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Silkyblacklace

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How can you love anyone if you can’t love yourself?

Can’t forgive yourself.

Can’t move on.

But your forgiving of others faults and actions.

Though clearly the pain is still there?

This was just a little something I was thinking on. Of course not pin pointed at anyone. I won’t go into a lot of details because I am a private woman. But I just realized.. deep down.. even with having my career. Having everything I worked hard for.. I’m beyond lonely. And I’m not sure that even being in this life style.. I will truly find someone to truly understand me.

How does anyone on here deal with loliness or work on trying to fill that void?

 

 

-End of Rant

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Guest flowinghairdd

I am personally religious, but I think that same principle applies to lots of things. Although, I'm personally always a fan of prayer. I have found it to be comforting and useful. I think you need to ask yourself what are the quality of your relationships. Humans are social creatures that evolved in small tight nit family groups. A lot of modern work is weird. Also a lot of modern world emphasizes our brains over the rest of the us, which is a bit odd, and I think can do weird things to the brain. Although I'm not positive. If you have free time, volunteering or joining a club that has outgoing people who will bring you into their circle is a great way to do it. I don't / didn't love the friend making process when I was younger, but I have found that has helped me learn. Another thing is how much exercise do you get. Its not crazy to think people use to do two to three hours of intense physical activity. The endorphins are nice, although endorphins and loneliness aren't always connected. 

 

This may not be helpful, its just kinda my thoughts on the issue. 

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Well I think that to fill that void of loneliness you have to sit down and really think who cares for you and who doesnt and the ones who dont then tell them to have a nice life so they can walk away and you can move on a little better. The best way to also fill the loneliness would be to open up more to people yeah sometimes it can get ya hurt but life is just trial and error then you get back up.

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And of course if you ever need someone all of us littles and doms are here cause we wouldnt really have a community of cgl if we werent supposed to be there for each other

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Guest crazycatdaddy

These are deep questions, and frankly people spend years wrestling with these concepts. It's very hard to judge based on just a few short sentences, but some of what you say is at least partially similar to depression. If you've been struggling with feeling this way for a long time, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to a professional about it. If you feel like you're achieving your goals and your hard work is paying off that's great, but if you're still feeling very low it could be indicative of a depressive phase. Most people who go through that come out the other side, and if it's related to circumstances - a bad breakup, for example - time is by far the best healer.

 

As someone with a mental health condition, I try very hard to find things to distract myself. Sometimes that's jumping on a forum like this one to answer posts! I enjoy writing, at least when I can focus well enough, but everyone is different so you'll have to find something that works for you. Littlespace can be a distraction in itself, but even being able to feel little when you're feeling down can be difficult. Find something that you enjoy doing, even if it's something as simple as watching cartoons, and let that distract you and keep your attention even if just for a few minutes. As time passes, hopefully the underlying way you've been feeling will change, but it's unlikely to happen overnight. If you can use distractions to give yourself a few moments of enjoyment or relief, that can really make a difference to how you feel at the end of the day. However, if you find that you keep feeling the same way, or start to feel worse, then talking to a professional therapist or someone in the mental health field would be best.

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There is a person I fell in love with two years ago (I still love him). There was zero chance of my feelings being returned and I accepted it. I decided I could love without expecting something back, and so even though he didn't know it, he was teaching me how to love fully and truly. I learned how to love myself because I loved him (and he's such a kind and compassionate person I could imagine him loving me and then I transferred the feeling to myself). I love him no matter how he looks, no matter if he makes mistakes, no matter what. And if he's always beautiful, then I can be always beautiful too. I thought the best way to love him is to love myself just as much. It's still a work in progress, but I'm getting there. If I can tell him one day that he inspired me to fully embody myself and follow my dreams and love myself, I imagine that would make him so happy to hear.

 

I think we all love ourselves deep down inside. But somewhere in childhood most of us are taught not to, whether by bullies or parents who try to mold us into someone we're not or a harsh school environment. Sometimes sadly we never remember how to love ourselves again. But it's possible. I can do it, you can do it. And we can teach others how to do it.

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