truth will always be just that. Anything but the truth is a lie.

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I could literally program your exact statement into an AI program based off of averages and their responses to certain stimulaie to show the "kind" response. Yet you make the presumption that a logic based individual is emotionally disconnected or lying that refuses to participate in such behavior.

 

You equation doesn't quite balance and is incorrect.

 

Again the truth will always be just that. Anything but the truth is a lie.

 

It used to aggravate me to no end, that in the original Star Trek that Spock was portrayed as both emotionally disconnected and resisting - at the same time.  He stated many times that Vulcans feel their emotions stronger than Humans; so it is strength not disconnect.  As a result, there were times where the most logical thing for Spock to do was to act emotional - but he never did.  Anyway, I think many identify 'not acting emotional' with 'not having emotions'.

 

Also, and not to be difficult:  Anything but the truth is a lie OR silence.  It's rare but I'm trying to make use of that more these days. :)

Edited by SamL
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Guest ~*Lexie Lou*~

I appreciate the replies to the topic. I am not sure some of you understood the point I was trying to make. I didn’t insinuate that life is easy and everybody wins. I just meant that if you had to choose between being kind or unkind you should choose kindness. Even in situations where your first reaction is to be unkind, it’s important to remember that on the other end of your words someone with real feelings may be going through stuff you don’t know about. Just because they treat you unkind or unjust doesn’t make it right.

 

Be nice to people, if nothing else it scares the crap out of them.

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Guest CharlieFPG

I found that by interacting with people via call or text made it harder for me to feel empathy. You do not see a face that might reflect the impact of your words and, these words, usually reflect what you are feeling at the moment, rather than what the person actually meant. In that detachment from the other, also explains why is so easy and so common to argue with strangers over the internet.

 

I try my best to be kind with people on forums and internet, but I also find myself feeling angry at work for a call, a chat or an email; and that reflects my own frustration with work, and so many other aspects of my life in which the words of others were vessels carrying the spark I needed to spout my own poison.

 

So you may want to stop, re read the text in front of you and try to understand. Kindness actually is not hard. And as the song goes, you might be carrying hate that the other person does not feel.

Edited by CharlieFPG
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Emotions are just as human as common sense and logic. Im not in any way condemning the way you live your life or anything of that sorts, but to say you dont act based on emotions.. either thats a lie or you might have some emotional disconnect.

 

Just because an individual bases their behavior around logic and reality doesn't mean they're disconnected from emotions. In some instances, I would argue they have an increased level of emotional intelligence. I try to base all my decisions and actions around reality and logic (I slip up occasionally). This doesn't mean I don't experience strong levels of emotion, at times, I do. It means I'm disciplined and in control of my behavior, and not controlled by my feelings. I'm able to step back from those feelings, analyze them, compartmentalize the irrational, and behave rationally. How one feels and how one acts are two different things. Also, I don't lack empathy. I simply value truth over tact.

Edited by Revurx
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There's all sorts of people out there. On line I tend to treat everyone about equally and kindly. If someone bothers me I generally just don't engage, or if I must I stick to a short to the point response.

 

I'm not going to tell a person who wants a partner to take care of them but give nothing back that they're totally ok, but I also won't just simply tell them they're the problem and leave it at that. If I'm going to take the time to respond to them I'll make sure to provide suggestions for a better outcome next time. I want to help people. Not just berate them.

 

People on this site and others all grew up in different environments. Sometimes people never learned how to properly interact with others. (Note to anyone reading this: I'm not talking about anyone in particular.) Writing can be easily misinterpreted, especially if someone had a bad day. I try to use emoticons to help and just usually avoid sarcasm online unless it's very obvious.

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Guest Naturalselectionissexy

I appreciate the replies to the topic. I am not sure some of you understood the point I was trying to make. I didn’t insinuate that life is easy and everybody wins. I just meant that if you had to choose between being kind or unkind you should choose kindness. Even in situations where your first reaction is to be unkind, it’s important to remember that on the other end of your words someone with real feelings may be going through stuff you don’t know about. Just because they treat you unkind or unjust doesn’t make it right.

Be nice to people, if nothing else it scares the crap out of them.

I understand where you are attempting to come from. It's just unreasonable. Here is why...

 

This afternoon as I was going to lunch. I was walking down the sidewalk past a restaurant I have never patronned. I see a child smashing the foundation with a rock. I ask the table closest to the child if it is theirs. They aknowledge that it is. I state the child is causing physical harm to the building. They proceed to go off on me for not minding my own business, all while their child is destroying private property.

 

Point is the offended even if wrong are still wrong, and have no entitlement to be offended at the same time. If I could have gotten away with it I would have turned every single one of them over my knee and given them spankings until my hand hurt.

 

Bad behavior does not gaurentee positive reinforcement on my part and I reject any misperceived notion that it is deserved or entitled.

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Bad behavior does not gaurentee positive reinforcement on my part and I reject any misperceived notion that it is deserved or entitled.

 

May I add, for me of course, I do not presume to speak for you...

 

Good behavior doesn't guarantee positive reinforcement on my part either  

 

There is also no guarantee that positive reinforcement will look like you something positive or vice versa.  I gave some extremely positive feedback to an eleven and twelve year old recently about how cool their pants looked down around their knees.  Asked me to show them how to adjust mine to copy the look.  A day or so later, they outgrew the style.  

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Guest Naturalselectionissexy

May I add, for me of course, I do not presume to speak for you...

 

Good behavior doesn't guarantee positive reinforcement on my part either  

 

There is also no guarantee that positive reinforcement will look like you something positive or vice versa.  I gave some extremely positive feedback to an eleven and twelve year old recently about how cool their pants looked down around their knees.  Asked me to show them how to adjust mine to copy the look.  A day or so later, they outgrew the style.

 

Absolutely!

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