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    DDLG: Sub wont listen?


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    #1 DxddyMax

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 07:04 AM

    I have no Idea what to do. I am a Daddy Dom and My little girl Refuses to listen. We are LDR and whenever I try to punish her, she simply just ignores me or blocks me on social media. I let her know that I am very upset with her for this but she doesn't care. I have no idea what to do because none of my punishments are working. 



    #2 crazycatdaddy

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 07:34 AM

    Have you talked to her about what punishment she finds acceptable? Punishment in a DD/LG relationship requires the consent of both partners, otherwise it doesn't make sense. You may be her daddy/dom, but she still has input into the relationship. Communicate with her as adults and equals. Discuss what you want out of the relationship, what rules you have and why, and what the punishments will be for rule-breaking. Then be quiet and listen to what she has to say about it because you may find she has a different idea or different expectations. Try to find a happy middle ground between what you want and what she wants. Even though DD/LG is a power play, the emphasis is really on the word "play" - this is something both partners do because they enjoy it, and if she's not doing what you're trying to make her do, that sounds like she's not enjoying that aspect of the relationship.

     

    If you've already discussed these things and these are punishments she's agreed to, you have to understand that for most people, DD/LG is not a 24/7 thing and if she's not in littlespace or submissive mode, she might not want to be punished or do any DD/LG activities at that time. But you won't know that unless and until you talk about it properly. Just trying to force more and more punishment and telling her you're mad that she won't do what you say is just gonna kill the relationship.


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    #3 BabyGirlElfy

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 08:38 AM

    You need to discuss what you both want in the relationship, and like crazycatdaddy said, you need to agree on the punishments. If you cannot find a middle ground though, and you realize that this is not the relationship you want, you may need to end things and move on.
    I hope you two can come to an agreement and that it will work out.

    I wish you both the best.
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    #4 Sachita

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 11:44 AM

    You are in a relationship with someone who blocks you on social media?  Wow, I feel so old because I did not realize this was a thing that happened.


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    #5 LittleSnowiii

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 12:38 PM

    I have no Idea what to do. I am a Daddy Dom and My little girl Refuses to listen. We are LDR and whenever I try to punish her, she simply just ignores me or blocks me on social media. I let her know that I am very upset with her for this but she doesn't care. I have no idea what to do because none of my punishments are working. 

    Like other people said, it might be that she isn't confortable with certain punishments (or punishments in general). Or it might be she thinks all you want is the sexual part of ddlg and she might want more?

     

    If you guys have an honest and straight forward talk I'm sure stuff will be fixed. However I'll say I don't get the blocking part. Blocking after a long and persistent event, I understand. But randomly blocking and unblocking is rather confusing. Communication is key.


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    #6 DxddyMax

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 03:20 PM

    I have tried to have a conversation with her many times but whenever I do she acts like she doesnt care and tells me that nothing is wrong with my rules. I am always sending her things that she wanted and buying her stuff. Our Relationship is sexual but not ALWAYS constantly sexual. Its only sexual when she is in the mood for it. If she isnt them I wont make it sexual. 

     

    Like other people said, it might be that she isn't confortable with certain punishments (or punishments in general). Or it might be she thinks all you want is the sexual part of ddlg and she might want more?

     

    If you guys have an honest and straight forward talk I'm sure stuff will be fixed. However I'll say I don't get the blocking part. Blocking after a long and persistent event, I understand. But randomly blocking and unblocking is rather confusing. Communication is key.


    Edited by DxddyMax, 24 March 2019 - 03:28 PM.


    #7 DxddyMax

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 03:39 PM

    Exhibit A. (O-O) Is My Sub. I am Ki/xty <3

     

      Ki/xty <3Today at 5:42 PM

    Why werent you replying.
     
    2. (She called someone BB on Msp.)
     
    3.(She cursed.)
     
    (ʘ‿ʘ)Today at 5:43 PM
    **yawn
     
    Ki/xty <3Today at 5:43 PM
    Why werent you replying.
     
    (ʘ‿ʘ)Today at 5:43 PM
    r u done
     
    Ki/xty <3Today at 5:43 PM
    Why Werent you replying.
    Hm?
     
    (Then she stops replying.)
    So I spam. Then she blocks me. 
    This happens. Every. Single. Time. 
    But when its a reward. She takes the reward. 


    #8 DxddyMax

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 03:40 PM

    For anyone else talking about my rules. I have sat down multiple times and asked her about my rules and she agreed and said there was no issue with them. 



    #9 LittleCelticLass

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 04:22 PM

    It seems to me she's not interested in actually having a relationship. Maybe it's time to cut your losses and move on.
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    #10 DxddyMax

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 04:26 PM

    She has even cheated on me with other daddies and even with other littles. 

     

    It seems to me she's not interested in actually having a relationship. Maybe it's time to cut your losses and move on.



    #11 Aetherr

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 04:43 PM

    i dont think she actually wants to be a real sub or is in denial about what she wants, have a heart to heart conversation with her about how this is not working for you and you need it to work for both parties or you are going to put a stop to it and move on from her,

     

    this is not a ddlg or d/s issue its a relationship issue, either she does not respect you or does not love you... likely both but yeah

     

    put your foot down m8



    #12 BabyGirlElfy

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 05:13 PM

    She's just takes rewards and gifts?
    She almost sounds like she doesn't want a Daddy Dom, sounds to me like she just wants a sugar daddy.
    And she has cheated on you several times?
    You don't sound happy with her.. at all.

    It honestly just sounds like you should cut all ties with her.

    And the blocking part? That just seems so immature, she may be a little, but she is still an adult. I think it's time you just move on, honestly.

    It sounds like you have tried your best to help the relationship, but all parties have to try in a relationship.

    You do not deserve to be used. Not only does it sound like she is using you, it sounds like she discards you when she isn't getting what she wants, or she has used you for what she wants for the day.

    Do what makes you happy. Make sure you are taking care of yourself.

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    #13 Little kaiya

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 05:16 PM

    Honestly it sounds like she's just using you. I'd suggest stop sending her things. A relationship should be based on mutual respect and love not gift giving.

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    #14 Alaskan Daddy

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 05:37 PM

    To me it sounds like she is using you and does not respect you. I can't see anything changing with her. It seems she is making the relationship about her wants and desires. It does not seem like it is 2-way. Ultimately it is up to you, but try to be selfish and see if your needs are being satisfied. If they are not then she may not be a good match for you. I think you have received some good information from the people here. Read all the information presented here by you and all the other people. When you have done that you will know in your heart what you need to do.

    I hope this helps.



    #15 bigchocolatedaddy

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 07:15 PM

    Throw the whole bitch away and move on.You deserve more. As blunt as that is, that's the best way to go about this.


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    #16 Siniwit

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 10:06 PM

    This isn't a relationship. It's BS. Toxic. Get out. Leave. Move on. I've been there and I never want to go back. Don't put yourself in those same shoes. They're not comfortable.


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    #17 PrincessAurora

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    Posted 24 March 2019 - 11:33 PM

    So just from that example of a conversation. you need to dump her. 
    she's as you stated, cheated on you with other daddies and littles, notice how you said multiples of each.
    she only interacts with you if your giving her something.

     

    she's using you as a sugardaddy. 


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    #18 Potassium

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    Posted 25 March 2019 - 07:03 AM

    Mate, shes abusing you.

     

    You should have cut your losses a long time ago.


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