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Ghosted (and kind of sad) little


LittleCloudBee

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Guest crazycatdaddy

I'm sorry that those people ghosted you and hurt your feelings. Unfortunately within the community, and I think in the general world of online dating, ghosting is pretty common. I know it's not much comfort right now, but try thinking about it this way: it's better that they did it right at the beginning than led you on or let you get even more emotionally invested. Personally I don't think it should be too hard for someone to say "hey, I don't think this is working out" or something to that effect, but ghosting has happened to me and at some point or another it's happened to practically everyone in the community that I've met. So at least you're not the only one!

 

I was never a huge user of tumblr, but with their recent policy change to ban "adult" content including, so I hear anyway, a lot of CG/L blogs, I wouldn't have thought it would be the best place to meet people. If you're looking for a caregiver, a site like this one is probably a better option. There are several online CG/L communities where you could make friends and meet people, but you have to put yourself out there. If you're looking for a caregiver, write a personal ad or check out the personals pages and be prepared to make the first move by messaging someone. Or if you want friends, there's a section of the forum for that too.

 

Without wanting to sound mean, if you just log in from time to time and you have a blank profile, people aren't likely to randomly approach you and add you. Making a post like this one is actually a great step because you're engaging with the community and without actually saying so you're saying "hey, look at me, I'm here"!

Edited by crazycatdaddy
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I did send you a friend request would love to be your friend you can ask me anything you wish. You got to remember it's best to make friends first and also your submission is yours to give to whoever you choose don't let anybody just take it.
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Guest LittleSnowiii

Within the community there's the good part, and the bad part. 

Alooooot of creeps out there, but also awesome peeps.

I'm sending you a friend request now in case you want to talk. I'm not 24/7 here, but I'll try to reply as much as I can ^^

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Hoping not to sound too Negative Nancy here:

 

Either you left something out or you're missing out on some very crucial factors!

 

Both times you mentioned that someone messaged you

Have you ever done the initial messaging? There's no point in waiting around thinking that Prince(ss) Charming is gonna show up.

I can't speak for the Tumblr world, but for forums, if you see someone putting up interesting posts or having an interesting profile, send that Friend Request!

 

And don't just let that FR acceptance sit in your notifications. Be thoughtful in writing your first message to them and send it!

Be friendly, be interesting, be weird, be... you! 

 

The other factor I think worth noting is that you are young! (Not being condescending.) You're growing up and learning about yourself and I would be impressed if any 20 year old had their life together. So while being a Little and finding a daddy is an important part of who you are, don't let that totally get you down. I'm sure you have sooo many other factors to your world and life that make you, you! Make sure those other aspects are flourishing and take your time with developing relationships.

 

Please do not rush into something just because it's the first thing that comes along. It's rare and far in between, but when you meet someone you click with, you'll know it. It takes time, knowing yourself (including your self worth), and perhaps not so strangely: not having expectations. Talk to others with the mindset that they could be a friend, nothing more, and go from there. It'll help a lot to set friend-expectations or it could be a world of disappointment.

 

As others have mentioned, a good way to get to know others around the forum is to post post post and read read read! There are a ton of interesting and cool threads on there, just as there are people. Just gotta find them!  ;)

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Both times you mentioned that someone messaged you.

 

Have you ever done the initial messaging?

 

 

Have you? Do you have any idea about how incredibly unpleasant approaching people can be?

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Have you? Do you have any idea about how incredibly unpleasant approaching people can be?

Yes on both fronts. I'm usually the one who sends FR's on here and messages first. It's an acquired skill and the best way to build it up is to do it.

 

If someone is sending a FR and finding it unpleasant to start a convo, chances are they shouldn't be. Please note how I mentioned how to look for people when sending a FR. ^^

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Please note how I mentioned how to look for people when sending a FR. ^^

this doesn't just apply to approaching people but also goes for giving out advice.

 

obviously the first rule is "know who you're talking to" but you missed the mark on the reason why you need to know, which is "is what I'm go to say going to be appropriate for me to say to this person".

 

I don't think the advice you're giving is appropriate to the threads' OP

 

"Im sorry you had an unpleasant experience with dolphins, so here, try swimming with sharks instead"

 

Tumblr by comparison is a far more forgiving place to approach people than here.

 

you have zero margin of error on this forum. one awkward moment, one answer that is too ambiguous or could be misinterpreted and you've earned yourself a one way ticket to blocksville.

 

if someone is struggling on tumblr then this forum is the last place they should try.

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I don't think the advice you're giving is appropriate to the threads' OP

Hi Aston! I don't think it's appropriate for us to be hijacking the OP's thread so I'll PM you instead. ^^

 

Please feel free to offer your own advice here to the OP as you felt mine was inappropriate - I'm sure the OP will appreciate that!

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