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JissyCatGirl

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So about a year ago I opened myself up to my little side. My Master said he fully supported me in this. Today he told me that he's having trouble accepting my little side. He told me not to stop because he doesn't want me to resent him. But I also don't want him resenting me if I don't stop. Any advice?
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Hi,

Not to sound harsh but you certainly cannot have a relationship where your partner is not accepting of all of you, especially a relationship such as a DDLG relationship. Did you ask him why he is having trouble accepting it? You should never have to hide who you are in a relationship and should certainly be able to do what makes you happy as long as you are not hurting someone else. I think you need to sit down with him to see why he is uncomfortable with it and not accepting of it and then go from there. 

I would strongly recommend being open and honest with your feelings towards this and let him know this is who you are and you need his acceptance and support. 

Good luck to you and I am sorry that your Master is not accepting of this, maybe he does not know how to care for you when you are little so he might need some guidance as well.

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My Master is not a Daddy. He's not in to DDlg at all. We've been together for 11 years so its actually a very strong relationship. He says that I'm a whiney little. He thinks he could maybe deal with it better if I wasn't so whiney. It's hard being a little without a CG but I'm so very committed to my Master. If my little space was not a factor everything would be just about perfect. I don't think I can just turn it off. He is supportive of me being little but it's kind of like he doesn't know how to deal with my voice and mannerisms when I go little.
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Guest crazycatdaddy

There are many ways to enjoy littlespace without having a daddy or caregiver. Even though it isn't always easy to switch between headspaces on the fly, if you could set aside some time for yourself where you can be little on your own, doing some of the little things that you enjoy, it would give you the freedom to be little without having to involve someone who isn't interested. If your relationship has endured for so long, it would be such a shame to introduce tension into it over something like this.

 

I'd strongly suggest you start by looking at posts here on the forum (or in other similar online communities) about how to enjoy being little without a daddy. The experiences of other littles will surely be helpful, and there will be lots of tips and suggestions that I can't think of off the top of my head! Think about the things you enjoy about littlespace and find ways to do that solo. If your partner was okay with it, you could think about meeting other littles and perhaps even getting together sometimes for playdates or to enjoy being little together, but that's really something for further down the line.

 

As a rule, I always recommend that people need to respect their partners' limits and boundaries, and if after trying it for a year he's categorically not interested in DD/LG, then unfortunately if you keep being little around him it's going to put a strain on your relationship. Littlespace isn't easy to just "turn off" but most littles I've known over the years can get out of it when they need to. If you could find time to be little on your own, hopefully that would get you your "fix" so you can be big around your partner, at least most of the time. Just a suggestion but if I were in that position that'd be where I'd start. Best of luck!

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Wow, okay, so - I think being told I'm annoying after showing my most vulnerable, little side would feel very hurtful.

So, although you didn't say you were hurt by that I sincerely hope you take good care of yourself and know that this is just an expression of you both being incompatible in that regard.

 

I absolutely would consider enjoying your little space and taking care of your needs while he isn't around. But be aware that it can feel very lonely and like you've been rejected to have a partner in other parts of your life who explicitly doesn't want anything to do with that side of you.

He originally encouraged you exploring it and he said you should keep doing it but it definitely could be difficult and lead to a growing distance between you if it's not handled carefully enough. So you're probably going to have to have a lot of talks around everything that's going on with both of you and your dynamic if you want to keep the relationship.

 

I think it's might also be important to find friends (maybe even a caregiver) who love that side of you. So you might even want to consider a more open relationship dynamic. But that's completely up to how you both feel about it. It's a complicated situation.

 

Best wishes :heart:

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